Chapter 39 #2
“Cautious, wait-and-see...” Monica said, now focusing on Davian. “Davian has been an excellent lawyer, quietly waiting for his opponent to make a mistake. He is calm and observant, even under pressure. Something that is outside my area of expertise when I am already in the middle of a debate.”
She looked back at me.
“We both will separately train your tactical thinking and targeted action. We will find out where your personal strengths lie over the coming weeks. Until then, you will watch us debate, debate against us, and before each weekend, submit the method exercises, introductory speeches, and the arguments you have prepared for upcoming debates, even if they are not yours.”
Overwhelmed, I looked between the two of them, and Davian suppressed a smile.
“Besides, I've decided over the weekend that it would be best if you joined the debate club and documented every debate.”
She walked over to her bag, pulled out an A4 document, and handed it to me.
“These are the books you'll be reading. And if you have any questions, my number is down there. Davian will give you his as well.”
I couldn't help but automatically look over at him, and our eyes met.
He had already left me his number this morning in the notebook he had given me for university, with the note, In case you need me.
It had been a nice gesture, but it had ruined me.
I need you, Davian. More than I should.
The fact that he had gotten me a new cell phone on Saturday without me ever asking for it didn't make it any better. At first, I hadn't wanted to accept it, but he had said I could pay him back if it was that important to me, though he would never ask for it.
God, what had I done to deserve this man?
“We shouldn't waste any time. So...” Monica looked between us. “Let's get started.”
Top Boards
Carlos Rafael Rivera
I should have known that these two ex-lawyers, who were constantly prepared for anything, had worked out a debate especially for this exercise session, which I had taken notes on for fifteen minutes, and now I was asking myself for the thousandth time in my life what I had done to deserve the privilege of breathing the same air as such people.
It resembled a miracle that top lawyer and high earner Davian Rydell wanted anything to do with someone like me at all. A high school dropout. A failure. The bad influence on his well-behaved daughter.
With great effort, I pushed these thoughts aside, let Monica lecture me on note-taking and the crucial twists and turns of the debate, and tried not to stare at Davian, who meanwhile was busy writing something down in his files.
Those damn reading glasses...
After an hour and many pages of A4 notes, as well as three practice sheets for this week, Monica packed her bag, said goodbye to Davian with a euphoric smile, and didn't leave the room until she had given me one last serious look and said, “Take care of yourself,” to which I was powerless to respond.
Rooted to the spot, I stared after her until she closed the door behind her.
Playing Mr. Ganz
Carlos Rafael Rivera
“I'd love to say, good luck with Monica's mountain of tasks, but we both know how little you plan to get through even one of those sheets.”
Overwhelmed, I turned to Davian and grabbed the strap of the bag I had just slung over my shoulder so I would at least have something to hold on to.
There was something amused in his expression as he lowered his pen and leaned back casually in his chair.
“It took me a while, but now it all makes sense.” His expression became serious. “You don't want your father to run Maplecrest.” I bit my lower lip. “You want to see him fail, and that's why you're going to sabotage these debates.”
Sooner or later, he would have figured it out. I had known that since this morning. Still, nothing had prepared me for it.
“I can still leave if you want me to.”
I probably sounded as overwhelmed as I felt, and Davian staring at me as if I had committed a crime didn’t make it any better.
His opinion meant a lot to me, even though I usually did what I wanted and dragged everything around me into chaos.
How could he have said yes to this friendship? Did he pity me?
“All I want is what's best for you.”
Did he always have to say things that sent tingles through my stomach? Did my body always have to react to him?
“And we both know you won't find that in Maplecrest.”
I had been certain of that until now. But at that moment, seeing him sitting there, I wasn't so sure anymore.
He's the best thing that ever happened to me.
“But now that you’re here, why don’t you show your father that you’re someone special, that you can do everything he never thought you could.”
Someone special.
Ouch.
Don't do this to me, Davian.
He leaned forward, rested both elbows on the table, and clasped his hands together. There was something demanding about his posture, along with those intense, narrowed eyes. Something that sent shivers down my spine.
Focus, Quill.
“Because he was always right,” I said quickly. “I’m too stupid, too lazy, too weak to survive in this world. My life is doomed to failure.”
A shadow flitted across his face.
“You know those are all lies he burned into your mind.”
He pushed his chair back, stood up to turn his back to me, and stepped to the window, his jaw clenching convulsively.
“And even if they are, it's too late. I'm beyond repair, Davian.”
I walked over to the desk and set down my bag, which was slowly becoming almost as heavy as the tension between us.
“All I can do is let my chaos take over.”
My bag tipped over, and I barely managed to grab Davian's coffee cup before the book that slipped out of the bag could knock it over.
Caught, I looked up from Batteries of Ink to Davian, only to find that he had turned his head and was staring at the book.
The Green Pills
Carlos Rafael Rivera
I smiled sheepishly through clenched teeth and shoved the book back into my bag, which officially made me a thief.
“You took it from my nightstand...”
Davian turned to face me completely, and heat exploded in my face, especially when Davian didn't stop staring at my bag, as if he wanted to pull the book out and throw it out the window.
“Isn't it enough to read this...” He pressed his lips together before his chest heaved heavily. “...book... once?”
“I love this book,” I defended Atrianima, as I would for the rest of my life. Someday I would meet her in person and talk to her for hours, asking her when she would release the second book. I firmly believed she would. Not like all the people on the internet forums.
Davian snorted.
I raised an eyebrow.
“Could it be that you're in a bad mood?”
“Not because of you.”
He turned away from me again.
“Davian...” I laughed softly, and he paused in his turn. “Why do you have two of her books?”
His jaw tensed further, but I wasn't going to give up until I found out more about his love-hate relationship with Atrianima.
“Could it be that you're secretly fascinated by this author, but don't want to admit it because her writing inspires you to write again, even though you're fighting hard against it?”
Davian turned his back to me completely, shoving both hands into his pants pockets.
I seemed to have hit a nerve.
“I'm not going to talk to you about writing.”
Funny that we did almost nothing else.
“Those days are over. Writing and me...” Another snort. “That combination isn't healthy.”
No. That wasn't true. What he was doing now wasn't healthy. This lifestyle, trying to sever the bond between his soul and the one thing he was born to do, regardless of the consequences.
The strap of the bag slipped from my shoulder.
“When was the last time you wrote? How long has it been?”
He didn't answer. But I wasn't going to let him get away with it that easily.
“Months? Years?”
The mere thought of it kicked me in the gut. No author could go that long without writing. Not once they had tasted blood. Not once it had completely consumed them.
He must be...
I blinked.
“You...” The realization flooded me. “...write in secret.” Davian's posture seemed stiff as a board.
My sign that I was on the right track. “It's bursting out of you.” I was tempted to walk around the desk so he would be forced to look at me, but my rarely present sense of reason urged me to keep my distance.
“And then you try to lock it back in that rusty cage.”
What he was doing to himself was pure madness.
“Davian... What are you doing to yourself?”
He spun around.
“The only right thing!”
Startled, I flinched.
What this topic did to him set off all my alarm bells.
Nothing about it was right.