Chapter 20
Davian
Battle Plans
Playing Townes
Carlos Rafael Rivera
Ever since we knew each other, Tony and I spent almost every morning jogging for an hour along the paths of Maplecrest, surrounded by quiet, well-kept parks.
Back then, getting up early had helped me kill my nighttime urge to write. Now, it was part of a sluggish routine that I only liked because it helped us keep our friendship alive during hectic times.
A friendship that would most likely remain intact anyway – I hoped – because Tony was good at dragging me to the gym, showing up spontaneously at my doorstep in the evening with a damn bottle of Scotch, or, as now, finding me on campus.
As we strolled together through the campus parks dotted with apricot-colored roses and white tulips – unusual for the season – during our break, he ranted about how Troy was terrorizing the students with his five-point plan and how the Ethics Committee was too afraid of Arnold to support Monica in her proposal to increase the percentage of women studying at Maplecrest.
I really tried to stay on topic, but my thoughts kept slipping back to her.
“You're a good father, Davian.”
She didn't know me, but she obviously knew Lara well enough to say something like that. And it broke me, because she had probably put two and two together and knew that I had almost abandoned Lara back then. And yet she said something like that.
I ignored the uncomfortable feeling in the back of my mind that wanted me to dwell on the fact that I had almost let my daughter down again.
I was sure I had raised Lara to be a strong girl. She had Monica, Tony, Quill...
My jaw tensed because no matter what I thought about, she was in my head. And my sinful, disturbing, late-night attempt to get her out of there had made it worse.
“What's on your mind?”
Returning To Methuen
Carlos Rafael Rivera
Avoiding this question with another truth was the only option, because if Tony found out that I had jerked off to a student, he would probably not only be disturbed, but our friendship could also be on the brink of collapse.
Tony was committed to fighting sexual violence against children through generous donations to charities, constantly telling me that the world was full of sick pedophiles whom he – it should be noted – had been eager to bring to justice and then put behind bars.
Quill was an adult woman, but the unfortunate fact that she had turned out to be my student and that she was the same age as my daughter would deeply shock Tony.
I still didn't want to believe it myself, even though I had had enough time to process the plot twists of the last few days.
“Joseph stared at the new female student as if he suddenly has a problem with women.”
My voice was as tense as my jaw.
Normally, my mentor was a man who didn't let on when he didn't like something. He was someone who had outdated views, but he didn't impose them on anyone, and he certainly didn't act on them.
His facial expression earlier had been devastating. I had never seen him so cold.
Had he just gotten up on the wrong side of the bed, and was I reading too much into it?
Tony hesitated.
“Did he?”
I looked at him and Tony – with both hands in his pants pockets, peeking out from under his crumpled green shirt and brown sweater – let his gaze wander into the distance, as if the subject made him uncomfortable.
“Tony...” I watched him closely, narrowing my eyes. “What's going on with your father? He's been acting strange for almost two months now.”
“What about my father?”
Oh, come on. If Tony was good at anything, it was denial.
“I know you're avoiding the subject, but your dad obviously has a drinking problem.” Tony's jaw began to work. “He needs help.”
I hated to burden him with heavy topics, especially since this man already stressed enough about making the world a better place. He hated being reminded that his family wasn't perfect, as if it were his job to hold everything together.
“Which he won't bother getting,” he said, staring intently at the white tulips we were passing. “Believe me. I've already talked to him, but he avoids the whole subject.”
A group of students engrossed in conversation nodded to us, and I returned the nod. Tony was usually the one who was open with his students, but right now he was stuck too deep in his thoughts to even notice them.
“And right now…”
He paused, pressed his lips together, and I knew I was close to a breakthrough with him.
“There's something and you're not telling me.”
I didn't mean to sound judgmental, but we had been there for each other for the last eighteen years. He should damn well know that he could count on me. After all, I was always the one who had to fix everything here.
So what exactly was he afraid of? That I wouldn't be able to fix something for once?
My urge to help Tony came from the fact that he had helped me with Lara on days when Monica hadn't been there, that he had picked her up from school, that he had driven me home from the library on shitty evenings and encouraged me not to throw in the towel on my studies.
I wasn't sure if I would have lasted so long in this hopelessly empty world without him.
“Because Father doesn't want us to talk about it.”
I squinted, trying to assess what it was this time that Joseph was trying to hide from the outside world.
“Us? Are there family problems?”
Playing Benny – Las Vegas 1966
Carlos Rafael Rivera
When I had first met Joseph Richter by coincidence, I had perceived him as a remarkable man with an air of spotless integrity. For years, I had looked up to him and made him my role model. Those had also been the years when we had worked best together.
The man with the picture-perfect family, the good job, the prestige, and the steep career ladder.
Then the court case had come crashing down on him, showing me that even he had cracks in his old facade that he wasn't able to cover up.
We all had our struggles in life, some smaller, some bigger. And knowing that even my mentor had difficulties made him a more real person.
He just didn't like to hear it, saying that we, as the elite of society, had to function flawlessly and present ourselves at our best.
“Does it have something to do with those court cases?” I pressed when Tony didn't answer, but he was still staring into space. “Tony... If you need help...”
“Okay,” he suddenly turned to me and we both stopped abruptly, almost causing students to bump into us, but I pulled him aside in time, which he didn't even notice. “Listen. About these lawsuits...” He took a deep breath before lowering his voice. “He had a little slip-up. An affair.”
“Wait...” I raised both hands in front of me, because Tony's words took me by surprise. “What?”
“Things weren't going so well between my parents twenty years ago.” He pulled me further into the shade of an oak tree so that we entered the meadow, which we actually weren't allowed to enter. “And let's not kid ourselves. This marriage is beyond saving, even if they don't care.”
I swallowed, overwhelmed by this information.
Joseph liked to tell me where he was taking his wife next and what expensive gifts he was surprising her with, even though Lorette was ungrateful and I had to refrain from making all kinds of comments about her bossy manner.
“Hold on… Joseph cheated?”
The image of him with another woman didn’t fit in my head. Especially since I knew he was a sincere man who kept his word. This wasn’t Joseph. Not the one I knew.
“Yes,” Tony murmured. “And he has another child.”
Wait… I couldn’t keep up.
“My little sister.”
The look on my face had to be one of utter bewilderment, because Tony nodded with a desperate laugh. “Yes. I know.”
He backed away, ran his hand over his face, while I tried to piece together all these misshapen puzzle pieces.
“I only found out a few months ago, and it took me a while to process it.”
Joseph. An affair. A child. How was I supposed to process that? All these things were part of everyday life for this elite, and yet I hadn't seen it coming with Joseph.
“Anyway... The two of them don't get along at all. He acts so differently with her.” Tony ran his hands through his hair. “And Gravia is literally driving him crazy, as if she doesn't know his limits, even though he's been leading a double life and secretly raising her.”
I really couldn't keep up anymore.
That was definitely not my rational mentor who had his life under control.
A double life? One that Tony hadn't known about until three months ago? One that even I hadn't known about?
Managing one family was already a challenge. But two?
“Since Gravia has been with us, he's been drinking twice as much.”
“Gravia? Is that her name?”
My Latin was rusty, but that detail didn't escape me.
No. That was absurd.
I quickly pushed the thought aside.
I wondered how old the little girl was, when exactly his marriage had gone off the rails...
From Tony's description, she sounded like a rebellious teenager who set fire to lockers at school and turned the stereo up full blast at two in the morning until the house vibrated.
Something I had never had to deal with with Lara, even though until a year ago she had gone to school every day – ignoring my requests – wearing summer dresses that were far too short, and I had had to get used to the Nirvana phase, which had made me grateful that we lived in a neighborhood with large gardens between the adjacent houses.
“Okay, Davian...” Anthony looked around, lowered his voice even further, and clasped his hands together. “Listen. Under no circumstances can you let him know that I told you all this.” Of course he was asking me to hold together a construct of lies. “Understood? Not a word.”
I wanted to ask him how he envisioned that working in the future, when Monica appeared in the distance on the path.
Her eyes lit up when she spotted us, and she waved at me.
“Anthony!”
At her call, he looked around, smiled back, then turned back to me with a serious expression.
“Davian,” he murmured. “Bruderehrenwort?”
I was weak when it came to the Bruderehrenwort.
“Bruderehrenwort.”