Chapter 12
Davian
The System Error
Two Sides Of The Same Coin
Carlos Rafael Rivera
Mentally insane. That had to be what I had become, because the fact that I had almost slept with a girl my daughter's age not only felt criminal, but disturbed me in a way that made me doubt my sanity.
I tried desperately not to see Quill as the young, intelligent woman I had opened up to, as if there hadn't been even a year's difference in age between us, but I failed.
Quillon Veritas was the epitome of incomparable. A rare jewel, worn down – by God knows what experiences – among a thousand identical-looking diamonds. She was striking. Memorable.
Nineteen.
The urge to take a big gulp of the whiskey Joseph had filled to the brim, as if he too were not quite himself, made me set the glass down audibly on the sideboard before I began pacing back and forth in front of the window, staring down at the large campus park where some of the students were hanging out.
Of course I was looking for her.
What a clingy fool I was.
I should have let her go, and I definitely intended to.
It was ridiculous that my heart was pounding like that of an excited schoolboy at the thought that I hadn't lost her, that I would see her every week in my lecture. But that was exactly the problem.
How could I get her out of my head? How? Because there was no reason to be happy. No good consequence of her staying here.
Torture. That's what I would get for not asking her age when it had been crucial.
Now she was in my head, and as if that wasn't stressful enough, she also was now getting herself into trouble.
Enrolling at Maplecrest? What was she thinking? Had her parents forced her into it? Was that why she had wanted to jump?
Goddamn it. She had wanted to jump, and I, the one who had wanted to be there for her, had coldly rejected her.
I could have slapped myself for how I had treated her. This woman deserved to be handled with kid gloves. Just not by me.
The way she had taken my hand in hers. That feeling...
I took a deep breath, glad that the other men were all busy with themselves since Troy had entered the professors' lounge and unleashed his unfounded frustration.
Oh, how I wish I could have watched her expose him in his own lecture. None of the male students had dared to do that before.
But it worried me that Arnold also seemed to have a problem with her. What if he kicked her out? What if that would be the final straw for her?
If I hadn't scraped all my feelings out of my voice for a moment, I would have succumbed to her tears, taken her in my arms, and told her that everything was okay.
I wasn't angry, not even disappointed.
She had lied because she had needed someone who wouldn't leave her behind. She had thought I would reject her on that bridge, like some ignorant egoist, and I didn't even want to know how many people had already abandoned her in difficult situations that she was so afraid of it.
With every minute that passed, rejecting her weighed heavier and heavier on me. It had been wrong. Stupid and selfish.
I had to find her and talk to her, make sure I hadn't hurt her. But that wasn't an option. I had to keep my distance until my head had filed her away as a student and I no longer woke up from dreams in which I did more than just slide my fingers into her dripping pussy.
I clenched my teeth until it hurt.
Distance was the only sensible solution.
She would be fine without me. I was nobody important and could only ensure that she got through her studies here undisturbed and wasn't targeted by my colleagues.
Playing Mr. Ganz
Carlos Rafael Rivera
The double doors flew open and Troy entered again, slamming his clenched fist on the table.
That was exactly what it took to shift my focus to my anger toward him.
The way that filthy bastard had touched her...
I would have gladly snapped his neck.
“We have a problem!” he blurted out, and his father sat down in a chair at the end of the egg-shaped mahogany table. “How could this happen?!”
He looked at Anthony, who entered the room behind him and closed the double doors, as if he had paid a woman to enroll here just to annoy him.
Tony had set many things in motion to make Maplecrest a more liberal place and to support students in need, but something like this had not been on his how-to-upset-Troy-next agenda until now.
“I have nothing to do with Ms. Veritas showing up!” my friend pressed out, his shirt collar crooked under his green sweater, as it often was.
He seemed more tense than usual, glancing at me briefly before seeking Joseph’s gaze.
The two stared at each other for an unusually long time, as if they thought the other had something to do with Quill's appearance.
I raised both eyebrows, but the two were too preoccupied with each other.
Joseph looked paler than usual.
“Quillon Veritas?” Thadd?us laughed and sipped his whiskey. “That name alone is a mockery.”
He seemed the most relaxed of everyone present and would probably start sucking up to Arnold again any minute, as he was so fond of doing.
“Who the hell is this girl?” Arnold asked tensely, as if the devil himself had sent her.
Joseph took an even bigger sip of his whiskey.
What was wrong with him?
“Her parents are from Canada.” Troy threw an open file on the table, and her photo slipped out. “There's nothing in the files except her birth record.”
Joseph and Tony's eyes were fixed on the picture, and I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something they weren't saying.
What if Tony had had a hand in this after all? What if Joseph had advised him against something, but he had done it behind his back anyway?
“How could this happen?! Who did she have her interview with?”
We were all randomly assigned applicants to review after they had made it through the official selection committee.
The double doors flew open and we all looked up as Monica walked in with her head held high, ignoring – as she often did – the fact that Arnold didn't tolerate her in this room because she wasn't one of his critically selected six-man board.
“She interviewed with me, and if any of you scare this girl away from this faculty, I will feel obligated to inform the Ethics Committee.”
Thadd?us almost choked on his whiskey and quickly set it down on the mantelpiece, and I found it difficult to suppress my proud smile, even though I already had a stomachache from the whole day.
Arnold's withering gaze spoke volumes. He regretted hiring her.
Monica had taken advantage of this moment of weakness and worked her way up. And today, she seemed to want to go on the offensive.
She often said that her goal was to become an equal opportunities officer. What if she was behind Quill's appearance?
“Are you aware, Ms. Berger, that all eyes will be on this girl?” Arnold rose, pushed back his chair, and began pacing back and forth with the help of his walking stick.
“If what Troy says is true, and she’s the provocative type, she could quickly ruin the reputation of our faculty.
” He snorted morosely. “And I won't let some girl trample all over what I've worked for for decades.”
“I agree with Arnold,” Thadd?us cleared his throat, and Monica laughed dryly.
Of course you do, Thadd?us.
Troy looked triumphantly between Monica and Tony, but they both ignored him completely.
“Joseph,” Monica turned to her former friend with a serious expression. “Please explain to these gentlemen that this attitude is backward and that it will only have positive consequences when women finally attend this department.”
Joseph stared at Arnold’s untouched whiskey glass, which was still on the table.
“Arnold is right.”
I raised both eyebrows.
“What?” Monica gasped.
“That girl is an incalculable risk.”
Joseph had never made disparaging comments about women, but neither had I ever heard him speak well of any except Brittany.
Every man with a daughter should have a profound reason to care about women's rights.
So I had assumed that, for once, he would agree with Monica and appease Arnold. This was unexpected.
Monica looked at Tony as if she needed him on the battlefield, but her usually combative front man seemed to be frozen in place, so she looked at me. Her backup plan.
I cleared my throat, ready to defend Quill, because if Arnold and Troy wanted to get rid of her and succeeded, it would be a huge setback for Maplecrest and for everything Tony and Monica had worked for.
“We should give her a chance.” That was an understatement, but when you had to deal with two sides every day, you quickly learned to choose your words carefully. “She wasn't provocative or disruptive in my lecture.”
“Oh, maybe because she left right at the beginning?”
That was precisely one of the reasons I had to stay away from her. My colleagues were lurking around every corner, and Troy was just waiting for an opportunity to get me fired.
I stared at him warningly, and it was his good fortune that there was a table between us.
“She wasn't feeling well. Probably because you bullied her during your lecture. Not to mention that you cornered her in private and threatened her!”
“You did what?!”
Anthony's gaze shot up from the tabletop to Troy.
“She crossed every line! Someone had to show her her place.”
Thadd?us refilled his glass and poured Joseph another drink. The latter stared into the void as if he weren’t even there.
“What the…,” Anthony stepped forward, but Joseph broke out of his trance and grabbed him by the arm.
“Anthony. Let it go.”
Joseph's gaze was less commanding, more desperate.
It had been a long time since I had seen Anthony so enraged. He looked as if he wanted to raze Troy to the ground.
“This behavior is unacceptable, Troy!” Monica blurted out, but she sounded more controlled than Tony.
“I agree,” I added firmly, before making tense eye contact with Arnold. “A chance like everyone else here gets. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”
Returning To Methuen
Carlos Rafael Rivera
Only after the door to the professors' lounge was thirty feet out of reach did Monica begin to vent her frustration.
“We're the last law school in Virginia that doesn't have a quota for women.” We turned the corner in unison. “This girl is a godsend. A miracle.”
A miracle. Oh, how right you are, Monica. Only two encounters with Quill and she had opened my eyes, but the truth hurt too much to allow this miracle a place in my life.
“Whatever is going on with Anthony today, I hope to have him on my side.”
Like Monica, I would have expected Tony to show more enthusiasm. He often mentioned how much it bothered him that only men studied here.
“If we already have Joseph against us, for whatever reason.”
The concern in Monica's voice was impossible to ignore, and I knew that when she got home, she would come up with a battle plan that Troy would never be able to counter.
Normally, at least, when Arnold wasn't on his side because he wasn't interested in his son. But this...
I prayed to a non-existent God that Quill would take her studies seriously and not continue to attract attention, even though Troy was in dire need of any provocative criticism from students.
But what had motivated her to study this? Law? A question that weighed heavier with every passing hour since I knew she was here.
As someone whose creativity had long since faded, who had had to take this path in life as a last resort, I was reluctant to watch another author make the same mistake. There was a great risk that this course of study would take away the passion that was obviously raging within her.
Many of the students were here because their parents expected them to be.
The pressure was high. Added to this was the competitive mentality and nasty manipulation among each other.
You only knew who your allies were after graduation.
Before that, you could never know which of your closest friends would stab you in the back the next moment, just because you were an obstacle on their steep career ladder.
The best thing Quill could do was to stay away from her fellow students, even though loners had the hardest time here. She was smart, and if she had made it through the interviews, then she stood a realistic chance.
I took a deep breath before pressing my lips together.
I already missed her again. How was I supposed to endure this, and how was I supposed to suppress my long-trained rationality over the emotions that tended to rage strongly in my chest?
“I'm really proud of you, Davian.” Confused, I looked at Monica, who lowered her voice slightly. “I have a feeling we're on the verge of a significant turning point. Thanks to you and the fact that you gave this girl a chance in the interview.”
What a mere drop of ink on a seemingly
immaculate white sheet of paper could trigger.
– Leaking Batteries Diary