Chapter 7
7
Dirx and Ian had proven perfect gentlemen. She’d brought some grilled chicken for the dog along with their meal. The shadows began to lengthen and sun glowed gold through the trees as they stretched out on a blanket at the state park.
Tovah ran a hand down Ian’s side as the dog took a nap. “Tell me why Zach was so worried about you taking me on this excursion when it was his idea? Is there a story there?”
Dirx looked down at the blanket then swirled the soda around in the bottle between his fingers. “There’s always a story.”
“I figured as much.” She scratched Ian behind the ears and the dog groaned. A soft laugh rolled out of her at the sound. “Mine isn’t pretty, either.”
Dirx nodded. “Zach said something about a broken engagement.”
“A broken arranged engagement.” A knot of shame burned under her heart. “I was an idiot for even going along with it in the first place. I thought it would make my family happy. It didn’t.”
Of course, she’d only given him the paired down and sanitized version. The whole story was much worse.
“Ouch.” Dirx took the last swig of his drink then put the bottle in the bag they designated for trash. “My story was a neighbor. I loved her like my next breath. She didn’t feel the same for me.”
Tovah reared back as if he’d denounced the possibility of an afterlife. “Was she blind and stupid?”
He lifted a shoulder. “No. Neither of those things. Let’s just say, she wanted out of the neighborhood and didn’t see me as a viable option.”
“Ouch,” she returned.
“Yeah.” He rose and picked up the bag of garbage then walked it to the receptacle. Ian stood and ambled over to the bike and climbed into the sidecar, ready to go.
“He’s well trained.”
“Better than the rest of us.” The smile was reluctant and didn’t reach his eyes. The talk had brought the mood down by tens of degrees.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry or open an old wound.”
“It’s fine. We’re getting to know each other.” He reached out and took her hand in a comforting squeeze. “I like you. I see a lot of your grandmother in you.”
Touched, Tovah helped clean up their picnic area and readied to go.
The sun had fully set about an hour before, Tovah sat in the little work area in the kitchen she’d set up and went over her notes. In addition to the test in A spread sheets and management.
Dirx had been a good antidote for the tedium of studying. The fact none of her classes were remotely similar helped in an odd way to keep the learning fresh.
A sadness lingered in his eyes after their discussion. As if the long-ago pain remained a constant ache. His neighbor had been a fool and had definitely missed out on a good man. However, no matter how charming or friendly, he wasn’t the man for Tovah. At this point, she didn’t really want one that was serious. Maybe down the road when she had her degree and worked in the field as a forensic investigator.
Not now.
Now was too busy and complicated to introduce more stress into her life. Beginnings of relationships were always stressful. At least to her.
Her phone lit with a call. A quick glance to the screen and she pushed the button to ignore.
Let it go to voicemail. Anything her mother had to say could be said in a snippet without direct contact.
The entire wedding had been her mother’s idea in the first place. She had needled and poked and connived and convinced until Tovah had buckled. The ink hadn’t even been dry on the prenup when the first signs of trouble had shown.
Then the gaslighting began.
The fact her own parents didn’t want what was best for her and told her to pretty much take one for the team in this instance left her with a bad taste in her mouth and pain in her heart. All her life, she felt as if she was one step removed for her immediate family’s inner circle—and she’d been right.
Then her betrothed had made a multi-million-dollar mistake and instead of blaming him, or standing up and taking the blame, her family had pointed their collective fingers at her. She was told to take it and keep her mouth shut.
At the board meeting to discuss the incident and assign blame, she had scribbled on the paper in front of her, then stood and sent the pad skimming down the conference table at her father. The note read: Go fuck yourselves. I quit.
Worry over retaliation hadn’t entered her mind. She had receipts and had hired her own lawyer in case the family pressed the issue, or the authorities got involved. They hadn’t. The matter remained in the company.
Leaving the conference room that day, Tovah hadn’t been sure if the expression on her father’s face was pride or umbrage.
Once back in her office, she’d cleared out all her personal items from her desk, dropped her badge at the front desk and left. The first person she’d called had been Rose.
From then on, she’d vowed to live life on her terms. Not worry about what her family or anyone else thought or said. She owed no one an explanation for her feelings or decisions. Both triumphs and mistakes were hers alone.
As it should be.
Why then did she keep coming back to Zach?
Over the past few days, whenever she did even the smallest thing, she wondered what he might think of it. As if he had some great influence over her mind.
Crazy.
He might be hot, but he wasn’t the force that turned the world.
Another beep from her phone.
This time her eldest brother, Ezra.
Now, that one could go all the way to hell and back. He’d been the worst of the lot and always had been. Even as children he’d bullied and berated her when he’d been nothing but the spoiled golden child.
Reject.
Whatever they wanted wasn’t important. If someone in the family died, Rose would call her. Until then, she wasn’t feeling it. She’d already taken a good day and turned it into a downer because of them. No need to push it all the way over the ledge into the abyss.
Why did she still let them push her buttons? She was a fully grown adult living her own life. No reason to give them that power any longer. They ceased being important when they’d shown her what she was worth in their eyes. And it hadn’t been much.
The Gus Stop was crowded for a Sunday night. Normally, Zach would be home in bed by now, getting ready for the eight a.m. Genetics class. Not tonight. Nervous energy poured through him hot as lava. Sleep, even with the help of an aid, would be a long time in coming.
Other members of the Tortured Angels sat around the bar, a few of them shot pool. Travis, Cole, and Jode were at a table playing poker. Zach pulled out the empty chair and sat with them.
“Want dealt in on the next hand?” Cole didn’t even look up over his cards as he spoke.
“No. Looking for diversion, not to lose my life savings.” When these three played, they played hard and deep. Zach saw little point in losing money, only to win it back the next week. No, he’d rather put his money in investments and watch it grow. Penny ante was all he’d allow himself. Not having grown up the way he had.
Poverty left deep scars.
Painful, unhealed scars.
Travis shot him a glance then tipped his head in the direction of the pool table. Jaelee, a lithe and limber brunette he’d fucked a few times, was hanging all over Danton. “I’m sure you could pry her away from him if you wanted. She always did have a thing for you.”
Zach shook his head. “I won’t get between them for a casual.”
What he wanted, he couldn’t have and it was driving him fucking insane. Not once in all the years he’d been teaching had he wanted one of his students as badly as he did Tovah. Not even when he was closer to their age. Now, in his mid-thirties, they held little appeal for him.
Not that he’d cross that line.
But it was getting harder every day to deny her. Not when he’d known the idea of her months—even years—before meeting her in the flesh.
And what lovely flesh.
Jaelee chose that moment to turn around and smile at him over her shoulder. Damn, he must’ve been staring at them while thinking of Tovah.
What Jaelee did and who she did it with was none of his business. Had never been his business. He’d made that plain enough when they’d hooked up.
Travis leaned closer. “Bach said your new neighbor is hot.”
Bach had better keep his mouth shut about Tovah. To prove it didn’t matter one way or another, Zach lifted a shoulder.
“You playing or chatting?” Cole threw a couple of twenty-dollar chips into the pot.
“Playing. Playing.” Travis looked at his cards, then threw one on the discard pile. “Hit me.”
He took the card Cole handed him and scrutinized the hand. Travis had no idea about a poker face. Not even the first thing, which made it even more amazing that he won as much as he lost. Maybe it was the fact instead of a few tells, he had so damn many it kept the other players guessing.
The philosophy was one he could get behind. Keep people guessing and off-balance and they never got close. Never knew the real person beneath.
But was that what he really wanted?
In a room full of people, with conversations and music, moving around him; the click of pool balls and the thunk of darts in a board, he was lonely. Not the superficial kind that came with passing boredom, but the soul-deep variety that made one ache for connection.
When he felt like this was when he became particularly reckless.
The door opened and Dirx entered. His expression guarded and eyes sad. He went straight to the bar to order.
That wasn’t the face of a man who had been on a date with the best damn woman on the planet. Instead, he looked like one who had his heart ripped out and fed to him.
“What the hell?” Zach was up on his feet and heading to the bar before good sense and logic kicked in.
He shouldered in next to Dirx. “You’re in late.”
Dirx didn’t even look at him. He picked up the drink Gus sat in front of him and took a long pull from it. When he lowered it again, he turned a bleak gaze to Zach. “You’re not exactly in by curfew.”
“What happened?” Zach demanded.
“What are you talking about?” Dirx frowned for a moment before his expression cleared. “With Tovah?”
“Yes, with Tovah. Who else would I be asking about?”
Dirx waved the comment away. “I don’t know.” He was quiet for a moment, then. “She’s a real lady.”
“Yeah, then why do you look like your world ended?”
Dirx huffed. “It’s nothing to do with Tovah. If anything, she said something that made me think.”
Oh, great. He turned Tovah loose on his friend and she provoked some deep pain in Dirx that had surfaced.
Instead of going for the easy insult about Dirx and thinking, he gave a nod to Gus to hit Dirx with another drink. “What she got you thinking about?”
Dirx was quiet for a moment. Then, “Ghosts. Just ghosts.”
Those words haunted Zach long into the night and the next day. He hated to see his friend so messed up about something Tovah had stirred and next time he saw her, he was going to ask her about it. Unfortunately, he didn’t see her again until class on Thursday and he was damned if he was going to ask her about it in class.
Not even during break. Too many ears on too many young women who looked at him as if he’d invented sex and they were willing lab assistants. No thanks. Not worth his job.
The fact they weren’t even subtle about it made this class even more hazardous than usual. Over the years, he’d had his share of students who clamored for his attention, some even bold enough to pass him notes, or leave “presents” behind in his office. And he used that term loosely. One present had been an extremely graphic nude picture. He’d destroyed it the moment he’d gotten home and never mentioned it to the student or admin. Foolish perhaps, but he felt as if pretending he’d never seen it was the better part of valor.
The class was quiet, as they worked on their tests. Tovah’s head was down and concentration absolute. Zach watched her. When she didn’t know an answer immediately, she lifted her pencil and tapped her lip a few times while thinking. Then she’d scrunch up her face, her mouth moving, reading the question over again.
Warmth traveled up and through his body. Did she have any idea how incredibly gorgeous she was and how adorable her actions?
No, she probably had no clue. If she did, would she use it against him—against other men?
Since the class was double the time due to meeting only once a week, the first half of the evening was slotted for the test. After the break, they would come back for the lecture on the next section. Too much material to cover to let the students go early. He’d be remiss as a professor to do otherwise.
As people finished, they turned in their papers and left the room. The dark-haired young woman who invited him out a few weeks before—Eloisa—slid her paper to him. A sheet of notebook paper was trapped underneath it.
Zach pretended not to see it. He’d look at it later and destroy it as he did all the others.
Victoria, the TA for the science department, came into the classroom.
She approached lectern where he stood and handed him a piece of paper. “Dr. Burns needs a favor.”
“Why didn’t he text me?”
She raised a shoulder. “I have no idea.”
“All right.” He took the folded note and opened it. Family emergency. He needed someone to take over his classes the next couple of days. Zach frowned at Victoria. She was a grad student. “You can cover his classes.”
Her eyes widened. She shook her head vehemently. “What? No. I’m not ready.”
“You are. At least take half of them.” He glanced over the schedule Dr. Burns had included. “I’ll take the 400 Micro the 200 Genetics. You can take the level one-hundred classes. If you need any assistance, then ask. You’ll do fine.”
She swallowed hard and nodded. “Okay. I can do that.”
“I have confidence you’ll do just fine.”
A breath eased out of her, and she hugged her computer case to her chest like an electronic shield. She must have been on her way off campus when she’d been given the note to deliver.
“Go on home and get some sleep. Don’t worry about this. You’ve got it.”
“Thank you.” She bobbed.
Did she just curtsey to him? What a funny, quirky young woman.
He smiled at her retreating back and noticed several women in the part of the circle facing him watching the exchange. He pointed at their papers with a look for them to get back to work.
Victoria had been one of his students her freshman year. She was bright and clever, but she second-guessed herself into a state of near frozen panic. Over the years, he’d tried to instill academic confidence in her. As a TA, he thought of her more as a colleague than a student. A right she’d earned through hard work and collegiate excellence.
This would be good for her. He only hoped she made the most of it.