24. Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Four
J ess stares at Kade. Everything he told her feels like the last piece of the puzzle she was missing in order to see the full picture that is him. Not only did his father betray him by killing his mom, the two people he should have been able to trust did one of the worst things someone can to do to someone they supposedly care about.
"Jess?" Kade asks, his hands still on her cheeks. "Say something. Please."
The whole situation has her feeling a little shell-shocked. This man was engaged. Almost married, but his actions weren't just selfish. He tried to protect himself like she has with her sixty-day rule, but he was a little more messed up.
Looking at the door, she lets out a breath. "Have you eaten tonight?"
"What?"
"Do you want to get something to eat? I haven't had anything since lunch, and I could really use a meal. Want to go out with me?"
"Yes," he says, sighing in relief. "Yes, I'll do whatever you want."
She stands and looks down at his face when he stays seated. "I know I promised not to ask anything after tonight, but I'm kind of still in shock with the bomb you just dropped on me. If I have questions later, would you hate me if I ask them?"
His body stiffens, and he stands. "I could never hate you."
"Does that mean I can ask them?"
"Yes."
Her hand reaches up and cups his face before kissing him softly. "I promise, it's not something I'll bring up to use as a weapon. It feels like you've finally opened up to let me all the way in, and I might just need a little more clarity to help connect some of the dots that are still a little fuzzy once the dust settles."
His arms wrap around and he holds her close. "Telling you wasn't as terrible as I thought it was going to be. I've kept it bottled up for so long that when it finally came out, I expected more of an explosion."
"Thank you for telling me, Kade."
Licking his lips, he kisses her, and she melts into him. He pulls back and looks into her eyes. "Thank you for making it feel safe to tell you."
They walk out to his pickup, and he holds the door open for her. She climbs inside, and she can't help the question that pops into her head.
"Do you still love her?" she asks the moment he climbs into his side.
Kade grips the steering wheel, and she has a momentary flashback to Landry when he confessed about his ex after he exploded. Kade's knuckles turn white, but he doesn't sound angry or annoyed like Landry did. He just sounds... sad.
"In a way, I think I will always love her to some degree. She was my first love. My first of many things, and she was one of the few people who showed me I could believe in someone after the shitstorm with my dad. But it also feels like another lifetime."
"If she came to you tomorrow and said she made a mistake, would you let her back in?"
He whips his head to face her, and she jumps. His hand grabs hers, and he looks at her with concern. "Jess? Did you think I was going to hit you?"
Did she? "No... you startled me. There's... there's some stuff I probably need to talk to you about, too, but I want to get my questions about Sam out of the way first."
His hand moves to cup her face, concern written on his. Even though he hurt her emotionally, she has no doubt he'd step in front of a car for her. "I take back what I said earlier. You can ask anything you want about Sam whenever you want. But I need to know what made you flinch when I turned to you."
"After you answer me. Please?"
"No, I wouldn't let Sam back in. She could come crawling on her hands and knees, and I don't know that I'd even open the door for her."
"Even though you still love her?"
Sighing, he shakes his head. "The version of me that loves her doesn't exist anymore. And the version of her that guy loves doesn't exist anymore, either. What I love is the past. The history we had. How I learned to let someone in for the first time."
This man lost everything important to him at one time, and Jess’s heart hurts for him. He planned to start a life with Sam, one she agreed to, and she betrayed him in such a terrible way. So did his supposed best friend. It makes sense why he doesn't have a wide net of friends, even though he has the personality that attracts almost everyone.
"Your turn," he says.
Licking her lips, she lets out a sigh. "Landry and I aren't seeing each other anymore."
"Okay...."
"There were red flags from the very beginning. He has this thing about him that makes him seem very distant. Aloof is maybe the better term.”
“Aloof?”
She chuckles. “When we first met, I told him I couldn’t tell if he was being a jerk on purpose, or if that was just his personality. Joe, his friend and Lena’s boyfriend, laughed because no one really calls him out.”
“You probably said it nicer than others would have.”
“Maybe. He said he never noticed, but it was like he used it to keep people at a distance. He still does it, and I call him out, but he doesn’t care enough to make any actual changes. It’s just who he is, and we all just have to deal.”
Kade raises an eyebrow. “He was a jerk on purpose, essentially?”
“Pretty much. But not all the time. It’s kind of hard to explain.”
“Okay, walk me through how this relates to jumping when I turned to you.”
Taking a deep breath, she can’t look at him. “Remember how angry he got the night you showed up, and I defended you?”
“Yeah, dude was about to blow his top.”
“It’s not the first time that’s happened. One night, after a date, I asked about his ex. He got so angry, and he gripped the steering wheel like you had. It kind of brought me back to that night. He startled me. I didn’t understand why asking a question made him so angry.”
"He never hit you, did he?"
She shakes her head. "No, he didn't. I don't think he would, but he would get mean and nasty when angry. I mean, you saw it that night. And he's so spiteful. It's very off-putting."
"Did you stop seeing him because of me?"
Jess chuckles. "Yes and no. It was so hard because he should have been exactly what I was looking for. He wanted a commitment. He wanted to get married and have kids, and he was good looking."
"What more could a girl want?" Kade adds.
"You know how whenever I cooked for you, whether it was your place or mine, you'd always insist on doing the dishes?"
He chuckles. "Yeah. You put in the effort to make me something delicious. The least I could do was wash up."
"He never even offered. Just expected me to do everything. But again, I wrote off his inconsiderate nature as comparing him to you. I overlooked it. And he never listened. I bet he still believes I like baseball even though I told him many times I don’t.”
“You’re kidding.”
“No, and I got tired of calling him out on things, and I started thinking that if we stayed together and got married, that would be the rest of my life. A man who doesn't care enough to pay attention to how things come across and never offers to do the dishes. And cannot accept and understand the fact I absolutely hate baseball. Even more now than before, thanks to him."
Narrowing his eyes, he tilts his head. "There's more to it, though, isn't there?"
"I can't get over his spiteful nature. You know that woman we saw out with him when we went to the steakhouse?"
"Yeah. Was it pre-planned?"
She sighs and looks at her hands. "No, it was spur of the moment. He drove by and saw us leaving the house, so he called up someone he knew would jump at the chance to go out with him. He saw where we went and found a way to get a table with her."
"He stalked you."
"Yeah, kind of like you that night you called, and we had a fight."
Sniffling, Kade looks at the seat between them. "Yeah, I guess that's a fair statement."
"Anyway, he drove by again and saw me take you inside when we talked. He assumed we hooked up, so he took the poor girl home. In his words, he didn't want me to be the only one who messed around."
"What?"
"He led that poor girl on out of spite. And then, that night you and I got into the fight, Landry was there to talk about things. It was the first time we'd spoken since the confrontation with you two in my house, and he got so angry. Kade, I wish I could explain to you how scary his anger is. It put me on edge even though I don't think he'd ever hit a woman."
Letting out a frustrated sigh, he looks back up into her eyes. "Are you sure about that?"
"As sure as I am that if you'd stayed stalking me just a little longer, you'd have seen Landry storm out and slam the door behind him when I told him I was done. The plans I had on Friday were for work, which I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't let me."
"I'm such an idiot."
"Yeah, you kind of are," Jess says and smiles at him.
Rather than say anything, he just pulls her over onto his lap and kisses her. Her arms wrap around his neck, and she lets him deepen this kiss. After everything he's shared, she feels like she can take the chance and let him back in. And God, does she want to let him back in. This man who makes her turn into a hormonal teenage girl in the backseat of her boyfriend's car may very well be able to give her exactly what she wants.