Chapter 5
IVY
M y phone rings next to me for the millionth time since I left Brooks’ apartment on Friday. Even though I’m 99 percent sure it’s him again, my fingers itch to flip it over and check on the off chance it’s Zoe or one of the dozen places I’ve applied at this week. Brooks has been incessant in his pursuit to talk to me. His phone calls and texts have been getting progressively more demanding and psychotic. After the barrage of phone calls and text messages the night I left him, I blocked his number. Now he just calls me from various work numbers and leaves voicemails. Giving in to the need to know who it is, I pick up my phone.
Missed Call
Unknown Number
Lovely. My phone chimes in my hand with an incoming text.
Unknown Number: You’re mine Ivy.
No the fuck I am not. How the knee to his undercarriage and me moving out of his apartment wasn’t a bright, flashing neon sign for this asshole is beyond me. Clearly he is absolutely delusional. At least he hasn’t shown up at Zoe’s. It would be hard not to reconsider beating him with a table lamp if that were the case.
Blocking the new number and putting my phone back down, I return to the computer to continue my job search. I’ve applied at every restaurant in the Downtown Seattle area whether they’re hiring or not, and I’m about to expand my search. I’m desperate. I know it’s only been a week, but I haven’t had any luck. I’ve worked so hard and love cooking so much. I really don’t want to have to go back to bartending. I want to run a kitchen. Needing to take a break, I pull up the fake social media account that I keep for random times I need to cyberstalk people.
Hello, Nora, no profile picture, thirty years old, from Ogunquit, Maine. I place my cursor in the search bar and hesitate. Do I really want to go down this rabbit hole? While I’ve stalked people for Zoe and myself before potential dates, mostly for her, I’ve never searched for anyone from Aspen Ridge. Leaving home was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. The pain of Sawyer’s betrayal, of leaving him and everything I’ve ever known, was too much to bear, and I haven’t been able to bring myself to look anyone up. Leaving Aspen Ridge right after I graduated high school changed me. All of the plans and dreams that were crushed in the wake changed the course of more than just my life. The pain was suffocating.
Like every day over the last two weeks, I raced home to check the mail. Admission letters were going out and I was still expecting letters from several schools. Sawyer had already been accepted to the University of Washington, his first choice. Which makes sense since it’s his parents’ alma mater. The look on his face was pure joy when he opened his acceptance, and then per usual, his focus shifted from himself to me.
“I know you’ll get in too. Then after our freshman year we’ll look for a little apartment together close to campus. I can’t wait to live with you, Ivy. Wake up to you every single day. We’ll finally be able to start our lives together.”
“I hope so. All of this hinges on me actually getting in, though.”
“You will. They’ll be lucky to have you. You worked hard.”
“I just want to be together.”
And I did. Sawyer was all I knew from the time I was eleven. When I was with him, nothing else in the world mattered. He was endgame for me. But that day, I received two admission letters. One to the University of Washington, and one to my dream culinary school in California. That was the first event that triggered the rapid spiral that led to me leaving Aspen Ridge for good.
I hover my cursor over the search bar, torn between curiosity and apprehension.
What if he’s married?
What if he has a family of his own?
My heart sinks into the acidic depths of my stomach, nausea rolling through me in waves.
I quickly slam my laptop shut and shove it to the side. Pulling my legs to my chest and dropping my head back onto the couch, I accept defeat. I don’t want to know. Call me a coward, but survival will make you do crazy things. And I’ve been in survival mode since the day I got on an airplane at SeaTac. Brooks was right about one thing, I am an ice queen. The pain would have swallowed me whole if I hadn’t shut off completely. If I can just hold it at bay and not allow myself the time to think, then I will be okay.
Because if I face it?
It will surely break me.
Needing to get out of Zoe’s apartment, I decide to walk around downtown and get a coffee. I thrived working the long hours that were required of me as a bartender, and then a chef. It kept my thoughts muted while I functioned in the hustle and bustle. Having nothing to keep me busy has given space to the unwanted thoughts that plague me.
I walk into the busy coffee shop and get in line. Even though I’ve lived in Seattle for the last six years, the city is suffocating. Compared to the open spaces, country dirt roads, and mountain air of Aspen Ridge, Seattle feels like a concrete wasteland that’s slowly caving in on me. It has its perks, sure. There’s always some place open to grab a bite to eat, coffee shops on every corner, vibrant culture, beautiful parks, buildings, and museums. But the past week, everything around me is getting louder and louder and I find myself craving the comfort of my old home.
I’m jerked from my thoughts when a firm hand slides around my waist and pulls me flush against a hard body.
“Don’t make a scene.” Brooks’ voice rings through my ears as he leans down and rubs his face into my hair. I cringe and do my best to step out of his space, but his hold around my waist is brutally tight. Alarm bells go off in my head.
“Let me go, Brooks,” I say through gritted teeth. I try to elbow him in the side as discreetly as possible.
“I told you already, my darling, never. Now let’s get some coffee and go home.”
“I’m not leaving with you, Brooks. Get. Your. Hands. Off. Me.” I enunciate every word as I do my best to squirm from his hold, but it only seems to strengthen him.
I start to panic and frantically look around the busy store. Everyone is looking down at their fucking phones, too busy wrapped up on their devices to notice that I’m right here being strongarmed into leaving with my possessive ex. Do I yell? Scream? What the fuck do I do?
The line moves forward and Brooks shuffles us ahead. I use his movement to my advantage and step down hard on his foot. His grip around my waist loosens just enough that I lurch myself forward into the customer ahead of me. We stumble a few paces and it gets me just far enough away from Brooks that he would have to forcibly remove me at this point. I’m not going to make this easy on him.
“I’m so sorry! I wasn’t paying attention and the man behind me bumped into me. I have a thing about men in my personal space and I pulled away too abruptly. Are you alright?” I say, my voice dripping with sweetness but laced with a twinge of fear.
The woman I bumped into looks old enough to be my mother. She scowls at Brooks before turning back to face me.
“It happens and I completely understand. Why don’t you go ahead of me and order and then we’ll sit together until you feel comfortable to leave.”
My face beams with gratitude. Thank you to the powers that be that this woman would understand. I chance a look back at Brooks and there is no hiding the furious look on his face. Fuck. I may have just pissed off the devil in disguise. Who is this man? When we were together he didn’t give off these psycho possessive vibes. I continue to be shocked that I was so blinded.
I order my coffee and offer to purchase my savior’s as well. I watch as Brooks leaves the shop and climbs into his car before speeding off.
As I’m waiting for our coffee order, my phone vibrates in my purse. I pull it out to more texts from Brooks.
Unknown: You’ll pay for that little stunt Ivy
Unknown: Think about embarrassing me again and I’ll make sure you regret it
Unknown: Come home.
The woman next to me lightly touches my arm to get my attention and I startle slightly, still shaken up.
“What’s your name, honey?” she asks me.
“Ivy.”
“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl. I’m Mabel. He wasn’t a stranger was he?”
We find our seats by a window looking out at the busy Seattle streets. I place my coffee down on the table before wringing my hands together in my lap nervously.
“No, ma’am. He’s my ex. I left him after he cheated on me and he is not happy, nor is he ready to let me go.”
“You did the right thing. Are you alright now? Do you need help or have someplace safe to go?”
Her words slice me open. Someplace safe to go. God, I’ve been holding it together for so long that I don’t know what that truly feels like anymore. The first thing that comes to mind is Aspen Ridge.
The next is Sawyer.
I have Zoe and I’m always welcome at her apartment, but I don’t want to make her uncomfortable or put her in an unsafe position. And I can’t stay there much longer, sleeping on her couch and taking over her space.
Someplace safe.
“Yes. I do. I’m spending the night with a friend tonight and tomorrow I am heading home. I’m safe there.”
“Good. Remember that you’re stronger than him. Women always are. We’re underestimated, but that just gives us an edge.”
Decision made, I thank her and go back to Zoe’s to break the news to my best friend that we’ll be spending some time apart while I go hide out in Aspen Ridge, lick my wounds in the fresh mountain air, and hopefully change my circumstances.
I just hope that I survive returning home.