Chapter 30
IVY
I wake up sometime later, the sun barely starting to peek over the mountains, not quite casting a glow into the bedroom. Sawyer leisurely licks between my folds like he has all the time in the world. My hips thrust up, wanting more. This is the second time since last night that he’s woken me up to take me again. The first time he took me on our sides, entering me from behind with his thick, hard cock. He started by making love to me slowly, kissing my shoulder and whispering naughty things in my ear before his control snapped and he flipped me onto my knees, pounding into my pussy ruthlessly and with abandon. This time, though, I woke to his face between my legs, licking and kissing my center.
“Please, Sawyer.”
“Feeling needy, baby?”
“Please!” I arch into him again, trying to get him closer to where I need him the most.
He flattens his tongue, licking me from entrance to clit, slowly, methodically. He eats me hungrily like I’m his favorite meal.
“Please. Please, Sawyer!”
“So impatient.”
In a move that seemed practiced and must come from years of wrestling, Sawyer flips onto his back and pulls me on top of him, thighs on either side of his head.
“Take your pleasure then, baby. Use me.”
I don’t hesitate to comply. With Sawyer’s hands on my waist, I sit down and press my pussy right to his perfect, waiting mouth. His tongue delves right into my core, fucking in and out of me while I rock my hips back and forth.
“Oh fuck, yes!” My moans echo off the walls around us.
His grip on me tightens, forcing me to sit down further. The rough stubble on his face elicits the most delicious pain mixed with the pleasure he’s giving me. I rock back and forth, chasing my impending orgasm. It builds quickly, a fire in the pit of my stomach that spreads out across my body. I arch forward and brace myself over his head with my palms on the mattress as he devours my pussy through my orgasm, pulling every bit out of me. My body convulses, the violent waves pulsing through me.
Ecstasy.
That’s what this euphoric feeling was. Pure, unfiltered ecstasy.
I feel the warmth leak out of me and Sawyer moans, flattening his tongue again and taking one last slow lick up my center, gathering my moisture and pulling it into his mouth.
He flips me onto my side and lays next to me, the evidence of my orgasm on his glistening face.
“Fuck, you’re delicious.”
He kisses me then, the taste of me on his tongue. I roll him to his back before sliding down his body, kissing every hard ridge of his toned stomach. Grabbing his thick, hard cock with my hand, wanting nothing more than to taste him right now, I lick him from base to tip before swirling my tongue around his engorged, mushroom head. A bead of precum leaks from his slit and I lick it away with my tongue, moaning at the heady taste of him.
“Suck it, baby. Please.”
His hips jerk forward and I don’t waste any more time before taking him all the way to the back of my throat. I keep him there for a moment, trying to take him deeper, before sucking all the way back up and repeating the motion. His hand moves to the back of my head, just resting there, allowing me to do all the work. I suck him hard, taking him as deep as I can go and gagging around his thick length. Tears spill from my eyes, but his moans are all I need to keep going. Wetness pools between my legs, and even though I just came minutes ago, my core aches to be filled with him again. I moan around him and he thrusts his hips up, forcing him impossibly deep. I pull back and grip his length tighter with my hand, working my mouth and fist in tandem, up and down.
“That’s it, baby. You’re doing so well. Fuck, that feels so good.”
His hips move of their own accord, thrusting and pushing his cock down my throat further. I hum around him in appreciation. I love being able to make him lose control like this.
“Fuck, yeah. Don’t stop. So fucking good, Ivy.”
I reach my other hand around to grab his balls, rolling them gently in my hand and stroking the soft skin behind them.
“Ohhhh Fuuuuuuuuuck. Ivy, I’m coming!”
He explodes, his hips quake as he stills completely, his cock pulsing in my mouth as ropes of cum shoot down my throat. I suck him hard, milking every bit from him, and pulling off of him with a pop, loving the taste.
I sit up on my knees next to him, his cock softening against his abdomen. I wipe my fingers across my lips and smile widely.
“Need me to wipe that smug look off of your face, baby?”
He grabs me around the waist, hauling me next to him, our naked bodies sated for now. He tucks me in tightly to him, wrapping his arms completely around me, my head resting on his muscular bicep.
“It’s different from what I remembered.”
“Well, we’re not teenagers anymore,” I say with a little laugh. He swats at my ass before returning to hold me close, his fingers rubbing lightly up and down my back, goosebumps trailing in the wake.
“That’s not what I mean. It’s always been intense, more than sex with you. But now? I still feel like I’m on borrowed time, Iv. Like I need to savor every second and it’s still not enough.”
I look up at him, my fingers tracing the features of his face, committing them to memory. His blue eyes have slowly come back to life but the fear of losing me is still there. I gently lay a kiss to his swollen lips, closing my eyes and breathing him in.
“I’m not leaving,” I say with as much conviction as I can muster. My mother’s voice no longer a lingering presence in my head.
“I never should have run, Sawyer. I knew it the moment I left, but I was so confused. It still hurts to think about my mom.”
“Does it hurt to lay here with me knowing it’s not what she wanted for you?”
“No,” I answer without hesitation. “The moment you showed up at my parents’ house and scooped me up into your arms, I was home. I’ve been floating around the last ten years, unhappy and unsure, lost. Seeing you? Being in Aspen Ridge? It grounded me. My mom thought she knew what would make me happy because of her fear, and I know she loved me so much, Sawyer, but the dreams she had for herself aren’t my own.”
“What are yours?” His fingers are still sliding up and down my back, bringing me so much comfort from just his touch.
“This. Going to the Culinary Institute was the right choice, but I know now you would have supported me and we would have figured it out. But this?” I wave my hand between the small space between us. “This is my dream. A life with you, Aspen Ridge, Grace Beach, the overcast skies and mountain air, a lot of babies, cooking.”
“I want to give you all of that, Ivy. I always have. I love you. I’ve never stopped. Not for a moment.”
“I love you too.”
He rolls me onto my back and my legs spread wide for him.
“How about we work on that baby part? And then after we go to Grace Beach and try again there.”
He makes good on his promise. He takes me once more in the bed, again in his arms, shortly after with my back against the tile of his shower, and twice more later in the day bent over a cold, dead piece of driftwood with nothing but the waves crashing and birds chirping around us.
“You ready for this? It’s gonna be a madhouse, you remember, right?”
“Oh, I remember. The five of you? Plus whatever friends you all would bring. Your poor mother. She’s a saint.”
“She is. How are you feeling?” His eyes dance over my face, looking for any clue of panic. His concern isn’t misplaced. While his siblings have been nothing but welcoming, I have yet to see his mom. I’m filled with nerves but not panic. My memories of his mother have been carefully preserved. I wouldn’t allow myself to envision the hatred she could hold for me for how badly I destroyed her child. She was a second mother to me. Sometimes my only mother when mine was too depressed to get out of bed. I’ve missed her warmth, her smile, and her love. This is the last hurdle for me to get over. After everything I’ve been through, I know it won’t break me if she’s cold, it’s justified. Part of me welcomes it. Sawyer accepted me back as if I hadn’t ripped his heart out in the most brutal way. I haven’t paid any penance and I anticipate it; it’s deserved.
I put on a pair of dark denim jeans and pair them with a white pocket tee and my favorite pair of brown booties. I braid my long hair off to the side so that the wind doesn’t completely destroy it on the back of Sawyer’s bike, and add minimal makeup. I’m looking in the mirror, giving myself a silent pep talk when Sawyer walks into the bathroom behind me.
“Hi, butterfly.”
“Hi.”
I lean forward and put on a few coats of mascara before meeting his eyes in the mirror.
“You look gorgeous.”
I roam over his appearance in the mirror. He’s wearing a button-up shirt with the sleeves cuffed up to his elbows, and a pair of jeans that hug him perfectly. His hair is styled on the top, and he’s cleaned up his beard to a perfect scruff that begs for my touch.
“Not too bad yourself, handsome. I’m ready if you are.”
“Let’s go, baby. You’ve got this.”
We pull up to Sawyer’s parents’ house and I wait in the passenger seat of his truck for him to open my door, something I’ve learned he likes to do. I think it’s just an excuse to touch me more but I’m not complaining. Once I’m righted on my feet in front of Sawyer, I reach for his free hand instead of wringing mine together like a nervous wreck. He settles me, calms all of my fear and anxieties, and brings me a peace I had long forgotten existed.
He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses the top of it. His parents’ house is exactly how I remembered it. Instead of sitting further into the woods like Sawyer’s, or surrounded by trees like my parents’ house, Craig and Amy Hayes’ home sits all by itself in the middle of a wide-open space, wild lupines growing as far as you can see. The backyard hosts a custom-built table that sits well over a dozen. Their deeply rooted Sunday dinner tradition centers around that table until the winter months force them inside. We make our way to the steps of the porch when Amy swings open her front door and steps out. She’s aged, sure, but she is still absolutely stunning. A life spent surrounded by her loved ones, being adored by a man who puts her at the center of his world, and living out her life exactly how she wants to. She’s the picture of happiness.
“Ivy Paige.”
“Ms. Amy,” I say with a hesitant smile. Sawyer squeezes my hand in reassurance, a silent reminder to trust him and to breathe.
I take the last step up the porch where she meets me and wraps her arms tightly around my shoulders.
“Welcome home, honey.”
I sob into her. My chest heaving.
“Absolutely no crying. This is a happy thing! You’re home. I’m so happy to see you. Look at you!” She holds me away from her and looks me over in such a motherly way.
I let a small laugh loose and she swipes her thumbs under my eyes.
“I’m okay. I just missed you.”
“Oh honey, I missed you too. We’ve always loved you like one of our own and I’m so happy to see you again. Right now there’s a houseful of people waiting to be fed, so let’s get in there before they start to riot.”
“That sounds great, yes please.”
Sawyer recaptures my hand and together we walk into his childhood home with his entire family and friends waiting.
“Look who it is! Glad you two could leave the bedroom long enough to join us,” Dallas announces as we walk into the kitchen. Sawyer smacks him on the back of his head which causes Dallas to laugh. I know my cheeks have flamed a bright crimson.
“Dallas, don’t even start. Do you two have to be so feral? Ivy, I tried my hardest, but these two are thicker than rocks. I apologize for their behavior.”
I laugh out loud, and it makes my chest feel so much lighter.
“Oh, I remember.”
“Mom, Ivy made this. Want me to leave it in here or bring it out back?” Sawyer holds out the pan containing the apple frangipane tart I made.
“It smells delicious, Ivy, thank you. You can leave it in here. Go. Go say hi to everyone.”
“C’mon, let’s go see everyone out back,” Sawyer says as he pulls me to follow him.
We walk through their home, and I stop at every photo on the wall, memories of our childhood hung everywhere. Sawyer and his siblings growing up, their faces throughout different stages that I remember so clearly. I stop at one that takes my breath away. Sitting on the mantel above their fireplace is a photo of Sawyer and I. We’re sitting on some driftwood at Grace Beach after Sawyer brought me out to surf for the first time. I remember being terrified.
“Do you trust me?”
“Sawyer, you know I do. But this isn’t me. This is you! And you’re out of your mind. That water is freezing! Even with a wet suit.”
“I would never let anything happen to you, Iv. Pull up the suit and get your ass over here,” he says with a smirk, knowing full well I’ll listen.
He watches me as I shimmy my body into the wetsuit and push my arms through. He walks up to me, eyes never leaving my chest, and bats my hands away from the zipper. He pulls it up until right over my breasts before hauling it in his direction. I stumble forward, colliding with him before looking up and smiling ear to ear.
“You look so good, you know that right?” I laugh at him with an eye roll before pushing him in the chest to shove him away. I finish zipping up my suit and watch as Sawyer grabs his surfboard and heads back to me, determination written all over his face. He clasps my hand tightly in his before dragging me begrudgingly into the water.
“Shit! Shit! Shit! Sawyer!!” I screech. It’s mid-June but the water this far north is still cold, it’s not the Arctic but damn near close as far as I’m concerned. Sawyer turns to face me, putting his back to the waves crashing not far from us.
“Iv, it’s not that bad, you’ll get used to it. Trust me?”
“Okay, okay. I’ve got this.”
“You do. I’ve got you if you don’t. You’re going to love it.”
Sawyer’s hand on my back breaks me of the memory.
“You remember that day?” he asks.
“Of course I do. I was terrified, you pushed me out of my comfort zone, and I ended up loving it. I did not love freezing in the water though.”
“I warmed you up after, didn’t I?” He winks before pulling me outside where the rest of his family is congregating.
This man is going to be the death of me.