Chapter 19
MADDOX
I’m freaking the fuck out.
Like. Freaking. The fuck. All the way out.
Pregnant? She’s pregnant? I mean we don’t know she’s pregnant yet, but I’d bet my newly inked fifteen-million-dollar-a-year contract that she is.
Shit. Money. I need to start the baby a college fund. And a trust. I’m going to forget. While I’m here, I need to swing through the notebook aisle and grab one for all the baby to dos.
I get those first before making my way over to the ginger ale and crackers area. I want to drag this out, because the gravity of this entire situation is finally hitting me, but the store isn’t that big, and the crackers and the ginger ale are only an aisle apart.
Lovely.
I slowly walk from the grocery part of the store over to the pharmacy side. I stop to browse some contact solution—I don’t wear contacts—before meandering past the cough medicine. My detour is proving me well because I see some anti-nausea medicine. I should definitely pick some of that up for her.
Wait. Can she take this? I don’t know how any of this works.
I turn over the box, quickly reading it, only to see she can’t.
Phew. Good thing I read it. I’d be the worst expectant father in America if I poisoned my baby the first day I knew about it.
And that says something considering I grew up with the worst father in America.
No Maddox. Don’t go down that path. Focus on the now. Focus on Gabi. You can have a panic attack about that later.
That might be the pep talk I’m giving myself, but it’s been hard as hell to keep those thoughts at bay.
When I had the first thought that she was pregnant, I was happy as hell.
Then I saw her face. Her concern. How she was nothing but terrified at the possibility.
I’m not sure where she stands on what the next steps would be, but that’s a problem for the future. Nothing can happen until we know.
And until then, I’m going to do what I can for her. Before it was someone to hold her. Now it’s someone to get her a pregnancy test. I can freak out about my thoughts at a later time.
“Holy fuck,” I whisper, standing in front of what is no less then ten-thousand pregnancy tests. I look up and down the shelves, wondering where I even begin because I’m so far out of my depth it isn’t even funny.
Do I call someone for help? No. I can’t tell anyone about this yet.
Honestly, Ainsley would be my first call since she’s a labor and delivery nurse, but that means she’d tell Linc, who’d tell Wyatt, and next thing I know the team is planning a gender reveal.
I can’t call my mom or sister because they’ll freak out more than I am.
I pick one off the shelf and read it, this one saying that it’s for pre-detection. Which makes no sense. If it can detect it, doesn’t that push it past the “pre” phase?
But we could be in that territory, so I put it in the basket.
As I go down the line of tests, I realize that they’re all kind of the same, but all a little different.
Why are there so many? There shouldn’t be this many.
Some tell you that they’re detecting two weeks earlier than others.
Some have lines. Some have words. There's a thing called an ovulation test. What is that? Do I need to get that?
Fuck it. They’re all going in the basket.
What am I doing? I have no clue. A fact I’m sure is evident to any stranger walking by as they see my basket overflowing with tests. Or… is this smart of me? You can’t fuck it up if you buy them all.
I’m a fucking freaked out genius.
I do one last glance over the shelves, grabbing one more just in case, when I feel a slight tap on my leg. When I look down, because it basically feels like a little stick poking me in my thigh, I see the biggest blue eyes I’ve ever seen in my life.
“Candy?”
I look around to see if there’s an adult anywhere in the vicinity, but nope, I’m alone in the “oh shit I’m about to be a parent” aisle.
“No sweetie, there’s no candy here,” I say, crouching down to her eye level. “Is your mommy or daddy here? Maybe they’re shopping for candy?”
She seems to think about it for a second when I hear a booming voice from an aisle over.
“Adalyn Marie! I’m not playing! Quit hiding!”
I smile, because this girl’s face morphed into the most mischievous thing I’ve ever seen. Little giggle and all. “Is your name Adalyn?”
She nods but puts her finger up to her lip like I need to keep the secret.
“I don’t think I can do that kiddo,” I say. “Sounds like your dad is pretty—”
“Adalyn! Thank fuck! You can’t run off like that.”
I stand up to step out of the way as he scoops Adalyn in his arms.
“Bad word!” she says, her lips going into a pout that I think is supposed to be her mean face. To me though it’s adorable and I want to still get her the candy she asked for.
“Fine. I’ll put money in the jar when I get home, but you need to put a quarter in it too,” he says. “What did I tell you about running off?”
I lean back down to pick up my overflowing basket when the dad turns to me. “Thanks for… wait, Maddox?”
I didn’t see the dad’s face until now because of our angles and the ballcap he’s wearing, which is how I didn’t realize that this little girl belongs to Music City Rockers’ defenseman Asher Reed.
“Hey Asher,” I say, trying to subtly hold the basket behind my legs. You know, like he’s not going to realize what aisle we’re in. “How’ve you been?”
“Good now that I’m done having my heart attack because of this one,” he says, giving her a little boost in his hold. “Thanks for finding her.”
“She found me,” I say, giving my new little bestie a smile. “She was looking for candy.”
He laughs and half rolls his eyes. “Sounds about right. I swear I took my eye off her for a second.”
“I get it,” I say, even though I don’t, but it feels like the right thing to say. I also feel like I need to change the topic of conversation away from kids, which might deflect from my basket. “I was at your game the other night. Amazing fucking game man.”
Before he can respond, I have a tiny finger pointing at me. “Bad word!” Adalyn narrows her eyes at me, making it known she’s not messing around. “Jar.”
I know she’s trying to run a tight ship here—swear jars aren’t to be messed with—but her little face makes me want to laugh and still buy her all the candy. “My apologies Adalyn. What’s the fee?”
She thinks about it for a second, and I don’t know how Asher doesn’t give this sweet child anything she wants in life. Or how I’m ever going to say no to my future child. “Five dollars.”
“Fair price,” I say, putting down the basket to fish my wallet out of my pocket. I don’t think anything of the action, that is until I hand Adalyn the money, and I see the look of recognition in Asher’s eye.
“Everything okay Gallagher?”
I don’t know Asher well. He’s also signed to West Athletes, but so are a lot of other players around the city.
We’ve made small talk at events we’ve had to attend together, but that’s the extent of it.
He was never the friendliest guy to begin with, but then after his wife passed, he became even more closed off.
Which I surely can’t blame him for. I can’t imagine being a widow at thirty.
But at this moment, I feel like he’s the only guy I can talk to.
“I’m… not sure,” I say honestly. “It’s… we think she might… we don’t know…”
He nods his head and switches Adalyn to his other hip. “Can I give you a piece of advice?”
I let out a huge breath. “Please. I… this has all happened in the last two hours and I feel like I’m drowning right now. As you can tell.”
Asher laughs as I hold up the basket, which causes two tests to drop to the floor.
“First off, you don’t need all of those,” he says. “But if it makes you feel better, get five different ones. But forty is a bit excessive.”
“I figured it was better to be safe than sorry.”
“Normal response. And so is feeling overwhelmed.” He pauses for a second and gives the slightest glance over to Adalyn, who’s trying to squirm out of his hold.
In what I’d deem a pro dad move, he slides his cell phone out of pocket and hands it to her, which settles her immediately.
“Even when you’re trying to get pregnant, the moment you think it could be happening, you’re freaked out.
Everything suddenly becomes very real and really fucking scary. ”
“Bad word!” Apparently Adalyn is listening.
“Bill me,” he says without missing a beat.
“What I’m getting at is, it’s okay to be scared, especially if this wasn’t planned.
Just remember, so is she. So be there for her.
Hold her hand. Be whatever she needs from you at that moment.
Just… be there for her. She’s going to need you every step of the way. ”
“I’m not leaving her side,” I say with conviction, because that’s the only thing I know to be true.
I might be scared. I have no idea what’s about to happen.
But I know Gabi will not be alone in any of this.
Not because I think it’s my duty. Not because I have to prove to myself that I’m better than my father.
But because, even though I haven’t said these words to her yet, I love her.
I love the baby that might be there. And I can’t imagine my life missing a moment of anything.
“Then the rest you two will figure out together.”
I hear the slight crack in his voice at his words, and my heart breaks for the guy.
“Thanks man,” I say. “It’s…”
“Exactly,” he says, slapping my back with his free hand. “Now, how about we put some of these back. Save your money for diapers.”
“Good call,” I say as the two of us start getting to work. Even Adalyn joins in the fun and puts back a few on the bottom shelf.
“Gallagher? Did you really get an ovulation test? You know those are for before you get pregnant?”
I laugh. “At that point I was getting one of everything. Bases covered you know?”