Chapter 10
LILY
“This is a mistake,” I bite out the moment Ara picks up my call. I don’t usually raise my voice. Don’t usually instigate any type of confrontation. I don’t usually crack from my perfectly polished facade because I learned from a young age that it’s not only unattractive but a weakness.
But the six-foot-two looming presence trailing behind me through the busy crowds of Manhattan might’ve single-handedly ruined everything tonight—worse than I could’ve imagined.
And it wasn’t even what he said, because that’s the problem.
He doesn’t need to speak to get his point across.
And his murderous intent toward my father was loud and clear.
Which is terrifying because he wouldn’t flinch at the idea, let alone the execution, of killing someone.
“What did he do?” Ara asks, which only highlights how bad a matchup Lorenzo and I are if those are the first words that fall from her lips.
“I’m so sorry, Lily. I know I've put you in a shitty situation. I swear, Luca is working tirelessly to get to the bottom of this.” The sincerity in her voice makes me feel somewhat guilty for calling her.
I look down at my phone. It’s almost nine in the evening.
It’s not late, but it's not a time I’d usually call her.
Is it okay for me to be selfish in this? I mean, they were after Ara, not me. Shouldn’t I be more concerned about her safety than my own entitlement? But the look in my father’s gaze told me otherwise.
This is my life, and while I already thought it was spiraling to a grim place, this has only hardened my father’s resolve to marry me off to a man of his choosing. I’m sure of that much.
Compared to her safety, though, it seems immeasurable.
Have I always been this selfish?
“Lily?” Ara says. “Talk to me. I don’t know what’s happening unless you tell me, and I’m certain if I ask Lorenzo directly, he’ll give me nothing but a few grunts in response.”
A small bubble of mirth rises in my chest because there couldn’t be a more accurate statement. It seems like the only times he chooses to speak is to intentionally infuriate me or argue with me. Or when he surprises me with possessive hands and slips into a "doting boyfriend" role.
I push away the thoughts and lingering presence of his touch. He’s been nothing but cold to me all week. Then again, that’s Sergeant Lorenzo Moretti for you. And it’s royally ruined me.
“My father looked like he was about to blow a gasket when I introduced Lorenzo. I think this will only make my situation worse. I know you think this is”—I look around and whisper into the phone—“protecting me, but I should be fine now that I’m back in New York, shouldn’t I?
It’s been a week, and I’m more worried about you. ”
“You need to put yourself first for once, Lily,” she quickly reprimands.
“I want to say that we’re safer here, but I can’t guarantee that.
I’m so sorry for involving you in this. It should only be a few weeks at most until Luca has sorted everything out.
I just… these types of people are unpredictable. ”
Flashes from that day appear. I’ve been trying to push the memories away ever since it happened.
Cars swerving, shooting, blood, explosions.
It’s all like a movie, except it lacks the entertainment.
My heart kicks up in pace, and my stomach rolls uneasily with the graphic images that reappear.
I try to drown them out again, always shocked by the impactful hold they have over me.
My bottom lip wobbles, and my eyes begin to burn.
I’m not going to cry. I have a complete and utter overwhelming feeling of being useless and not at all in control of my life.
I’ve always been told how to act, speak, and present myself.
My father has been very vocal about my needing to find a suitable partner soon.
And presenting him with Lorenzo? He’ll most likely conclude I’m going through a rebellious stage. My feet come to a standstill.
Rebellious?
I’ve always done as I’m told.
I look over my shoulder at Lorenzo, who’s stopped two feet behind me.
And although this is an attractive rebellion to have, should I use him in the process?
Do I really think using Lorenzo might help me in any capacity with my father?
No. If anything, it’ll make it worse. But, suddenly, I don’t feel like doing everything I’ve been told to do.
I’m tired.
I’m scared.
I want to live.
“Lily?” Ara repeats.
“It’s just a lot. I’m scared,” I confess quietly, hoping Lorenzo doesn’t overhear.
I’ve tried my hardest to run my store and spend time at my apartment like I usually would, ignoring the threat that I don’t want to believe in.
Yet I still can’t help but worry about how this will impact my life going forward.
What happens after all of this? Am I still forced to eventually sell my shop and date whoever my father chooses for me?
My father's judgment seems so insignificant compared to this real threat, and yet, I’m so scared of it.
Of being pushed out of the family if I don’t oblige.
“I’m just not built like you are,” I tell her.
Ara is strong and always seems like she has her life together.
She was able to choose herself over her family, but I don’t have the same courage.
I don’t want to leave my mother behind.
“Which is precisely why I’ve always admired you,” Ara is quick to say.
“It’s okay to be scared. Most people should be in this situation.
You’re safe as long as Lorenzo is with you.
He’s Luca’s best. He might not be the greatest conversationalist, but I swear he will keep you safe while we fix this. ”
Unfortunately, Lorenzo can’t fix what my actual worries revolve around, which is my father. But even I can’t confess those secrets to Ara.
I let out a shaky breath.
“Sorry to call you so late,” I finally say. I’d be lying if I put all of this down to only recent events, and although Lorenzo’s influence might exacerbate the situation I was trying to run away from, it's only forcing me to face it.
I can’t be angry at him for that, although there’s plenty more I can be irritated by—his personality to start with.
“Don’t apologize, Lily. Do you want me to come to you right now?” she asks.
“No, it’s fine. I just need to walk for a bit and think. But we’re still on for breakfast, right?” Because I refuse to lose my friendship over this.
Ara’s quiet for a moment. I’ve known from our first meeting that she isn’t forthcoming with her emotions.
I can see how she’s opened up little by little through our friendship, but it’s like I’m learning about her all over again.
I don’t want this to come between us, so I need to show her at the very least that I can handle myself in this situation.
“I’ll be there. Are you sure, Lily?”
I bite down on a bitter smile. I need to be brave. I need to figure my shit out and sort out these mixed emotions I’ve suppressed for so long, the ones that have nothing to do with her and this circumstance. “I’m sure. Thank you, Ara, for being my friend.”
I hang up the phone and look to the sky, exhaling, feeling something within me shift. I let the sound of the busy street take over. It’s why I’ve always loved this city. It’s chaotic, forever moving, and when it all feels like too much, I allow its noises to drown out all the bad.
And it was working, until Lorenzo speaks. “If I could make a suggestion… Perhaps we should retrieve the car and—”
“No,” I say, turning on him and placing a hand on my hip.
His gaze narrows on me, as if I’m no more than an insignificant bug. “No?”
“No. You can go get the car, but I’m going to walk.” I finger one of the curls framing my face, the action always making me feel more put together, and then I continue walking.
“Are you simply saying no to be defiant?” Lorenzo asks, coming up beside me. I hate how my long strides don’t affect him whatsoever or create the space I clearly need.
“No. I’m living my life as I usually would. You might have orders to follow, but I don't.” I have no idea where I’m going, but I don’t care. I just need to walk. Do something I wouldn’t normally do. Be free, no matter how small the action.
His exasperated sigh brings me comfort enough to know he’s as inconvenienced by this as I am, which I can’t help but feel smug about.
We walk past multiple shops before he steps in front of me. “How about a little retail therapy? Doesn’t that usually make women feel better?”
I scoff. “You think I’m just a pretty little thing that likes to buy stuff?”
His eyebrows furrow. He's obviously confused by my response. Oh my God, he actually thinks that’s what being a woman entails. I step around him, shaking my head.
“What planet did you come from, Lorenzo? Did you not have women in your life to show you that they are complicated creatures with thoughts of their own, not simply something pretty to look at?” I feel like a hypocrite saying it, considering that’s exactly how I was raised.
I don’t agree with it, and it pisses me off to know that he, of all people, has this same belief.
“You seem to project a lot,” he says, like he’s simply making an observation.
I snap, spinning toward him. “Are you fucking kidding me?” The curse hits me tenfold, having more of an effect on me than him. But it also felt good. His expression shifts.
It’s menacing.
Dangerous.
All too provocative.
“Did you just curse at me, Lily Taylor? The elegant, sheltered dove knows how to cuss after all,” he drawls sensually, eliciting goose bumps to raise on my skin because it not only entices me but feels like a threat all the same.
I don’t know how to react or be around Lorenzo. He throws me off entirely.