23. Kaden
Kaden
I don’t know what I’m doing.
I. Do. Not. Know. What. I’m. Doing.
This isn’t me. I’m not… this.
I’m never the one to hit on someone first. I always let them come to me. I don’t know why, it’s just the way it is. My ex Tara was a friend of my foster-sister Madison, and I never even looked her way until she came on to me.
So, tell me then, why in the fucking hell, I’m… what? Flirting? With Seth?! Am I? Am I really?
Or am I just so fucking lonely that I don’t even remember how to be around people anymore?
Am I that pathetic?
I need to talk to someone, but I usually talk to Seth, and what am I supposed to say? Hey, dude. Wanna help me find out why I’m creeping on you and can’t seem to get the picture of your hand on my dick out of my head?
I need therapy.
Fuck this fucking COVID! It’s ruined me.
I’m not a people person. I don’t like people in general.
I don’t trust them. I’m not saying it has to do with my biological mom—I don’t even remember her—but knowing your first interaction with humans was with someone who’s basically programmed to love you and still left you at a fire station…
It’s not exactly a foundation for trust.
And I usually stick to myself, but this past eighteen months or whatever, has turned me into a fucking gremlin.
I rarely go outside.
I wash my hands so often, my skin’s basically shedding.
And now I’m apparently not even straight anymore? And hitting on my best friend?
What the fuck?
Turn back time and put me on the first plane to Svalbard!
I can take on the fucking polar bears, and the polar nights, midnight sun, or whatever, just give me my fucking life back, because something’s got to give.