Chapter 35 #2
“Oh, shit, that’s bad. I’m so sorry, Lils,” he says, and I take the time to have another peek outside the front door, where Sky is still sitting, looking bored out of his mind.
Jesus, do they not even go to the bathroom?
I feel bad as I go to the kitchen and rummage through the cupboards, where I find a few snack packs.
I fling them out the door, and he seems startled but catches all three of them with abnormal reflexes.
His eyebrows furrow as he stares at the treats.
“I need you to come back home and watch over Mom while I go out for a bit,” Vince says.
I lean against the counter, peering into Romi’s room. “I don’t know if I’m comfortable leaving her like this.”
“Lils, I need you here. I’m trying to figure out this loan stuff, and we really need you. I’m worried about Mom. One moment she’s acting normal, and the next she’s walking around like a wraith. I don’t want to leave her.”
“Well, maybe you should stop leaving every night if you’re so worried,” I bite back, surprised by my own harshness. I close my eyes and remind myself I’m being unreasonable.
“Lily, it’s fine. I can take it from here,” Sienna says from Romi’s doorway. “She’s asleep now. I won’t go anywhere. Your family needs you.”
All the fight in me slowly recedes. I feel like I’m just going from one fire to another.
I’d transferred my savings to my brother, and he promised he’d make quick work of having it sorted. More than likely, that’s what he’s doing tonight.
I sigh, exhausted. “I’ll be home shortly.”
“Okay, I’m heading out now, then. I’ll see you later tonight,” he says and then hangs up.
“I’m sorry. I’ll check in later, okay? Call me if you need anything,” I say to Sienna.
Sienna looks tired, her usual perky self nowhere in sight.
I pull her in for a hug. “I’m so grateful to have you as a friend.
" Others might think Sienna is vain and shallow, but she’s none of those things.
She’s only ever been supportive of all of our endeavors, and when we need her most, she’s always there.
“Right back at you, girl. It’s a shit time, but we’ll all make it through this.
” She presses a kiss to my cheek and then nods toward the door.
“We need to have a discussion about you going from chastity belt to rolling through handsome men,” she says, aiming for a lighthearted tone. “Is everything okay at home?”
I have no doubt she’s probably clued in to the fact that there’s more going on than what I’m letting on, but I appreciate her not asking any more questions than necessary. “It will be.”
“What happened to Lorenzo?” she asks gently. My body immediately erupts into goose bumps at the mere mention of his name. I hated the idea of a fake relationship, of lying to my friends, but I hadn’t realized along the way how convincing we’d been. Hell, I’d even convinced myself.
“We broke up. Call me if you need anything,” I say with a small smile that doesn't reach my eyes, not leaving any more room for discussion regarding Lorenzo. It was all a lie. Every part of it. Because if I don’t believe that, then what can I believe in?
I can’t love the man who killed my father. Can I?
This is all types of fucked-up.
Sky rises to his feet and follows me, not mentioning how long he sat in the hallway waiting.
I fish for the car keys in my handbag, then freeze the moment I look up at my father's Mustang.
Lorenzo is leaning against it, his hands in his pockets, but the second our eyes meet, he has the audacity to begin to walk away.
I'm storming across the road before I have the better sense to stop myself. “Why are you here?” I demand all the pent-up fury and mixed emotions coming to the surface. If it were anyone else, I would remind myself that all of these complicated emotions aren’t all his fault.
Yet he’s the only person who deserves their scorn, to feel the wrath tenfold, because he’s the person who hurt me the most.
I want to push him farther away because I hate this pining for him, not trusting myself when he’s near. My heart betrays me. It’s complicated, and it’s messy, and it doesn’t make any fucking sense.
He stops and then turns slowly, reluctant to face me. His gaze moves everywhere but to me, but then his dark-brown eyes finally meet mine. It looks like he hasn’t slept in days. Good.
I hope his guilt is eating him alive.
“I noticed your tracking device went to an abnormal location, so I wanted to see with my own eyes you were safe.”
My eyes bulge. “You’re still tracking me?”
He shrugs. “Just because I’m not by your side doesn’t mean I’ve stopped prioritizing your safety.”
I scoff. “You lost that privilege when you killed my fucking father,” I seethe. “Any update on your boss cleaning up his mess, so I can finally be free of this bodyguard bullshit?”
“What do you want from me?” Lorenzo says far too calmly.
“It seems like you’re angry with the whole fucking world, and I’m the only person you can take it out on.
And although I welcome that poison tongue of yours, sweetheart, you’d better start doing some self-reflecting before you implode.
You can’t keep taking on everyone’s problems. There’s only so much I can do to help. ”
“Help?” The word comes out as a squeak. “I’ve never asked for your help. Never even wanted it in the first place.”
He nods slowly, and for a split second, I see the shift in his expression, the pain and sorrow.
My heart twists painfully as he then looks over my shoulder at Sky, and I feel the moment his walls go back up.
“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay,” Lorenzo says, quieter this time, before walking away.
“So, you’re just going to leave?” I demand, my fingers curling into my hands. I hate him so much, and watching him get into his car, as if I’m still nothing but a mission, abolishes my fake calm.
“Fucking asshole,” I grit out as I get into my own car and slam the door. I want to scream, cry, and break his perfect fucking nose.
I hit the gas before he has the chance to drive away, flipping him off as I speed past. Sky immediately tails me.
It’s all I can think about as I drive home, tears streaming down my face, the windows down as I welcome the cold slap of fresh air.
The lights of the city glow in the distance—a city I used to love because I once felt like I could lose myself amongst the chaos and noise.
However, lately, I feel like there are only a few faces I want to see.
That it’s too loud, too imposing, too shallow a city.
Or maybe that’s the life I built on top of it.
Before I know it, I’m stopped outside the front gates of my family estate, thinking about the time when Lorenzo parked in the very same spot, only to break in moments later to introduce himself to my parents for dinner. Absolutely ridiculous.
My hands curl around the steering wheel of the Mustang as that feeling of being trapped begins to creep in again, the frightful truth that I no longer have my father to blame for it.
The gates slowly open, and I just stare at the long, winding driveway, resistant to going down it once again.
Sky pulls up beside me, flipping up the visor to his helmet. I glare at him and ask, “What now?”
He raises a brow. “Do you want to know where your brother goes most nights? Or more specifically, where he is tonight?”
I don’t like his insinuation that there’s more behind this than I realize. Yet, deep down, I know he’s offering me the answers I need.
“Why are you offering me this? Won’t you get into trouble?” I ask, curiously.
He shrugs. “A part of my annoying charm is also meddling. Don’t get this twisted. I’m doing this for my own sake, in hopes I get discharged from playing babysitter.”
“I never asked that of you.” I’m so sick of being handled like a fragile parcel, yet at heart I am grateful to have him here, so why is it so fucking hard for me to say thank you? When did I turn into this type of person?
“Yeah, but since you’ve forsaken Lorenzo, I’ll get my ass handed to me if I leave my post. Whether you like it or not, he’s still a fucking archangel to you; even more than you realize. I think he’s a love-struck fool.”
I swallow at his last statement and look up to the open gates welcoming me into a home that has been far from warm for as long as I can remember.
Maybe I really have lost it, but I’m tired of leaving my fate in other people's hands. I’ve let it go on for too long.
I face him again. “Where is he?”
His smile widens. “First of all, you’ll need to wear something better than that,” he says before closing the visor on his helmet. “I’m thinking something red and short.”
“I think you want a punch to the face,” I reply blandly, and I’m filled with encouragement as he laughs.
“I can see what Lorenzo saw in you. You might fit in after all,” he says before revving his motorcycle and leading me down the driveway to the home I’m ready to see go up in flames.