Chapter Sixteen
ARCHIE
She won’t look at me. I haven’t been able to get more than the occasional one word answer out of her all day. It’s like she can’t be around me. She’s avoiding me and I fucking loathe it. Ever since I got back into our room last night and she pretended to be asleep.
We were interrupted, and now it feels like my chance is passing again. It’s all I can think about. The scene keeps replaying in my head. An endless loop haunting me. Taunting me.
And now? Now, it’s like she knows what I’m going to do before I do.
I try and move to sit next to her, but she’s up seconds before.
She maneuvers before I can be near her. I’m this fucking close to throwing her over my shoulder and taking her up to our room until she stops putting distance between us.
She can’t avoid me forever.
“Dude.” James sits down and shakes his hair out of his eyes.
I lean back in my seat and cross my arms. This is ridiculous.
“Aww, she’s not paying attention to him.” Tyler laughs across the room the table.
“Piss off.” My eyes follow her as she moves across the room.
After last night, I thought things were going to change. We admitted something was there in the past. Feelings like that don’t just go away, not with our history.
I saw the way she looked at me. She wanted me to make the move. I was trying to go slow so I could savor it. It was going to be the moment that changed everything. As if I could reset all the years wasted when we weren’t together.
My eyes follow her as she moves across the room, then I notice Tyler and James sharing a look.
“What?” I roll my eyes.
It’s the same look they would give each other when I was being an idiot. The problem is, I don’t know what I’ve done this time.
“Did you try something last night?” James narrows his eyes.
“We were interrupted, but there was a moment.” I admit with a gumble. “She’s…” I trail off.
She’s mine? She sure feels like it. I want her to be. I lean my head back with a groan.
“She’s everything,” I whisper.
Tyler gasps. His hand mockingly clutches his gray shirt. “Did he finally say it out loud?”
“You saw the tattoo.” James has a goofy grin on his face.
I stare at him. How does he know?
“I saw it when we were playing pool.” He shrugs.
“We almost kissed.” My head falls back and I close my eyes. I don’t want to look at my friends right now. Not when they weren’t even taking this seriously.
“What happened?” Tyler leans forward.
My eyes snap to his. “Y’all came knocking on the door.”
“Ah,” Tyler tries to bite back his grin. “So, what are you going to do now?”
“You look at her the same way she used to look at you in high school,” James whispers. “Don’t tell her I told you. Not that she confided in me or anything. I wasn’t her best friend, you were.”
“You’re wrong.” I argue.
There’s no way how I feel right now compares. It feels like my heart is walking around the room avoiding me. If I believed for even a moment that how I feel now, is how she felt then—Fuck, I’m an asshole.
How could I not see it? All those times we were alone. After all the opportunities she could’ve said something. She should have.
We both should’ve.
I stand from the table. “I can’t keep going like this.”
Tyler hits the table with his fists. “What are you going to do?”
“Make a move.” I turn from the table and they cheer me on as I cross the room. They’re still hollering when I move to stand in front of her.
“What are those two yahoos hollering about?” Dad growls from the other side of the bar. “It’s like having all of you back as teenagers. Grow up!” He walks down the bar and out the back door.
Tabitha laughs.
“Can we talk?” I motion for her to follow me. We need to be away from prying ears. I’m done letting the moment pass me by, but I want it just be ours.
She blows out a breath. “Okay.”
We barely make it into the bedroom and she’s closing her arms and opening her mouth.
“Let’s just forget that conversation happened.
Keep the past in the past. My emotions were all over the place.
” She shakes her head as she speaks faster, blurting it all out.
“With my ex being public enemy number one right now, I just can’t handle more of anything.
Archie, I just got you back in my life and I’d like to try and rebuild the friendship we once had. ”
What? No. This isn’t what I want. I mean—yes, I want to be friends too.
But I want to be so much more. Then again, she’s gone through a lot lately.
I understand why she would want to take things slow and not concentrate on a relationship.
Something is building between us and I don’t want to brush it off.
I don’t want to look back on this moment as my last chance.
Tabitha has always been the one that got away, and I don’t want to let her get away this time.
Then again, if it takes being her friend to get her to open up, I’ll do it. I’ll be her best friend, just like when we were younger. Whatever it takes. I’ll make her dependent on me. Sure, it’s a selfish thought, but I need her in my life.
“I’d like that.” It’s a lie that slips out too easily.
I want her friendship, but I want more. Her everything.
“Why don’t you start at the beginning? Talk to me about the divorce and how it ended. I don’t know the details and it might be good for you to talk to someone. Why not you oldest friend?” I sit on the edge of the bed and wait for her to follow.
She slowly moves, crawling to the center of the bed, then sits. Her hands fidget as she collects her thoughts. She looks around the room, avoiding looking at me.
“There’s not much to say. In the end, he wasn’t who he said he was. He manipulated me and tried to buy my forgiveness.” Her eyes close. “He tried things and I don’t want to think about the past.” Her eyes open and find mine. “I just want to move past it.”
My hands fist at my side, then I scoot back to face her better. “What do you mean, he tried things?” I know about the rape after the divorce. It was in the file. What else happened?
“He wanted a baby. I couldn’t give him one. It made him angry. When we did try, it was just—” she groans and looks away. “Archie, I don’t want to get into it now.”
“What did that fucker do to you?” I will end him.
Tabitha shakes her head. “Do you want to start at the beginning? How he’d gaslight me or how he was emotionally and mentally abusive?
How about when it became physical?” She turns to face me.
“Or when he raped me? Before and after the divorce. I’m sure you know about the most recent time.
Even the doctor knew about that one. You were hired as my bodyguard after all.
” She shakes her head. “I can’t even count how many times while we were married.
The nights I would pray it would just be over.
Pray for it to end rather than the torture it brought me.
” Her voice breaks. “I used to pretend to be asleep, but it didn’t stop him. ”
I slowly grab her hand. “I will kill him for ever laying a hand on you.” It’s a promise.
Tabitha looks away, tears in her eyes. “The damage is done.”
Fuck!
How did I not see how much she was hiding before? When I first arrived at her house, I’d seen the bruises. I knew her ex was a piece of shit. This was worse than I thought. The son of a bitch cut his claws deep.
One thing is for certain, I’m going to make sure he pays. Ryan deserves a slow and painful death.
I slowly pull at her, hoping she’ll let me hold her. Her body trembles as I pull her into my lap and cradle her. It’s the only thing I can do, hold her and let her cry. Hold her and never let go. I’ll hold her and make sure she knows I will always be there to take care of her—from now on.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you,” I speak into her hair.
“S’not your fault.” She sniffles.
“I should’ve been around, Tabitha. I will never let a day go by where you don’t feel safe.” I pull back a little until she looks up at me. “You were always the most important person in my life and I hope you know that hasn’t changed.”
She buries her head into my chest. “You’re too good for me.”
“No, Tab. You’re too good for me.”
She’s too good for this fucked up world and the cards she’s been dealt. But, no more. She may not know it now, but I will always be there for her.