Chapter 30
LORENZO
It’s not right. Walking away. That man should be dead, and I’m more than happy to serve his punishment. My hands grip the steering wheel so tightly I’m certain I’m about to break it. The only reason I'm driving this car in the opposite direction from him is because she came with me.
Tonight doesn’t feel like a victory. Seeing her holding a gun to me, fear in her eyes, and tears streaking down her cheeks, I realized to her I appeared no better than the violent man her father is.
It changes nothing, however.
I asked her time and time again if he’d ever hit her. There’s no fucking way I will live in a world where someone hurts her, even if that person is her father. Especially if that person is her father.
The palpable tension rolls through the car until we return to my home on the water.
The half-moon hangs in the night sky, along with the lights of the city reflecting on the water, but the evening is far from majestic.
It takes every ounce of my willpower to get out of the car and walk inside with her.
Lily follows me silently, and I hate the barrier that's now between us. I already know how much she's pulled back from me, and maybe that’s because of the decision I’ve already made. There is no way Henrith Taylor will live until tomorrow. I’ll make fucking sure of it.
I beeline for the freezer to grab a bag of peas. I wrap it in a tea towel, and then I face her, getting my first real look at her since leaving her parents' house.
She’s a wild mess, her hair in matted chunks. There's a small cut on her shoulder from where the glass broke beside her. And then there's that giant red handprint stained on her beautiful face.
Something felt off the moment we left her in that room alone with Henrith.
Call it instinct, but I had the need to check up on her, and I’m so fucking glad I did.
I might’ve looked like a madman as I left her mother and brother in the garden and ran back inside, but had I not, what else would have happened? What if I hadn’t made it in time?
“Lorenzo.” Lily’s voice breaks through my thoughts, and I realize the bag of peas has broken open from how tightly I was squeezing it, and they are spilling onto the floor.
I turn to the freezer for a new bag, but she catches both of my hands and brings them to her face. It’s as if she knows this is the only way I’ll stop and look at her, and it brings me to a standstill.
“Thank you for protecting me,” she says, and I’m taken off guard by her sincerity. She shouldn’t be thanking me. I think she’s showing me kindness in an attempt to talk me off the ledge. Or maybe she understands the intent I have to kill her father. “Promise me you won’t hurt him again.”
Anger bubbles from my stomach, not at her but at her unrealistic request. “He hurt you.”
I step back, the divide between us becoming wider when all I want to do is hold her. Whether she likes this or not, that man doesn’t deserve to fucking breathe for another day. “He’s a coward for striking you. How long has this been going on for?”
Her brow furrows, and her expression distorts.
Evidently, she's not satisfied with my answer, but she gently puts her hand on my chest and pushes me toward the sofa and then into a seated position, where she then sits herself on my lap.
I need it more than I realize as I wrap my arms around her waist.
Fuck, do I need her.
I need her to be safe—no matter what.
She’s acting contradictory to what I thought she might. I expected her to hate me, seethe with vile words. Not even want to look at me, let alone let me touch her.
It does nothing to shake the knowledge of what I must do.
“He’s been like this for as long as I can remember,” she quietly admits, lowering the bag of peas and staring down at it.
I’m quick to take the bag from her and gently hold it to her face, and she hisses at its cool touch.
I fucking hate the fact that I wasn’t there to prevent this.
She should never have worn his mark like this.
I’d take a million hits to ensure she never had to endure this one, or all the ones before it.
“I’m sorry, love,” I say, the pain striking me as deeply as if I had laid a hand on her myself.
“Lorenzo, you have nothing to apologize for. But please, promise me you won’t come into contact with my father again?” she asks gently. It’s not fair how she uses her soft tone against me. Who am I to deny her, when I've already tried for so long?
“Sorry, love, but I don’t operate that way. I protect those I love.”
It takes me a moment to realize what I’ve just said. This is what I’ve been fighting from the moment I first laid eyes on Lily.
Her mouth opens and then closes.
“I don’t expect you to say it back,” I say flatly, almost willing her not to.
I can only be so selfish. Now that I know it myself, it makes everything painfully clear, and I hate knowing that I’ll betray her in the next breath.
I want to kiss her, make love to her, mark her as mine all over again.
I don’t have that right, however, not with what I’m about to do. “What happened?”
Mixed emotions seem to roll through her, then she breaks into a small smile that shatters me into a million pieces.
Seeing the real Lily beneath—vulnerable and exposed—I can see how much she’s been keeping it together.
It’s a privilege that she’s showing me the ugliest version of herself, and it’s something I’ll never take for granted.
“He wasn’t happy about us or how the date went with Riley.
I don’t think he was told about the fork in the hand, but he knows there is no going forward for us.
He told me I was selfish and had no idea what kind of trouble we were in.
” Her brow wrinkles in confusion. “I don’t know what kind of trouble he meant, but to be honest, I don’t care anymore.
I stayed for so long, scared of what would happen to my mother if I left.
I’ve begged her so many times to leave him, but my mother…
” She trails off, and I understand what goes unsaid, so I bring it to life for her.
“She chooses to stay in the monster's home.”
Lily’s blue eyes slice to mine. Understanding connects us.
We’ve both lived under a roof with a violent parent controlled by his bottle of poison.
I brush her hair from her shoulder. “You might think you’re a coward, Lily Taylor, but you’re not.
I was trained to be a killer, and even I didn’t have the balls to kill my own father until I was ready to face the consequences. ”
Lily gasps. “You killed your own father?”
“Yes, and I’d do it again. For my brother. For me. For you.”
“I don’t want you to kill my father. Please, Lorenzo.”
I offer a small apologetic smile. “I can’t make that promise.” I feel the distance grow between us. “The only one I can make to you is that if any person intends to harm you, then I will dispose of them. I will not live in a world where I can’t protect you. Whether you hate me for it or not.”
“Lorenzo, please.” Her voice cracks, and tears spill over her cheeks. She cups my cheek almost pleadingly.
I’m tempted to tell her the truth—that she’s been the target all along—but it remains as a lump in my throat. Making her hate him even more doesn’t help the situation, and if anything, I fear it’ll only hurt her more.
Either way, I’ll ensure she remains protected.
I do everything I can to refrain from touching her, from claiming her in the way I want to, and taking away all of her worries.
I love Lily without a doubt, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that I’m poison to her life. I’ve known this fact about myself from the day I let my sister die. I have nothing good to offer her, except for executing one of the demons that haunt her—knowing she’ll hate me for it.
When she doesn’t get the answer and promise she wants, she folds further into herself.
“I keep wondering if my father ever really cared for me at all,” she says in bewilderment, and a new wave of hurt twists her expression.
“All I know is a man who loves his vices too much can rarely make room for others in his heart,” I say as I bundle her up in my arms. “I will always keep you safe.” I kiss her temple, embracing the lingering smell of her floral perfume one last time before I put her to bed and watch her fall asleep.
Then, I'll become the monster of the night she tried so hard to make me promise I wouldn’t be.