Chapter 35
THIRTY-FIVE
Three days after our meet-up with Laurel, I found myself in my family’s suite at the Isadora Resort, the hotel my great-great-grandfather had started over a hundred years ago. It was a staple in this community, the only high-end resort in this county. While many people flocked here for the summer months, I’d avoided it for a long time.
Calla used to joke that she’d always live here, at least until my mother unceremoniously kicked her out a couple of years ago. During my childhood, I felt the same. The Isadora was our home, and I thought it would always feel that way. But over the past decade, the feelings had started to twist and fray into something unpleasant. The Isadora felt haunted—not necessarily by spirits, but by unpleasant memories I’d rather forget. Being back in this place reminded me of a time when I was weak, when I didn’t have the resources to fight for myself beyond my sharp tongue and faulty filter.
Calla nudged me in the side. “Are you okay? You’ve literally been staring at that wall for ten minutes.”
I shook my head. “It has not been that long. ”
“Okay, maybe not exactly, but still. It was long enough that I was starting to worry.”
“I don’t like being back here,” I quietly admitted so our mother wouldn’t hear me. While she hadn’t been the best example of maternal love growing up, at least she was trying to do better now, less pushing her ideals and taking more of an interest in our lives. But after being ignored by her for most of my life, I’d gotten used to existing without her, only hearing from her if she needed something. When Calla and our mother were estranged, it was the first time she reached out to me first. I thought she was attempting to get to know me better, but she was really just using me as a messenger. After that, I didn’t let myself get too hopeful we’d ever have an ideal mother-daughter relationship.
But she was trying, especially with Calla, as she was expecting a daughter of her own. It gave them something to bond over, I guess.
I looked at my little sister, noticing her bump had fully popped. Although she was just entering her third trimester, she was still glowing. “How are you feeling?” I asked.
“Like a beached whale,” she answered. “But good. I’m starting to get tired quickly, but I guess that’s to be expected. Only a few more months to go.”
“How’s Theo holding up?”
Calla playfully rolled her eyes. “He threatened the contractor to make sure the house would be done on time but then decided we needed a state-of-the-art home security system, which might cause a delay.” She rubbed her belly. “He’s lucky I love him as much as I do. Otherwise, I don’t know how I’d live with him.”
“He’s just excited,” I said.
“Just you wait,” Calla teased. “You think Theo is bad? Wait until you get pregnant. Gray is going to cover you in bubble wrap and follow you everywhere.”
“Excuse me?” I choked out. “That’s not something we’re even thinking about, much less actively trying for. I don’t even know if Gray wants kids.”
“I know, but it’s fun to think about.” Calla’s face scrunched up. “Wait—do you want kids? I feel like you’ve never mentioned them before.”
“I…I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I’ve never really allowed myself to think about it. Before, when I was at the firm, I pushed it out of my mind, trying to convince myself my career was enough. It wasn’t like I was with someone or even thinking about settling down.”
“But now?”
“I don’t know,” I answered quietly. “I think I could see it if it’s with Gray. I don’t think I would have kids with anyone else.”
Calla squealed and wrapped me in a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you, Dev. You love your husband! I know it’s supposed to be that way, but you guys always did things a little out of sequence. Now look at you, married and finally in love.”
“Okay,” I said, patting her arm. “Yes, we are married, but we’re not married married, you know?”
“No,” Calla said. “I literally have no idea what that means.”
“It means, yes, technically, on paper, we are married. But we missed all the steps. Dating, getting engaged, planning a wedding Cher didn’t officiate.” I stepped back. “It feels like we missed all those important moments?—”
“Dev.”
“And sure, I love Gray, and of course, I want to be with him long-term, but I also want all those things. With him.” I groaned, dragging my hands over my face. “Does that make any sense?”
“Makes a lot of sense,” a deep voice called out from behind me. I stilled, instantly recognizing the deep timber of Gray’s words. Please kill me now and bury my body where no one will ever find it. He stepped up closer to me, so close, I could feel his heat at my back. As he placed a hand on my shoulder, he said to Calla, “Mind giving me a minute with my wife?”
My sister just smiled at the two of us, beaming back like we were the cutest thing she’d ever seen. When she left the dining room, Gray shifted his hand down to my elbow and twisted me to face him. I kept my eyes down, too scared to look up. I didn’t know what I would find there. Hurt? Confusion?
I didn’t have long to think about it, because Gray’s fingers found my chin and tilted it upward until our eyes were locked. I almost gasped at the fire in his expression, much like the first time we’d kissed. It was the kind of fire that incinerated my walls and destroyed any obstacle in its path. I might have been ice, but Gray was all flames, and I was happy to melt at his feet.
“Something you want to ask me, Devyn?”
“Nope,” I said, my voice suddenly several octaves higher. “Just wondering what you’re doing here.”
“Thought I’d stop by and make sure everything was going well. You seemed nervous this morning.”
I placed a hand on his chest and lifted to kiss his cheek. “That’s sweet, but you didn’t have to go out of your way. Things are going…as well as could be expected. Laurel’s been with my mom the whole time, so Calla and I have been hanging out here. ”
He nodded then leaned in to kiss my forehead. “Never out of my way for you, Ace.”
I soaked in his warmth for a couple more moments before my mother and sister came around the corner. My mother, Diane Winters, was not considered a warm woman. We had that in common. She showed minimal affection, deciding to show how much she cared by nitpicking and pushing her children toward unattainable goals.
So I was very surprised when she came over and hugged Gray. He must have felt the same, because, although he returned her embrace, his eyes widened in shock over her shoulder. After a long moment, she pulled back. “It’s very good to see you, Grayson.”
“You too, Mrs. Winters. And it’s just Gray.”
She clicked her tongue, probably because Gray had forgotten how much she loathed nicknames. My mother stepped closer to me and took my hand. “My daughter says the two of you are dating. I’m very happy for you. I always thought you’d end up together years ago, but I’m glad you both waited until you were old enough to know for sure.”
“You did?” I asked. “But David said?—”
My mother held up her hand. “He always had an issue with Grayson. For some reason, he never wanted the two of you together. But we won’t worry about that anymore. We’re cleansing him out of this home and out of our minds.”
Calla furrowed her brow. “Wait, if he had such an issue with Gray dating Devyn, why didn’t he say anything about me?”
My mother leveled a glare at her. “I thought we were going to ignore that elephant in the room.”
“It’s fine,” I said, waving my hand. “I think we’ve all moved past it.”
“Fine,” my mother said. “If you must know, it was because he had no idea the two of you were dating. I never told him, and when he asked, I made excuses for Calla. He’d already driven a wedge between Devyn and Gray, so I didn’t want any more issues like that. Besides…” She grimaced at Calla. “It wasn’t like it was going to be forever, not with the way Grayson looked at Devyn. Sorry, dear.”
Calla rolled her eyes. “Mom, we broke up over a decade ago, and I’m pregnant with another man’s baby. Pretty sure I’ll find a way to get over it.”