Chapter 37 #3
Then he looked at my face, lifted the towel, but paused just before my cheek.
“May I?”
I nodded. A second later, a warm towel settled against my cheek.
Davian watched my reaction closely as he slid his other hand under my chin, placing his thumb and index finger on either side of my jaw, before he began to rub the towel over the traces of my chaos far too carefully. All without taking his focused gaze off my skin.
Did friends do things like that? If so, how did they ignore the moths in their stomachs?
I didn't want to know the answer to those questions, because whatever this was between us, I needed it in this moment of weakness, even if I could only accept it in fragments.
I closed my eyes, letting him wipe over my eyelids before he wrung out the towel again and again and moved on to the other side, not without his gaze lingering on my lips every few seconds.
Water dripped from my chin onto my décolletage and he looked down.
His Adam's apple pressed up and down against his skin, and my gaze fell on his carotid artery, which was clearly visible under the skin on the side of his neck.
My heart skipped a beat and I drew in a breath, overwhelmed.
Davian looked up at me, but his eyes immediately slid back to my lips.
If the friction hadn't already stimulated the blood flow in my cheeks, it would have been obvious to him what he was doing to me. What his touch, his gaze on my skin, was doing to me.
This was torture.
Unexpectedly, he carefully removed his hand from my jaw, but instead of withdrawing his fingers, he let them slowly slide down the side of my neck without breaking eye contact.
An overwhelming tingling sensation followed the trail his fingers left on the map in front of him.
My stomach trembled.
His blue thread wove itself ever tighter around us, wrapping itself around my waist, layer by layer, enveloping me in warmth without which I did not want to survive.
A dependency I slipped into piece by piece. It was supposed to be toxic, but it didn't feel that way as my lips automatically opened slightly and I desperately sucked in air.
He faltered. Paused. And I saw that it was working inside his head. That his reason was stronger than mine. Just as it should be.
Fade Into You
Mazzy Star
He took a deep breath, took his hand off me, and put the towel aside before clearing his throat.
“Take a bath, shower... whatever you prefer.” He drained the water from the sink, rinsed the towel with a furrowed brow, then tossed it into the laundry basket, hitting the target this time.
“If you need anything...” He strode to the door and looked at me, but avoided eye contact. “You know where to find me.”
He turned to leave.
The knot in my stomach was impossible to ignore, growing, but I forced myself to ignore it.
“Davian?”
He paused, turned to me, his gaze searching, not avoiding my eye contact, and it threw me off balance how naturally and attentively he reacted to me every time.
“You should be proud of Lara.” The corners of my mouth turned up slightly. “She may have lied to you, but she did it to protect a friend.” My smile disappeared. “I shouldn't have put her in that situation.”
“It's okay. I overreacted and I'll talk to her...”
I nodded.
“Gute Nacht, Davian.”
He hesitated again, and my heart stopped in anticipation, even though there was nothing to anticipate except for the moment when he would respond to my words.
“Gute Nacht, Quill.”
As soon as he turned away and disappeared down the hallway, and up the stairs, a smile crept onto my lips.
Davian was the first person who had ever wished me a good night. In my mother tongue.
I sat there for another five minutes, staring into nothingness, replaying the evening in my mind, my eyes too tired to shed any more tears.
Then I slipped into the shower, letting the hot water wash away all the remaining mess, scrubbing away the ink stains as best I could, scrubbing my face again until the ink was completely gone and all that remained was the pain on my neck when I touched it too hard.
When I stepped out of the shower, exhausted from the hot water, and wrapped the towel around myself, my gaze lingered on the laundry basket, where the white T-shirt was still hanging over the rim.
Pull yourself together.
I tried to look away, but an intrusive thought gnawed at my mind.
Don't do it, Quill.
Of course, I didn't win that battle.
Almost hypnotically, I walked over to the basket, glanced at the closed bathroom door, and then reached for the T-shirt.
I stared at it for too long, hating myself for not just throwing it in the basket, instead taking it upstairs with me as if I had completely lost my mind.
In my room, I let the towel slip from my body, slipped straight under the covers, and pressed the T-shirt against my chest with both hands, literally clawing at it and closing my eyes before I dared to inhale deeply the intoxicating masculine scent of the last man on earth I was allowed to desire.
I desired Davian Rydell.
And everything about it was wrong.
You deserve.
– Leaking Batteries Diary