Chapter 15 Lily
LILY
THREE DAYS AGO
The arrivals board flickers above me, air carriers and flight numbers updating constantly and flickering on the screen. My suitcase hits my ankle and my hands wrap around the coffee cup I’ve been nursing for an hour.
If I stave off sleeping, I’ll be able to combat the jet lag a little better.
Italy.
I’m finally here. No more planning or cooking casseroles or writing notes to my mother-in-law about who needs to be where and when . . . it’s finally here.
And if I do say so myself, the dress I have on accents the things Anderson has always liked about my body. I can’t wait to see his reaction when he gets off his flight from London.
Luckily his work trip took him there so it was only a quick jaunt over to Rome.
My phone buzzes in my hand. Anderson. He must have landed. Relief floods me.
“Hey,” I say smiling. “Are you through customs yet?”
There’s a pause. A hesitation that twists my stomach.
“Lil . . . I’m not there.” His voice is quiet. Careful. “There was a fire at the plant. I can’t get away. I already have a flight booked to Belgium to deal with the issue.”
The words hit hard and with devastation. I stare at the families all around me, reuniting with hugs and laughter, while I stand here without panties on beneath my dress hoping to spark some life in my marriage.
My chest hollows out.
“You’re not coming?” My voice sounds fragile. Like I’m about to break.
“I know I’m making a choice right now and the one I’m making is going to hurt you. I’m sorry and I swear, Lily, I swear I’ll make it up to you.” His words tumble fast, urgent. Like if he stacks enough apologies together, they’ll hold.
“Anderson—”
“I love you. You and the boys are my world. I know me cancelling doesn’t make you feel that, and it makes me hate my job and wish it had less responsibility, less travel .
. . and maybe I need to consider changing companies.
” My jaw falls lax at his words. Anderson’s job is so much a part of who he is as a person.
““I heard you, Lil. I know I’ve been letting and am currently letting you down. But I’ll make this anniversary trip and everything else I’ve been lacking in up to you.
I promise. I just hope you can forgive me. That it’s not too late for you to.”
I close my eyes, the burn of tears hot against my lids. The airport noise swells around me, but all I can hear is the empty space beside me.
I want to believe him. God, I want to.
But the saddest part is, I know if I do, I’ll just be let down again.