Chapter 5
FIVE
FOURTEEN YEARS OLD
“I can’t believe you don’t have to wear a uniform.”
I flicked my fingers along the hangers, trying to understand why Gray wanted to shop here. Usually, he was happy to wear whatever his mom grabbed from him, but over the summer, he’d declared it was time for a new look, trading in his flannel jackets and cargo pants for fitted shirts and jeans that clung to his legs.
So, here we were, spending the final days of our summer vacation at the outlet mall a few towns over. His mom was shopping down the block, so we’d been left to our own devices. The outlet mall was small, with no more than fifty stores crammed within a few-mile radius. Most were way out of our spending limit, but there were a couple that had what Gray was looking for. I didn’t need much, considering my new prep school had a strict dress code. In a couple of weeks, I’d be trading in my shorts for a blazer and plaid skirt.
Kill me now.
I found a black lace top and held it up to my chest as I looked into the floor-length mirror. My mom would never let me wear something like this. Even when I wasn’t at school, I had little control over my wardrobe. My mother hand-picked all our clothes, ensuring we all fit the mold our stepfather set for us. The three of us had specific roles to play. Laurel was the heir, being primed to take his place one day, I was the serious one, the future lawyer or state senator, and Calla was the precious little princess, being forced into frilly dresses that never suited my carefree sister.
So when Mrs. Anders dropped us at the front door and told us she would be back in a couple hours, I didn’t know what to do. Luckily, Gray was at my side, like he had been all summer.
“I don’t know,” Grayson called out from the dressing room. “We’re starting high school. Seems like a good time to change things up.” Rustling noises came from the room. I stiffened, trying not to picture what was happening behind the black, gauzy curtain. “Plus, a lot of the guys on the team have been ragging on me about my clothes. I don’t want to show up on the first day looking like a loser.”
“You’re not a loser,” I snapped defensively.
“I know, Devy,” Grayson said as he shoved the curtain to the side. I started to reply, but my words died on my tongue when he turned around to face the mirror.
Gone was the skinny boy I’d known my whole life. After a summer of playing baseball with the modified team, he’d grown into his body, new muscles emerging that had never been there before. My mouth dried up as I scanned his back. What the hell was going on? Was Gray… hot ? I shook my head, trying to force the words out of my head.
Despite our rocky history, Gray was my best friend now. He was the one who held my hand when I was scared, the one I called when I missed my dad and couldn’t hold back my tears. He’d seen me at my worst, yet he still stuck around, never bothered that I couldn’t always keep up the perfect act my family demanded.
It was the best feeling in the world—like popping your head out of the car window and letting your scream get lost in the wind. It made me feel alive, even when the rest of the world was trying to corral me into a tiny little box.
Gray turned around to face me, breaking me out of my thoughts. “I want a fresh start,” he sighed. “I’ve been stuck with most of these kids since I was in diapers. I want them to see me differently, not...” He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.”
I knew what he meant without him finishing his thought. Not like I’m stupid . And even though I’d told Grayson it wasn’t true, that there were different kinds of intelligence, he never took it to heart. He might have struggled in school, but that didn’t change the fact that he was one of the most brilliant people I’d ever met. He understood physics and body mechanics in a way I could never. He could take one look at an engine and figure out how to take it apart and put it back together. It was the kind of life skill I would kill for.
I turned toward the dressing room, propping my hand on my hip. “You know if anyone else talked about you like that, I’d punch them in the throat.”
“Oh yeah?” Gray chuckled as he pushed open the door and stepped in front of me. “You gonna have my back, Ace?”
My nose scrunched. “Ace?”
“Yeah,” he said; his eyes suddenly darted down to his shoes, and a blush filled his cheeks. At least, I thought it did. By the time he looked up again, it was gone. He shrugged. “Seems fitting, considering how smart you are. We both know you’re going to kill it this year. ”
My cell phone rang in my pocket, and I looked at the screen. My mother’s number glided across the front, so I tucked it back into my pocket without opening it. I shook my head, already knowing what she would say. She and my stepfather disapproved of my friendship with Gray, and I had no idea why. David, I could probably guess. The man hated our hometown and almost everyone in it, thinking they were all beneath him. But my mother was a different story. It was like when she married my stepfather, she’d decided to cut out everything from our former life, including the Anders family.
While our parents were no longer friends, Gray and I refused to let that happen to us. I’d already lost enough, and I refused to lose Gray too.
Gray met my far-off look in the mirror, the corner of his mouth ticking up. “You okay back there, Devy?”
“Yeah,” I answered, swallowing to push those thoughts away, but the sight in front of me was just as distracting. It took a significant amount of effort not to drool over this new look, especially with his signature long hair tied in a bun at the base of his neck. Just once, I wanted to run my fingers through it, to feel what it would be like to have all Gray’s attention. But instead of saying anything more, I just cleared my throat and shook my head. “Just think this is a very different look for you.”
“Too much?” Grayson asked, turning around to face me. His hand slid down the front of his shirt, accentuating the muscles in his forearms. Was that a thing? I wouldn’t really know. Honestly, most of the boys in my school were fellow trust fund brats, more obsessed with their clout than their muscles. The only thing they regularly flexed were their mouths. But Gray was always different from that world, more down-to-earth and centered. Maybe that would change as we started high school, but I wanted to hold onto that feeling for as long as possible.
“No,” I said, looking up to meet his steely eyes. “Not bad, Grayson.”
He rolled his eyes, taking a step away from me. “Told you not to call me that, Devy.”
I chuckled as he tucked back into the dressing room, tossing the shirt over the door. I closed my eyes, trying not to picture what was on the other side. “It’s only fair. You’ve gotten away with far too many Devys today. You’re lucky I’m distracted.”
“What’s got you so distracted?”
“It’s nothing.”
Gray emerged from the dressing room and stepped into my space. He looked down at me and arched his brow. It was ridiculous, but I was unable to lie to him, even when I wanted to. I flinched, stepping away to catch my breath. It was hard to focus with Gray so close. “Besides the usual stuff with my mom and David? There’s this kid back home who has been bothering me, and he got my cell number.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and showed him the messages. “He keeps texting me that I should smile more. It’s annoying.”
Gray rolled his eyes as he thumbed through the messages. “He’s hitting on you.”
“By being a dick?”
“Yup,” Gray enunciated. “Some guys think that’s the best way to get a girl’s attention.”
“That’s stupid.” I took my phone back out of his hand. “And it’s not even true. He just likes to get under my skin. He did it all last year too. He would see me in the halls at school and yell at me to smile.”
“Want me to talk to him? ”
I snorted as I turned to walk away. “I don’t need you to fight my battles, Gray. I’m perfectly capable of handling one jerk.”
But before I could get too far, Gray caught my elbow, pulling me back toward him. “I know you don’t need my help, Ace, but I’ve got your back, just like you have mine. No one messes with you and gets away with it.” He smiled down at me. “Besides, I like that you don’t smile too much.”
I glared at him. “Why is that?”
“Because when you smile at me, I know you mean it. It’s like you’re saving them all for me.”
Later that night, I snuck back into the hotel, taking the service elevator up to our apartment on the top floor. My family had owned the Isadora Hotel for over a hundred years. It sat on an island in the middle of Saint Stephen’s Lake, only accessible by twin bridges on the north and south sides. When my great-grandfather first opened its doors, it had only ten rooms and a small lobby. Now, over a hundred years later, it was a massive compound, complete with several guest houses all over the property.
When we lived in Saint Stephen’s Lake full time, my parents always talked about buying a home away from the hotel but never got around to it. Secretly, I was glad. People often gave me weird looks when they found out we lived here, but I loved it. It was like being a part of history. There were so many secrets hidden in these walls, and my sisters and I loved trying to discover them all.
But like everything else in my life, that all changed when my mother married David. Then, she decided we would move into his penthouse in Manhattan full time. Although we only came up for long weekends and summer vacation, my grandfather kept the apartment so we could come back to it anytime we wanted.
I pushed the back entrance of the apartment open into the kitchen. No lights were on—usually a good sign that the rest of my family was fast asleep. I was in no mood to deal with my mom tonight. Today had been too good, and I wanted to hold on to this feeling a little longer.
But it died a little as I passed the calendar hanging on the wall, our first day of school circled in dark red ink. I wasn’t ready to even think about that, much less hear another lecture about my future. My mom and David were already putting so much pressure on me, wanting to make sure I was starting high school off on the right foot. Where most kids got four years to figure out their future, mine was already clearly carved, and anything else wouldn’t be tolerated. But even though I knew it was a pipe dream, I still hoarded brochures for art school under my bed, counting down the days until I could apply and get out of this place.
I’d only gotten a couple of feet into the main part of our apartment when a throat cleared behind me. My insides instantly churned. As I turned, I met my stepfather’s disapproving gaze.
Even though my mother married David last year, the man was practically a stranger. The only thing I knew about him was that he was cold and stubborn, demanding perfection from all of us. I’d gotten better about biting my tongue, but it was hard to be in the same room as him. The only good thing was that he hated coming up here, so usually, the lake was our refuge.
But this time, he’d decided to tag along, and I had no idea why. He’d barricaded himself in the office, only coming out to bark orders if we got too loud. Luckily, I’d managed to avoid him for most of the trip. Now, my luck seemed to have run out.
He glanced down at his watch, arching one of his thick brows. To the rest of the world, David might have been handsome once. He had classic American looks, like the son of a politician. But beneath the perfectly coiffed dark blond hair and cold blue eyes was someone obsessed with power and influence.
“Where were you?”
“With some friends,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm. Out of all the girls, I had the most difficulty holding back my tongue, especially around David. Maybe I should have had more fear of the man who controlled my fate, but I wasn’t wired that way. The more he tried to force me under his thumb, the more I fought back, acting the part in public but plotting behind the scenes.
David’s eyes narrowed. “Your mother was worried.”
I couldn’t help but scoff. My mother knew better than to worry about me, especially up here. She trusted this town and knew nothing would happen to us. The other residents looked after each other, not like in the city, where your neighbors barely knew your name.
David moved to the side, opening the door to the study off the main living area. “We need to talk, Devyn.”
I glanced down the hall, wondering if I could get to the exit before he caught me, but it would just be delaying the inevitable. It wasn’t like I could avoid him forever, no matter how much I wanted to. I followed him inside the office, trying not to look around the room.
For so long, this was my dad’s. He’d rented a little space downtown, but I’d never been there, mostly because he only used it to meet with clients. Everything else was done within these four walls. We’d be able to hear him all hours of the night, rehearsing his opening arguments for court.
When I was little, I’d hide in here and watch him work, laughing when he found me after a couple of minutes. He’d plop me in his lap and explain what he was doing, at least the broad strokes.
And now, this room, his legacy, was being systematically dismantled by the exact type of man he hated—the kind of man who would eviscerate anything in his path as long as his bottom line increased.
His stepdaughters included.
As I settled in the chair across from the desk, David cleared his throat. “Your mother tells me you’ve been spending a lot of time with the Anders boy.”
“Gray?” I snapped, daring to look up at him. “Of course I am. He’s my best friend.”
“Is that it?”
My fingers dug into the thick maroon leather on the chair’s arms. “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes. We’re just friends.”
“Good,” David settled into the large wingback chair behind the desk. “And this should go without saying, but it needs to stay that way. Under no circumstances will I allow you to get involved with someone of his caliber.”
“Excuse me?”
David interlocked his fingers and leaned forward. “Make no mistake, Devyn. Your last name might be Winters, but you represent me. And with that comes certain expectations, including who you spend your time with.” He pushed out a breath. “I understand you are getting to the age when you might look for companionship. Who you chose sends a message.” He shoved his pointer finger into the top of the desk. “And it will be someone your mother and I approve of, is that understood?”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I scoffed, unable to hold back a moment longer. My nails dug into the palm of my hand, sure to leave deep crescent-shaped marks later. But I could barely feel it, not when all my anger was aimed at David. “You’ve already dropped me into the school of your choice, I’m taking the classes you want me to take. And now you want to approve of the people I date?” I stood, turning my back to him. “Fuck you, David.”
The words were barely out of my mouth when I felt something at my back, causing me to collide with the heavy wooden door. My face ricocheted off it, and I stumbled to the ground, my back resting against the bookshelf. As I looked around, trying to make sense of what happened, I could feel my face throbbing. I reached up and touched my nose. When I pulled my hand back, thick red liquid coated my fingers, and I stared at it in disbelief. “You…” I said, unable to get the words fully out as I looked down at my blood. “You…”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” David said from his desk. But he made no move to help me, not even phased by the blood. “You tripped on the edge of the rug. You really should be more careful, Devyn. Never know what could happen to you or those you care about.”
As his words sunk in, my brain finally registered the pain. It radiated through my nose into my cheekbones. Shit, I really hoped I didn’t break anything. But that was my secondary concern, too focused on his threatening tone.
I swallowed hard, ignoring the coppery taste at the back of my throat. “What are you saying?”
He sighed, giving me an annoyed stare, like my question was inconveniencing him. “You’re a smart girl. I think you can figure it out.”
With that, he exited the office, not sparing a single glance to check if I was okay. As I heard the door to his bedroom open and close, I sank down to the carpet, wrapping my arms around my legs.
David was an asshole, but he’d never laid a hand on any of us before. He dealt more in veiled threats. Once, when I dared to stand up to him at a company event, he mentioned he hated getting his hands dirty but had plenty of people who’d be willing to do it for him. Despite his words, I’d never really feared what he was capable of, not until right now.
“Or those you care about.”
I almost vomited on his carpet. David’s threat against me was bad enough, but to know he’d go after those I cared about to silence me? That was enough to make me purge my dinner.
And as much as I hated it, David’s words had their desired effect. Calla and Gray were the two most important people in my life, and I’d do anything to make sure they were safe. When my little sister was a baby, my dad made me promise I would look after Calla. Even if I hadn’t, I would always put her first.
But the idea of cutting Gray out of my life was worse than the alternative. Being without my best friend would be like walking around with only half of me. I needed him. I didn’t think as I stood, needing to get out of the apartment to the only place that felt safe right now.
I ran right to Gray.