Chapter 32
THIRTY-TWO
NOAH
My heart beats steadily as I reach Gracie’s door before pounding on it. I shout her name, forcing panic into my voice as wicked anticipation builds inside of me.
It takes a moment, but soon the door is swinging open to reveal a very disheveled and sleep addled Gracie.
Clearly, she’s just woken up if the look on her face is anything to go by.
That, and she’s still wearing the pajamas I dressed her in when I brought her back last night.
She was so out of it that she had no idea what was going on, yet she never once panicked.
Instead, she just listened to the instructions I was giving her without complaint, which is probably the biggest compliment she could have given me.
Even after everything she said that led to last night’s little escapade, it’s clear she trusted me enough to be in that state with me. Whether she wants to trust me or not.
“Thank fuck,” I mutter and tilt my head back, closing my eyes with a relieved expression on my face before focusing my attention back on her. “Are you okay? I’ve been going out of my damn mind the entire way here.”
I purposely made my hair and clothes look disheveled before coming here, just to sell the act a little bit more.
“I…” A look of confusion crosses her face before a mixture of emotions as though she’s recalling the events of last night before she quickly settles on panic. “Are you okay? What happened to you?” she demands and fuck, it’s kind of hot.
“I’m fine,” I say and wave my hand in a dismissive gesture before letting myself into her dorm since she was still just standing there.
She closes the door behind her before following me to the small couch.
“I don’t know what happened, if I’m honest. I remember following you to the outer edge of campus and then…
nothing. It’s all blank. I woke up in my bed, still wearing the same clothes from last night with no memory of what happened.
As soon as pieced together what I could remember, I high tailed it over here to make sure you were okay. Are you? Did you see him again?”
Relief and indecision mar her features and her tongue swipes across her lower lip before she shakes her head. “Uhm, no. I texted you and when you didn’t reply, I figured it was safer for me to head back. I thought maybe you’d lost your phone or something.”
Liar.
She shrugs, the motion more jerky than casual like she’s going for and thank fuck she didn’t ever decide to go into acting because she is terrible at it.
“Well thank fuck,” I say with relief, and she squirms next to me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Her mouth works, opening and closing as though she can’t find her words and I sit patiently as I wait for her to get there, my curiosity off the charts.
After a moment, she steels herself, determination clear in her eyes with a little doubt mixed in there, too. Uh oh.
“I need to tell you something,” she rasps before hesitating. She stands, moving further away from me and starts pacing.
Okay, seriously, what the hell is going on?
“I want to start by saying I’m sorry.” She keeps pacing, and my eyes don’t leave her for a single second.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Noah. Please know that it wasn’t intentional.
It just kind of happened, and then… well, I kind of kept letting it happen.
” There are tears in her eyes now, and I’d love nothing more than to wipe them away for her, but I have a feeling she needs to get whatever this is out without my interference.
“I never meant to do that to you,” she whispers, and the tears start to fall. She wipes them away angrily, and she looks so goddamn breathtaking right now. “I’m a horrible person, and I’ll understand if you never want to see or speak to me again.”
I’m… so confused.
Mainly confused that I have no idea what she’s talking about but also baffled at the notion of me never wanting to talk to her again.
Nothing she could ever do would make that happen.
She could kill everyone I love, and I’d help her bury the bodies with a smile on my face.
“Okay,” I say slowly. “But what is it that you did, Gracie?”
“I… I…” She pauses and whimpers, unable to look me in the eye as she whispers, “I violated you.”
Oh, fucking hell.
She’s such a good person. If it was me, I’d have just revisited the memory every night as I got myself off, but not my Gracie. No, she’s been feeling guilty about this. So guilty, that she felt the need to tell me even though she thought I might cut her out of my life.
“What do you mean?” I ask, since she thinks I was sleeping at the time and that seems like something someone would ask when told that they were violated.
I think?
I’m not sure, I’m basically just winging the whole thing at this point.
“I… We were at your parents’ place. And somehow, we were lying together, and I was dreaming and then I woke up and…
” she whimpers again, this time her body trembling with the force of it and I bite the inside of my lip to stop myself from putting an end to it.
She needs to get this out, plus this could be good for us if I manage to spin it the way I want to.
“I must have been dreaming of something, because then I woke up and I was moving and it felt good and then I realized that it was you and that you were still sleeping, it felt so good, and I couldn’t stop and then…
and then…” The entire thing is rushed out before she trails off, her cheeks pink with the prettiest blush I’ve ever seen.
I clear my throat. “And then?” I ask, doing my best to keep a straight face and thanking my earlier self for wearing jeans so she can’t see just how turned on I am right now.
“I got off. On you. I got off on you, and I’m so fucking sorry Noah.”
Her eyes are pleading with me, and she looks so goddamn beautiful that I can’t help but blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.
“Show me.”
Fuck, that’s not going to go over well. She’s not ready yet, but there’s no taking back the words now that they’re out there.
“W-what?” she stutters, her eyes wide, but she isn’t backing away or kicking me out, so I’m taking that as a good sign.
I take a deep breath, steeling myself for her reaction and forcing myself to say the words that might make all of my efforts go up in flames. “I said, show me,” I say and gesture towards my lap. “It’s only fair that I get to see it while awake.” Not that I was actually asleep last time.
She freezes, looking like a deer caught in headlights and I can see the indecision written all over her face before she finally makes a decision. Her entire demeanor changes, determination marring her features before she crosses over to me and sits down on my lap so she’s straddling me.
Well color me fucking surprised.
“Is this what you wanted?” she mutters, and I smirk as I lean back on the sofa and stare at her before raising a brow in a what are you waiting for gesture.
She rolls her eyes before tentatively moving her hips and I have to fight to stop myself from pinching my arm to prove that this is really happening and not a dream.
“Mmm, fuck,” I say on a moan, my hands finding her hips to help her move against me.
Jesus, it feels so good.
Better than anything we’ve ever done before, because this time we can both look at each other without a mask on my face and the secret of my identity between us.
This time, she’s voluntarily doing this with me, the guy she’s always seen as a brother sort, but maybe now she doesn’t see me that way? Maybe all this time together has finally made her see me in a different light? I sure as fuck hope so.
She whimpers, and that sound alone almost makes me come. To distract myself, I take a chance and bring my hand up to her neck before tugging her head to mine. Her eyes widen, darting all over my face before finally landing on my lips.
“What are we doing, Noah?” she whispers, but I don’t respond, I just continue to stare at her intently, waiting to see what she’ll do.
“Fuck it,” she murmurs before bringing her mouth to mine.
Fuck yes.
Her mouth moves tentatively against mine before I tighten my hold on her and deepen the kiss, using my other hand to guide her movements and making her rock against me faster.
It feels so fucking good, having her on top of me, against me, her mouth moving against mine as though she’s just as desperate for me as I am for her.
Everything about this moment is utter perfection, and I long for a world where I get to do this every day.
“Noah,” she whines and starts to move even faster.
My eyes roll to the back of my head as pleasure washes over me.
“Fuck, love,” I whisper into her mouth. “You feel so good.”
The moment the words leave my lips, she cries out, her movements stuttering and her mouth opening on an O as she finds her release, making mine crash into me, and making me spill into my briefs.
We’re both panting and clinging to each other as reality begins to set in before she pulls back away from me and stares at me with wide eyes.