Chapter 29 Audrey #2
“My dad used to take me and my sister to this fair every summer. He’d give us twenty dollars each, which was a lot of money for us back then.
” Rhett’s fingers trace the bar across our laps as he talks.
“We never went hungry, but to say we grew up frugally would be an understatement.” He glances up at all the stars starting to peek out above us.
“You were eighteen when your dad passed, right?” I ask, piecing together conversations we’ve had.
“Right before I turned eighteen, yeah. I had plans to go to college before he died. But my mom couldn’t run the farm by herself, so I stayed home to help.”
“I’m so sorry Rhett…that must’ve been so hard.
” My throat was tight, watching this incredibly strong man open up to me.
Rhett shakes his head, a humorless chuckle escaping his lips.
“It’s ironic, just as I was starting to get my freedom, about to have a summer of fun before leaving for school, everything fell apart.
But that was so long ago. It’s another lifetime, really. ”
I could never put myself in his shoes; to know what it was like losing a parent or having to pick up the pieces for your family. I had spent my life scrambling for my family's approval, only to be shoved to the side, feeling unwanted and yet on the hook, unable to free myself.
“Well, I hope you eventually had that fun and free summer.”
His heavy blue eyes lift to meet mine as we start to descend from the top of the Ferris wheel.
“I think I’m having it with you.”
If I wasn’t held in by a metal bar across my lap, I think I would float away into the night. I blink away tears I refuse to let him see, and lean into him, resting my head in the crook of his neck. I hold his hand in mine, choked by the words racing through my mind.
The Ferris wheel starts rising again and as the ground grows smaller, the tight pinch in my core never comes. I expel a breath, letting myself feel the truth. Right here, right now, with Rhett is the safest I’ve felt in a long time.
“What about your family?” he asks, breaking my trance.
“My family…you already know enough about them,” I chuckle dryly. “They are not like your family.”
Rhett pauses, a flash of confusion crossing his face. “Oh, how so?”
If he knew how my family looked at me, if he knew the expectations they held for me or anyone involved with me, I wonder what he’d think.
Or what he'd think of me if he knew how hard it was to shake the need to gain their approval. Maybe he’d feel inadequate or want to run away because the pressure is too much.
“They are all busy with their careers. We don’t do a lot as a family, not back then and not now. My parents like to pretend we are a tight family unit. The all-American picturesque family. It’s all a lie.” I bite my lip, hoping I didn’t say too much again.
“I’m sure they love you in their own way,” he says, and I didn’t disagree.
“I hope,” I add. They love me in a conditional way. How could I possibly explain they give or withhold their love depending on how successful I am, or by how much I’ve screwed up.
Rhett turns my face toward him again, his finger hooked under my chin.
I peered into what I was beginning to see were oceans of depth, of love, of understanding.
Underneath the rough exterior, the rowdy behavior, and the carefree attitude was a man who cared very much.
A man who barred his heart to me in the most unexpected ways.
“You know you deserve better than that, right?”
“How can you say that? You don’t know me very well.”
“You’re right, I don’t. But I do like to believe I’m a pretty good judge of character.”
I pause, as Rhett’s blue eyes lazily trace my lips, as I silently will him to kiss me. Lacing his fingers around the back of my neck, he kisses me deeply.
“You’re okay yourself, cowboy.”
I step off the ride minutes later, with a new energy buzzing through my veins.
The truth is, I have no idea what life will be like for me in a few months, but I know this summer, I'm going to embrace the carefree girl inside me—the one who longs to be loved, seen, and heard. I’ll let her have her moment.
And I’ll help Rhett have his, too. Because he deserves it, because we deserve it.
Maybe we can be each other's lifelines. Just for a while, until we find the shore.
Back at the farmhouse, the sky is black, but under the porch lights, Mabel greets us, tail wagging fiercely.
“Look what we got you, girl!” I pull the stuffed animal out from behind my back, and she stares at it, then me, her mouth opening and closing, unsure what to do. Rhett and I glance at each other laughing.
“She is cute as hell, but I never said she was smart,” Rhett fires off, kneeling down to ruffle her long, floppy ears.
“Don’t you listen to him, Mabel. You can be both smart and pretty.
Here, take the toy.” I gently nudge it towards her, and Mabel cautiously grabs it with her front teeth before galloping inside towards the living room.
We follow her in, watching her drop the toy in her bed, sniffing it feverishly like a true bloodhound.
“Did I ever tell you how I got Mabel?” Rhett asks, flipping on the small lamp on the kitchen counter as I trail behind him. We stand in dim lighting, heat lightning sparkling the sky outside the kitchen window.
“No, I don’t think so, actually.”
“She was being trained for the county as a search dog. But at around nine months, she didn’t pass her tests.
Guess she couldn’t stay focused on a scent long enough and just wanted to play.
Anyway, Desi is the secretary at the sheriff's office, so she found out about Mabel failing her tests. Next thing you know, Desi shows up at my house with this clumsy ass dog. I had no choice but to take her in.”
“Why didn’t she keep her for herself? I can’t imagine her little girls wouldn’t want a dog.” I try to imagine my own brother, Andrew, doing anything remotely thoughtful for me.
His fingers drummed the countertop in the dimly lit kitchen.
“I love my sister, but she likes to fix things. Things she has no business fixing…” Rhett pauses, puffing out his cheeks as he runs a hand through his hair.
“Her and my mom thought I would end up a lonely old man in this house. I kept refusing all the dates my sister was trying to set me up on, so I guess she thought the next best thing was to dump a dog on my doorstep.”
I scoff, running my fingers down the front of Rhett’s chest, watching his pupils dilate.
“I'm so glad she did. But also, I’d like to hear about all these dates you refused,” I muse but Rhett stands still with a dreamy smile on his lips, a depth in those icy eyes that makes the breath hitch in my chest.
“That’s the past.”
“So, you just decided you wanted to start dating when you met me?”
Rhett nods. “Pretty much.” He smirks. “And now I’m afraid you’re going to be the ruin of me.”
My lips twitch in a half smile, unsure how to respond to the twinge of sadness in his voice. Like he believes I will break his heart, like he expects it. But those thoughts dissipate quickly as he scoops me up by the waist, placing me on the island.
I gasp playfully as Rhett holds me tight, planting kisses down my neck in a way that tickles. Our chaos causes Mabel to fill the house with her howls.
The heat between us switches quickly, as I greedily unbutton Rhett's shirt, needing him closer to me. My heartbeat intensifies, desire building with every touch.
“I need you,” I whisper into his ear, his eyes grow hooded, and the world around us disappears.
Wanting fingers work at buttons and belts, the thud of jeans hitting the ground around Rhett’s ankles.
Rhett takes the hint, his soft lips nibbling little bites down my collar bone, pulling my yellow sundress over my head. I remembered to wear my matching black lacy set, and I mentally thank Penny for insisting I did.
I pause as the light ping of dropping rain starts above us, tilting my head back to look at the ceiling.
“It’s the tin roof. It’s loud when it rains,” Rhett says almost apologetically but I shake my head.
“I love it.”
And I do. And I love the way the dim lighting makes his eyes appear bluer, the way it feels like we are tucked away from the world; safe in this little kitchen, safe with each other.
“Where have you been all my life?” Rhett’s question catches me off guard, but I don’t have an answer. I’ve been chasing a lie, an illusion that would’ve never included him.
I tighten my legs around his waist and lean in to kiss his neck. He smells like the cedar wood filling his workshop and feels as unswayable as the old oaks in the front yard. Nudging my mouth back to his, I kiss him with a new lust, tasting the sweetness of him.
Rhett growls into my neck, his fingers circling my sensitive chest. When it’s clear neither of us can take another moment of torment, he lifts me off the kitchen island, and we move as one, inseparable, but we don’t make it to the bedroom.
Rhett pushes my back into the kitchen wall, and I smile as he bites my lip, feeling my walls come down even more.
All I can think about is getting closer, feeling him fill me, take me.
“Right here…I can’t wait any longer...”
Rhett does as I ask, setting me on my feet. The roughness of his hands pulling my panties down gingerly makes my skin tingle, and when he parts my legs with his, you can barely hear my gasp above the sound of the rain on the roof.
I try to stay upright, lacing my fingers through his messy, blonde hair.
“Harder…please…” The words shock me, even if they come naturally with Rhett.
I didn’t know you could feel so seen and so safe at the same time.
But with him, I do. He invites me to be uninhibited.
So, I dig my fingers into his biceps, and he wraps his large hands around my waist, intensifying his thrusts, supporting my weight against him.
He’s rough when needed and soft when I least expect it, a respite of warm water dripping onto the cold stone that my heart has become over the years.
“I could worship your body all night…” His voice is hoarse, and enough to push me over the edge.
A raspy gasp escapes me, pushing me to my limit until there’s nothing left to hold back. Throwing back my head, my eyes shut, I shudder around his length as he simultaneously comes into me. Rhett bites my bottom lip, returning me to him.
I feel Rhett everywhere. Every inch of my skin buzzes with him, with the warm embrace of his arms, the gentle but strong grasp of his hands on me. Reminding me he is here, holding me together, holding us together.
Us.
There’s that word again. There is no denying anymore there is an us.
Rhett’s blue eyes shine at me like he’s looking at the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
And in his eyes, I see a world I’d like to stay in just a little longer.