40. Christmas Dicksicles
CHAPTER
CHRISTMAS DICKSICLES
ADAM
“Welcome to Santa’s Village.
Have you been naughty or nice this year?”
I karate chop Carter’s wrist, making him drop the teensy Santa hat he just tried to put on my head in his front doorway.
“Ohhh-ho-ho,” he muses, scooping up the hat with an irritating smirk. “Ollie girl, change Adam’s mark on my naughty or nice list! He’s been a bad boy this year!” He leans into me and Rosie, a hand at his mouth. “It’s okay. Ollie’s been very
naughty.”
“ Carter
! I can hear you!”
“It’s like she’s got supersonic hearing.
I’m sick of it. I never get away with anything.
” He scoops Connor into his arms, plopping a loud kiss on his cheeks before he sits him on his shoulders.
“C’mon, little dude. Your bestie is waiting for you.
I got you matching reindeer outfits. We’re having a photoshoot. ”
“Jesus,” I mutter, grabbing Rosie’s hand as we follow Carter into the living room. There’s tinsel draped across the ceiling, mistletoe hanging in the doorway, giant candy canes, twinkly lights, and a small pink Christmas tree, bedazzled to the nines. “It looks like Santa’s elves threw up in here.”
“Carter wanted Ireland’s first Christmas to be special,” Olivia says, wrapping Rosie and me in a hug. “Merry Christmas, you two.” Rosie’s package crinkles against Olivia, whose eyes widen. “Are those—”
“ Gingerbread Oreos
!” Carter shrieks, tearing the package out of her hands. “I’ve been looking for these everywhere!” He hauls Rosie into his arms, twirling her around. “I love you, I love you, I love you
!”
The front door opens behind us, and Jennie steps through the door, a dazzling, dimple-popping smile on her face as she holds out her hand. “We’re—”
Garrett pushes by her, doing a twirl in the entryway. “—engaged!”
“Garrett, you donkey.” Jennie glares at him, fists on her hips. “You stole my entrance!”
“Oops. Sorry, sunshine.” He scoops her into his arms, twirling her as she squeals with laughter. “We’re engaged!”
The girls dash forward, embracing the both of them, and when Jennie frees herself, she dashes over to her brother. Carter hauls her into his chest, hugging her so tight as he whispers in her ear, and when she pulls away, I swear he wipes a tear from his eye.
Then he holds his hand out to Garrett and tells him, “I’m lucky to call you my brother-in-law,” and when they embrace each other, every woman in the room bursts into tears.
Rosie flaps at her face. “I’m not stable enough for this.”
I grip her chin, tilting her face up, and press my lips to her tears. “I love your unstable heart.”
“That’s good, because it’s yours.”
Jaxon steps inside, Mittens tucked under his arm, the two of them in matching Christmas sweaters. He looks at the scene unfolding around him, crying girls and Jennie and Garrett kissing under the mistletoe. “They get engaged?”
I nod.
“Cool. I’m the only single one left. That’s okay. Mitts and I don’t need no one but each other, right, chunk?” He nuzzles Mittens’ face. “No, we don’t. We don’t need no mean, scary girl putting our balls in a vice.”
“You’re not gonna have any balls left to put in a vice if your cat keeps using them as batting practice,” Rosie murmurs, and Jaxon guffaws.
“I’ll have you know I started sleeping with underwear on, so the problem is solved.”
Rosie arches one brow.
“Fine. Whatever. The problem isn’t solved. I refuse to wear underwear to bed.” He points a finger in her face. “Shut up.”
Mittens leaps from Jaxon’s chest to Rosie’s, nuzzling her chin, and Jaxon glares as the two of them walk away, finding a spot to snuggle on the couch where the rest of us join while Jennie and Garrett give us the details on how their engagement went down. Explicit
details, right down to what color Jennie’s underwear was. Apparently, it’s a very necessary detail, Jennie argues when Carter says it not, because they matched perfectly with the sapphire on her ring, a pleasant surprise for Garrett when he got to take them off after she said yes.
“You can’t tell me that’s not some soul-mate shit,” Garrett says. “Panties matching her ring?”
It sounds like a coincidence, but he’s so psyched about it, I just nod and tell him, “Oh, for sure. Definitely soul-mate panties.”
I sigh, watching as Carter sticks antlers with bells on them onto Connor and Ireland’s heads. Then he plops matching ones on Bear and Dublin, and when Connor snatches up Mittens, holding him to his chest and kissing his forehead, Carter attaches a tiny pair to the cat too.
Carter flattens himself on the floor, aiming his camera at the most chaotic group of reindeer I’ve ever seen. “Okay, guys, look over here. Ireland, baby, look at Daddy! Connor! Connor, look at your favorite Uncle Carter! Dublin!”
“Mittens,” Jaxon calls, jingling his keys above Carter’s head. “Mittens, look at Daddy! Pss-pss-pss
!”
Fuck it. If I can’t beat ’em, might as well join ’em.
“Bear!” I clap my hands. “Up here, buddy! Connor, look at Dada! Say cheese!”
Connor holds up the candy cane, grinning at me. “ Cheese
, Dada!”
“ No
, Dublin, don’t eat that!”
“Ireland, baby, Connor’s nose isn’t a chew toy.”
“ Mittens
! Not the tree! No, not the— Not the tree
!”
The pink tree goes toppling to its side, the dogs trample over it, the cat takes off like lightning, scattering pink ornaments in every direction, and Connor’s just sitting there shrieking with laughter as Ireland stands on her wobbly legs, her arms wrapped around his head while she gnaws on his nose.
I sigh, turning to Rosie, and my heart stops at the two silent tears streaming down her face as she takes in the utter commotion around her.
Olivia lays her hand over Rosie’s. “You okay?”
She sniffles, wiping at her face, head bobbing. “I forgot what Christmas is supposed to feel like. Thank you for reminding me.”
I watch the two of them embrace, and I’m struck by how easy it is for me to forget.
To forget that Rosie has missed out on so much, silly traditions, ridiculous antics, embarrassing family you wouldn’t trade for the world.
I’ve never known what it’s like to be lonely on a holiday, to crave something so deeply, something that so many people take for granted.
Even over this last week, in all my anger, confusion, in all my fucking hurt
, I’ve never had a need to want for anything more than I have. Everyone I need to get through this shitstorm has stood firmly by my side, reminding me that, whatever the outcome, I don’t have to do it alone.
Rosie hasn’t had that, not until now, and I know this family is going to give her everything she’s been missing.
“Hey.” Carter nudges my side, offering me a beer, inclining with his head toward his patio door. “Let’s head outside for a bit.”
I leave Rosie with a kiss and follow the rest of the boys outside, taking a seat around the small fire Carter’s tending to.
He holds up a bag of marshmallows and a package each of candy cane and gingerbread Oreos. “Christmas s’mores?”
“Oooh.” Garrett rubs his belly. “I could fuck with those.”
“How you feeling?” Emmett asks me as we roast marshmallows.
“Better than I was two days ago. Cara’s advice was right, I think.
Threatening to sue, to serve Courtney in public like that.
” There were so many eyes on us, watching.
Normally, I do everything in my power to avoid the media.
They’re bloodthirsty and ruthless, which is the only reason anybody with a brain would spread that bullshit story about Rosie being my mistress and Connor being our secret baby.
I’m not sure Courtney even realizes the mistake she made yesterday.
She thought she had me pegged as the same nice guy who let her walk all over him all those years.
The lawsuit shocked her, and in her haste to grasp at any straw, she tripped over her own lie and admitted that I wasn’t Connor’s biological father.
Now I can only hope that, somehow, word spreads.
“I won’t tell Cara you said she was right. She’s almost never wrong. In fact, she keeps track of every day that goes by where she’s not
wrong. Her current streak is one hundred and forty-seven.” Emmett runs an exhausted palm over his face. “I should know. It’s written on my bathroom mirror in pink lipstick.”
I chuckle, sipping at my beer as the fire toasts my marshmallow. “I need to see her walk out of this city and never, ever come back. This chapter of my life needs to end, and I don’t feel like I can truly put it behind me until she’s gone for good.”
Carter raises his beer. “To killing off Courtney.” He looks around at our blank faces, our beers still in our laps. “What? Is that not what we’re…yeah, no, obviously what I meant was…to gently… guiding
…Courtney…out of this city. Obviously. Obviously, that’s what I meant.”
His eyes slide to Garrett, and then roll. “And I guess to Garrett and Jennie, so lucky to have you as a brother, can’t wait for you to marry my sister, I know you’ll make her happy, blah blah blah, I love you.”
“You just said you love me,” Garrett whispers.
“No, I didn’t.”
“Carter just said he loves Garreeett,” I sing.
“Carter loves Garrett, Carter loves Garrett,” Jaxon adds.
Carter smooshes a roasted marshmallow between an Oreo. “Whatever. Real men love their friends. I read somewhere that there’s a direct correlation between how much love a man shows other men and the size of his cock.”
“Ah,” Emmett hums. “That explains your pocket rocket.”
Carter stills, his gaze slowly rising to meet Emmett’s. “Excuse me?”
“Your tiny dick. That explains it.”
Carter rises from his chair. “Excuse. The fuck. Out. Of me.”
“Everyone knows Adam is the biggest,” Garrett adds, and I shrug but also nod, because, yeah.
“You son of a bitch. I just welcomed you to my family.” He leans closer, trying and failing to whisper. “I told you I love you, and this is how you repay me?”
“There’s only one way to know for sure.” Jaxon stands, reaching for his belt buckle.