34. No-Nut November #2
There’s a manly shriek from the downstairs bathroom, and I know Jaxon’s just discovered his fate.
“I’m not
wearing this!”
“You have to!”
“I’m not dying my hair!”
“It’s just colored hair gel! It’ll wash right out!”
Rosie and I exchange a look. “Ginger.”
She peeks over her shoulder, then steps toward me, pushing me back into the bathroom I just stepped out of. “You know,” she murmurs, trailing her hand down my cropped orange tank top, over my bared abs. “I think this suits you. Orange might be your color.”
“I’m gonna be fucking freezing.”
She smiles, pressing herself against me, sweeping her mouth over mine. “I’ll warm you up after.”
“That reminds me, Carter wants to do No-Nut November. No sex for the whole month.”
“But I start a new rotation on Monday. I’ll be up all night overthinking everything if you don’t put me to sleep. And also, just no.”
I chuckle, kissing her pouty red lips. “I may have let him talk me into this ridiculous fucking outfit, but I will not let him talk me out of you.” My eyes go to my reflection in the mirror, and I sigh at all the orange. I’d rather be in my crayon costume. “Do I look okay?”
Rosie presses her lips together and nods. “Mhmm.”
“That’s not convincing.”
“Well, I love you anyway.” Slender fingers lace through mine, and she tugs me out of the bathroom.
All eyes lift to mine, and Carter, who’s wearing a purple dress with a black lace overlay, spreads his arms wide. “Ehhh! There he is!”
The girls explode with laughter, and Rosie finally lets hers go beside me.
“Aw, c’mon!” Garrett throws his arms in the air. His blond hair is pulled into high pigtails, and he’s wearing a skintight pink dress and knee-high socks with his runners. The finishing touch is the gold choker around his neck that says BABY.
“Adam got to be Sporty Spice and I’m stuck as fucking Baby Spice?”
Emmett gestures at his gold spandex jumpsuit. “Fuck off. I’m fucking Scary Spice. I’m wearing fucking spandex
.” He aims a pointed look at his crotch and drops his voice to a whisper. “You can see everything
.”
Cara rubs his chest. “And we love it, baby.”
Connor peeks up from the mat he’s playing on with Ireland, his eyes lighting. “Woooah-ho-ho! Dada! Orange Dada!” He leaps up, toddling over to me, strokes a hand over my orange cargo pants, and grins up at me. “I lub you, orange Dada.”
“I love you, too, Mittens.” Mittens because he’s dressed as a kitten, and he’s been walking around calling himself Mittens.
The basement door slides open, but nobody comes out.
Then, after a minute, one running shoe appears, followed by a Union Jack sock, attached to a long, hairy leg.
Slow as molasses, Jaxon steps into the hallway, clothed in red booty shorts and a matching tank top, showing off a sliver of his torso, and his brown hair now shines a vibrant red.
“Nobody say a word,” he mutters, walking into the silent kitchen with his head down. “Not a fucking word
.”
The slow clomp of his shoes sounds against the kitchen floor as all eyes follow him. When he pulls a beer from the fridge and starts to down it, the snicker-snorts start, choked and muffled.
Jaxon closes his eyes and drops his head back with a groan as laughter explodes around him. “Fuck it, I don’t care. I look fine as fuck, and everyone knows Ginger Spice was the hottest Spice Girl.”
“Okay, well—” I gesture at myself “—it was clearly Sporty Spice.”
“No way,” Garrett argues. He twines a tiny pigtail and pops a hip, pink lollipop in his hand. “Baby Spice, all the way.”
Emmett gestures aggressively at his outfit. “I’m in. Fucking. Spandex
.”
“You’re all wrong,” Carter says. “It was Posh Spice. She was the hottest one. That’s why I’m dressed as her.” He points his foot in his runners, and my eyes go to the black string he has laced up his calves like some sort of decoration. When he flexes one calf, the string breaks. “Aw, damnit. Ollie
! My muscular calves broke my string again!”
“Well, stop flexing them!”
“I can’t simply stop flexing my muscles.” He shakes his head and scoops up Ireland, who’s dressed as the world’s cutest puppy. “C’mon, puppy girl. Let’s get you into your Posh Spice costume.”
Olivia plants her fists on her hips. “She’s happy in her puppy costume.”
“She wants to twin with Daddy, though. Yes, you do, little princess, don’t you?
Daddy even got you a leather jacket to keep you warm.
” Despite Olivia’s protests, he heads down the hall with Ireland in his arms, singing “Spice Up Your Life” as he goes, and ten minutes later, he returns with his Posh Spice twin, except she’s still wearing her puppy ears.
He holds her out to Olivia. “Compromise.” Leaning into me, he hides his whisper behind his hand. “If I only have one night left, gotta make it count.”
He doesn’t only have one night left; he knows it as well as the rest of us do, including Olivia, who rolls her eyes and whispers something in his ear, something that has his eyes bulging as we all head toward the front door.
We stop on the front porch for a photo op—several, actually, until Carter’s satisfied—then head down the street, one terrifying group that definitely shouldn’t ever be seen in public.
But as I look around at my friends, the way everyone simply accepts their place in this unit, how permanent it is, I know this is everything I’ve ever wanted out of life.
Family who chooses to stand next to you every day, even when you’re a six-foot-five man dressed as a Spice Girl and embarrassing the fuck out of yourself.
I look down at the tiny hand in mine, his other hand tucked into his mama’s as we walk down the street, and fuck
, everything just feels so damn right
in this world.
Rosie’s gaze slides to mine, cheeks flushing when she catches the goofy smile stuck on my face. “What?”
“I love our family.”
Her eyes move over our people, and she smiles the most beautiful smile. “Connor and I are so lucky to be a part of it.”
Cara pops her head over her shoulder. “And we’re
so lucky you two are a part of it.”
* * *
Me
Where is everyone?
I’ve been at the rink for fifteen minutes now, getting ready for our morning skate, and the other four still aren’t here. I’d like to hear their excuses, since fucking my wife/girlfriend/random girl I met at the gym all morning
can’t be any of their reasons. No-Nut November commenced nine hours ago. I’m the only one with a license to be buried nine-and-a-half inches deep inside my woman.
And I was, in case anyone was wondering. Rosie and I got up with the sun, and coffee on the balcony turned into…well, fucking on the balcony. Sue me for not wanting to take advantage of a gorgeous sunrise over the mountains.
The door to the dressing room opens, and Jaxon walks in, hair a mess and sunglasses on, Starbucks in his hands.
He sinks down beside me with a sigh, stretching his legs out and crossing one ankle over the other. “Sorry I’m late. I slept in. It was amazing. Maybe a break from sex is what I needed.”
“It’s been nine hours. I don’t think you can deduce that yet.”
“Feel like I can.” He sips his coffee and eyes me. “You got laid six ways to Sunday. You lucky fuck.”
Before I can answer, the door swings open with so much force, it bounces off the wall. Carter strides in, his fly halfway undone and his shirt on inside out. He pulls a wad of cash out of his pocket and slaps it down on the bench beside me.
“I’m out.”
“You’re out?” I throw my arms out wide. “It’s been nine hours!”
“Ollie put her bumblebee costume back on this morning, except without a top and no panties on under her tutu.” He laughs, running a hand over his mouth. “We played this game where she—”
The door bangs open, and Garrett waltzes in, whistling. He tosses a stack of bills down, and Jaxon gasps. “You too?”
“Jennie got a new toy. Said she didn’t need me anymore.” He shrugs. “Had to show her that she does, in fact, need me.”
This time when the door opens, it’s a slow creak. Emmett sticks his head in, peeking in before he ambles on in, running a hand through his mussed blond hair. “So, uh…how about that No-Nut November, huh?”
“Carter and Garrett are both already out.”
“Oh, thank fuck
.” He counts out his money, adding it to the pile. “Well, it started with Cara refusing to dismount me at midnight. Then I argued that it didn’t count because we started before
midnight, so technically
, it was Halloween sex. Then she said, ‘ Technically
, Emmett, I don’t need you
to make myself come.’” His eyes glaze over. “She popped on that fucking audiobook they’re listening to, and started…she started…she spread her legs and I…I…I tried. I really tried.”
Garrett squeezes his shoulder. “I know, buddy. I know.”
Jaxon leaps to his feet, tossing his arms overhead.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Was I the only one taking this seriously?” He scoops up the money, aggressively tucking it in his pocket before he points a finger at them, one after the other.
“Fuck you. Fuck you. And fuck you.” He points at me.
“Thank you for believing in me, but fuck you, too, because you had sex and I had none.”
“Okay, so. Hear me out.” Carter braces his hands out in front of him and grins expectantly. “Destroy-Her-With-Your-Dick December.”
Silence hangs in the air for only the briefest of moments. Then, suddenly, the empty spot on the bench where Jaxon’s winnings just were is overflowing with a fuckton of cash all over again.
“I’m in.”