Chapter 50
IVY
S awyer encouraged me to take the week off of work, and even though I haven’t been there long, everyone understood. He’s been working from home and been by my side since we left the hospital. It’s been three days since everything blew up at my parents’ house. My throat feels a million times better, thanks to all the tea and ibuprofen. My bruises are a nasty purple-green that Sawyer gently kisses every chance he gets. That night is a memory I’d much rather forget. Luckily, and I use that term loosely, neither Sawyer nor Reid were charged with Brooks’ death. It was deemed self-defense and really couldn’t be disputed with the attempted kidnapping with a deadly weapon, as well as the bruises on both Sawyer and myself. It was all surprisingly hush-hush. I haven’t asked for details. I do my best not to give what happened to me thought or I’ll spiral. The reality of how close I came to almost losing everything rocks me to my core. But the events really set in stone what I want in life. I had already known I could never leave Sawyer again after being back and feeling the peace that came along with it. After spending so many years holding it together, the last thing I want is space from Sawyer.
It took me ten long years of fear, a controlling, abusive ex-boyfriend, and my life falling apart, but I found my way back and now I can focus on creating the life I always wanted. Living for myself without considering the expectations placed on me by anyone else is new, and I’m learning, but Sawyer helps. He encourages me to do what will make me happy, whatever that may be, as long as it’s my choice. Working as the executive chef and running my own kitchen at Barrel House has given me more purpose. The noise of the controlled kitchen chaos, sizzling pans, and clattering utensils used to drown out the fear and pain. Now it fills me with peace and excitement. It’s been a long road to get to where I am, living a life for myself and chasing dreams that make me happy. I’m just grateful to be here. Any lingering hesitations or anxiety I felt over being back in Aspen Ridge disappeared when Brooks attempted to kidnap me and take me from it.
“Hey, butterfly,” Sawyer says next to me, holding my phone out in his hand. “It’s Zoe. You ready to talk? I can’t hold her back much longer.”
“Shit. Yeah, hand it here.” I take the buzzing phone from him with a grateful smile.
“I’ll give you two some time to talk. I love you.” He leans down and kisses my forehead and then my cheek before leaving and closing the door behind him. I swipe up to answer her video call.
“Since when do we ignore each other? I don’t care what is going on, you do not ignore me, Ivy Paige! Oh, baby, look at your face! That son of a bitch, if he wasn’t already dead I swear I’d fuckin’ kill him myself!”
“Breathe, psycho. I’m sorry. I’ve been sleeping a lot.”
“Sawyer has been sending me proof of life, I forgive you. I still can’t believe everything that happened. Are you okay?”
“Getting better every day.”
“Good. That man of yours is probably helping and mother-henning the shit out of you.”
“You have no idea. He was protective before Brooks tried to kidnap and hurt me, but now? Fuck. I have to fight him out of the bathroom just so I can pee alone. I’m surprised he left the room to let us talk.”
“But damn if he doesn’t love you fiercely, babe.”
“He really does. When can I see you again?”
“Ugh. Soon! But not soon enough. Work is ridiculous this time of year but I’ll be up next weekend.”
“Good. I love you, ZoZo.”
“I love you too!”
The rest of the week passes in a blur. We settle into a routine like two people who’ve known and loved each other all their lives. It’s easy and I’m thriving. We eat enough apple cinnamon muffins to make up for the time I lost. When I asked him why he still chooses to eat them, he gave me the same answer as the first time I asked. “It’s a part of you that I can have whenever I want.”
I’m having coffee on the outdoor couch with my feet in Sawyer’s lap, our simple morning routine that I’ve come to love so much. It’s mid-October and the chill in the air is present. Fog stretches across the land in front of us, blocking our view of the mountains that rest off in the distance. Sawyer reaches forward and sets his mug down on the table. “Iv. We haven’t really decided how to move forward, and I just want to make sure we’re on the same page. You’ve been staying here since you got back in town, but I need to hear what that means for you and for us. I haven’t wanted to put pressure on you, baby, but I need to know. With words.”
He hides his insecurities so well, but I should know better. I should know to give him more reassurance and I’ve been so blinded by everything else going on around me that I’ve failed him in that way.
“I’m staying in Aspen Ridge if that’s what you’re asking.” He sighs and there’s no mistaking the relief written all over his face.
“That’s good. But what about everything else? I want you here, Ivy. In our house. In our bed. I want all of this”—he motions around in front of us—“to be ours. I told you, I’m all in. I need to know where you’re at. Are you going to find your own place?”
I smile so big that it hurts my cheeks before responding.
“This”—I copy his motion of pointing everything out around us—“is what I want. I’m sorry for assuming and not talking about it. I want a life with you, it’s what I’ve always wanted, and nothing is going to get in our way this time.”
“Fuck yes, Ivy. I needed to hear you say that,” he says.
“Like you said, this thing between us is real. We both feel it. We’ve always felt it and there’s no point in ever trying to fight it. I wouldn’t want to anyway.”
“God, I love you.”
“I stopped taking my birth control,” I confess.
His eyes shoot up to me. “When?”
“The night we had sex again for the first time. You asked me to be all in. I’m all in.”
He moves so fast it catches me off guard. He pulls my coffee mug from my hand and sets it roughly on the table, sloshing coffee everywhere, before yanking the blankets off of me and roughly pulling my panties down my legs.
“Sawyer!” I yelp. “Shit, I think you might have a breeding kink.” He leans forward, kissing my neck and palming my breast as he drags my ass to the edge of the couch and pulls down his sweatpants, freeing his already hard dick. He pushes two fingers into my core and I moan in response.
“Does that mean I want to pump you so full of my cum that there’s no chance you won’t get pregnant?”
“Yeah, kinda.”
“Then yeah, sounds like I do.” He continues to fuck me with his fingers, pushing them in deep and curling them up, making my head spin. “So wet. So perfect. Now relax and let me put a baby in you.”
I laugh at him as he lines himself up and sinks into me. The world around us melts away just as it always has when we’re together.
“Hi, butterfly.” I look up from my Kindle to find Sawyer standing in the doorway of our bedroom, his arms straining against the fabric of his button-up shirt. He’s so handsome and my heart beats rapidly at the sight.
“Hi.”
“How about a ride on the bike?”
“Yes, please.” I toss off the blankets and close my Kindle.
I climb onto the back of the bike, wrapping my arms right around his waist and feeling the rumble of the engine come to life underneath us. We ride casually through Aspen Ridge, the wind in our faces and the scenery blurring past. As he pulls into the small parking lot of Grace Beach, complete peace washes over me. This place has always held a special place in my heart, and being here with Sawyer always makes it that much more magical and serene. We get off and rest our helmets on the bike before walking across the rocky coastal beach, the twigs and rocks crunching under our boots. The cloud coverage is sparse, the sun doing its best to peek through them. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath of the fresh salty sea air, and truly feel free. In this moment, nothing else matters except the sound of the waves crashing against the rocky shore and the warmth of his body against mine. Sawyer releases me and I hear him take a step back. I open my eyes to reach for him and find him down on one knee with a small black velvet box in his hands. My knees immediately drop to the ground to look at his gorgeous face straight on.
“You are the only girl I have ever and will ever love. From the moment you walked into our classroom on the first day of sixth grade, I knew I had found my person. We didn’t know it then, but I handed over my heart that day and I’ve been wholly yours ever since. No amount of time could ever change what’s between us and I’d like the rest of our lives to prove it to you. Baby, I love you so much. Will you marry me?”
“Yes! Yes. Always yes.” I grab his face in my hands, his skin cold from the chilly weather, his stubble rough on my palms, and pull his face to meet mine. I kiss him hard, our tongues racing to meet. There’s no finesse, just that passion between us that goes from zero to sixty in a moment. He releases me much too soon and grabs my left hand, sliding the ring onto my finger. I look down at the beautiful oval solitaire diamond sitting on a simple, thin, yellow gold band and my mouth drops open at the stunning simplicity of it. It’s breathtaking. “Sawyer, this is the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen.”
“I’m so glad you love it, baby,” he says as I look up from my ring to find him staring at me.
Overcome with emotion, I kiss him again, both of us kneeling on the cold ground in my favorite place in the world. I kiss him like I always have, like he’s the only person in the world who’s ever known and loved all of me.
“Take me home.”