Chapter 16 Ryder
Ryder
It hasn’t rained in Vancouver for almost two months, and it’s pouring today.
The sky is gray. The graveyard is a sea of black umbrellas.
Mom is standing between Miles and me, gripping our arms. The service is a wash of shadowed emotions.
Miles says a few words representing the family to a captivated audience.
Dad’s colleagues and friends make the rest of the speeches.
They reminisce about how wonderful a person he is, but honestly, I’m not sure.
I know he was a hard worker and loved his family, but I have so many mixed emotions.
Starting with when he refused to compensate Charlie’s family when they lost everything in the merger, and he remained unscathed.
Sure, it was good business, but I loved Charlie and asked him to help.
If he had compassion for the Gibbons, maybe Charlie and I would have ended up together, and I’d have known my son.
It bothers me that I’m thinking about this on the day meant to celebrate his life. I can’t help it, though.
“You know you two meant the world to your father.” Mom swipes at her eyes in a quiet moment. “He loved you so much, Ryder.”
“I loved him, too, incredibly.” Even if I don’t agree with his decisions and even if he hurt me, he was my father. I looked up to him, and he gave me an incredible life. The emotions run thick as the day ends.
The next few days are a blur of heavy grief. And one morning, I head out for my jog to find Charlie standing on my doorstep. The sun is beating down on her honey-blonde hair as she clasps her hands together, looking up at me with bright and worried eyes.
“Can we talk?” she asks, and warmth fills every splinter of my shattered heart, the ocean glistening in the distance.
“I never thought you’d ask.” I wrap my arms around her as though she can heal every broken part of me.
The scent of freshly-cut grass, sunshine, and sea hits me.
“You know, a day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t missed you.
” It’s true. I missed her so much, and seeing her here on my front step when she lives in Los Angeles means everything to me.
“Sorry, I didn’t make the funeral. I wasn’t sure it was appropriate, although I wanted to be here for you and to apologize for keeping something so precious from you. You didn’t deserve it.” She has tears in her eyes. Her sincerity runs so deep, it presses into my bones.
“Thank you. You being here means everything to me. This week was hard. It’s easy to blame everyone else for where I am.
” My voice is raspy, and my eyes are swollen from grieving.
“But I realized something. We are all human, and we’re not expected to be perfect.
To expect perfection is unfair. Though, I want everything to be perfect for you and Pettie.
If I could give you that, I would. You know I’d change the past if I could, but I can’t.
My only reassurance is that I’m a better person now. Maybe you are too.”
“I have so many regrets. I’m not sure how I’ll live with them.” Charlie swipes at her eyes, diverting her gaze from mine. “I robbed you and Pettie of so much.” Her bottom lips warbles.
I smirk, stroking her damp cheek with my hand.
“There isn’t a day I haven’t felt the same way toward you.
Yet it never changed that I wished you were with me.
You were right. I had growing to do. I’m sad I missed out, but I don’t want to miss out anymore.
I think we’ve made each other suffer enough.
Whatever regrets I have, the love I have for you and the little man far outweighs them. ”
“You still want to meet him?”
“Are you kidding me? There isn’t anything I want more, other than for both of you to be in my life permanently.”
“But the lawyer’s letter?” Her brow wrinkles, and I brush her hair back from her face.
“I wanted you to know I would never fight or hurt you, no matter what. I’m so sorry for being an evil prick that night.”
“Well, I gave you good reason to be upset.”
“And I gave you good reason to never speak to me again, but do you think you could forgive me?” I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I couldn’t live without Charlie and the little man I was excited to meet.
“I’m the one who needs forgiving.”
“No, honey. You did what you had to do. I understand.” I stroke her cheek.
“Pettie wants to move to Vancouver more than he wants his next breath,” she says, and the heavy weight of my loss lightens.
“Really? And what about his mom? Would she consider moving to Vancouver?” I hold my breath because if she says no, I’m not sure what I would do other than move to Los Angeles.
“It’s a big decision, but if that job offer is still on the table, I may consider it.”
I smile through my tears. “Of course it is. It also comes with a seat on the board and shares.”
She pulls back. “That’s unnecessary.”
“If I want to give you shares, it would mean a lot if you’d accept them. They’ll be going to Pettie eventually anyway.”
“Why don’t you meet him and see how it goes?” She looks at the pavement below us, and I slide my hands up her back and neck to lift her chin.
“I don’t need to see. I know I love him, and I love you. Tell me how to make him love me too.” My gaze lowers to hers as emotion knits my brow. She doesn’t know how much I need her and Pettie. How badly I want them in my life. So much, it’s terrifying.
“How could he not?” she says it like she means it, and it’s a salve to my ailing heart. “Everyone loves you. And you could always take him sailing. That is one way to his heart.”
“He loves sailing?”
“He’s never been, but he has sailboats all over his walls and sheets, so yeah.”
“No shit.” I reach into my pocket for the gold good luck charm with a green emerald that matches the ocean. I’ve kept it all these years and hand it to Charlie. “It’s not much, but this is for you. I bought it for you in France but never had the courage to give it to you.”
“It’s beautiful.” Her eyes glass over.
“It’s nothing compared to the diamond I’m buying you, my bride.”
“Ryder, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
“I’ll humor you for now, but you know you are destined to be my wife, don’t you?” I let my lips drift to hers as her silvery eyes shine up to mine. “You can’t escape it forever, you know.”
“I never really saw myself as someone’s wife.”
That isn’t a surprise, considering how independent she is. “I did, always. And that’s because you already knew you belonged to me.” I brush my lips against the rim of her ear. “But first, I have two boxes of rubbers with your name on them.”
She laughs as our mouths graze closer together, and she freezes. “Ryder, there’s one other thing I have to tell you.”
“What’s that, my bride? You can tell me anything.
I never want you to feel the need to keep a secret from me again.
” I pull her in closer as another couple approaches the glass tower behind us, and a valet opens the door.
It hits me. We’re out in public. Even though it’s a quiet cul-de-sac and not in our own little bubble, I don’t care.
My only care is for what the woman I love has to say.
“My period is late,” she swallows, and my heart flutters.
“Already? No shit. Could this day get any better?” I grin, and she smiles brightly. My lips close over hers before pausing. “You aren’t mad at me for not wearing a rubber, are you?”
“I should be, but I’m not. As long as you’re okay with the consequences?”
“I’m more than okay with them,” I say, for the first time knowing exactly what I want.
It’s crystal clear. I lift her into my arms, and her legs wrap around my hips.
I carry her into the building and the elevator.
I couldn’t give a damn who sees us. “As long as you’re okay with me looking after the kids.
We can’t have two sharks in the family.”
“I promised Pettie I’d spend more time with him,” she says, her lips teasing mine.
“Then don’t work, I don’t care. How much money does a person need?” The elevator door opens, and I whisk her into the penthouse and my bedroom. “I’ll be keeping you too busy anyway.”
“I still want to work!”
“Okay, then we’ll have a no overtime clause in your contract.” I unbutton her blouse, and she reaches for my pants as our mouths crash together. “You can have anything you want.”
“What if I want you?” she murmurs as we kiss our way to the bed.
“Especially that. Now, take off your clothes so we can get down to business. I want to take my bride and my kid sailing before the sun sets. You know I love you, future Mrs. Alexander. Always have.”
“Funny because I think I might have always loved you too.”
Did you enjoy this story? Please leave a review. A review makes a huge difference to an indie author like me, and would help other readers find this story. Thank you!!
All my love,
Brianna