Chapter 30
THIRTY
Sawyer
Last week had been a mess. A full-on, static in my skull, can’t hear my own thoughts kind of mess. We won the game, which should’ve had me riding high heading into the playoffs, but all I could think about was the ice-cold silence from Ellie.
My phone vibrated on the counter. I looked at it to see she finally replied to my text.
We still on for tonight at 9? I sent you the details.
Of course. I can have Ben swing by your place to grab you?
Aren’t I supposed to be the one picking you up?
Security detail and all. Complicates things
Alright, alright. See you soon.
Can’t wait.
Can’t wait? She moaned my name like it was the only word she knew, went quiet for a whole week, and now that was what she sends me?
Can’t wait.
She was definitely shaken that night and made it clear it couldn’t happen again. I’d been reeling ever since.
I forced myself into the tux I kept tucked away for special occasions, even though I was crawling out of my skin. Then, I pulled out my phone and called the only other person who knew the full story.
Colt answered after a few rings with a grunt that somehow managed to sound both exhausted and judgmental.
“Well, good to hear from you too,” I muttered.
“What do you want?”
I started pacing the living room. “I know emotional expression isn’t your thing, but could you pretend to be a decent brother for, like, two minutes?”
“I am a decent brother. You’re just a pain in the ass. What’s going on?”
“I’m spiraling over here.”
“Ellie?”
“Ellie.” I dragged a hand down my face.
“What happened?” He was quiet for a beat, and then his voice uncharacteristically softened. “You fucked her, didn’t you?”
“Well…”
“Sawyer,” he scolded.
“We didn’t sleep together, but something happened.”
“Define something.”
“She might have walked in on me…doing, um, manly things. And then she stayed and did…uh, womanly things?”
Colt let out a low, rough laugh. “Jesus fucking Christ. You stroked one out, and she watched? You serious?”
I groaned. “Yeah, and then she went silent for a week. Total radio silence.”
“Sounds about right,” Colt replied, his voice dry as ever.
“I think I freaked her out.” I winced.
“No shit.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
“No one means to jerk off in front of their fake girlfriend, Sawyer,” he deadpanned.
“I didn’t know she was gonna walk in.” My voice rose slightly. “Then I just kinda asked her to stay, and she did!”
Colt grunted. “You need help.”
“I’m seriously trying here, man. I like her. Like, not fake dating like her. Like her, like her.”
I could hear the faint sound of him shifting around, probably leaning back somewhere with that permanent scowl of his. “So talk to her. You’ve got that gala tonight, don’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s your window,” he said. “Be honest.”
“Be honest?”
“Yeah, dumbass. Drop the golden boy shit for five minutes and tell her how you feel.”
I blinked at the wall. “I should do that?”
“Um, yeah. You should.” I could practically hear him shaking his head at me.
“Oh…okay. That was almost useful.”
“Don’t get used to it,” Colt muttered, ending the call.
A couple of hours later, Ellie called. She was on her way and wanted to stop in to use the bathroom before we left. When the knock came, I opened the door—and every coherent thought I had cleared out.
She was… Fuck. She was stunning. Black dress. Red lips. Hair that looked like it had been touched by actual angels. My hand shot out to the doorframe to steady myself when my knees literally went weak.
“Ellie,” I said, my breath catching. “Wow. You look beautiful.”
I could see her mask in place, pushing down everything that had happened last week at Christmas, and I wasn’t sure if I was grateful for that or not.
Her gaze dragged slowly down my frame and back up. “Not too bad yourself, handsome.”
My face went hot. “Thanks. Come in.”
Ben, who stood a respectable distance away, cleared his throat. “I’ll be right here when you’re ready.”
“Appreciate it,” I said, not taking my eyes off her.
“Thanks, Ben.” She stepped inside, her heels clicking softly, and scanned the place. “Thanks for letting me run up. I was so busy getting ready, I forgot to pee, and as soon as I got in the car, I went into crisis mode.”
“All good.” I gestured to the hallway. “First door on the left.”
She gave me a grateful nod and disappeared down the hall, her dress swaying behind her in a way that made me want to sink to my knees and repent between her pretty thighs.
I forced myself to breathe, to keep my thoughts in check, but the longer she stayed away, the harder it got. I couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to help her out of that dress. No matter how hard I fought it, my mind played out every detail against my will.
After a few minutes, her voice floated out. “Um, Sawyer?”
I straightened. “Yeah?”
“Can you help me?”
There was a beat. “Uh…help you pee?” I asked cautiously.
“No,” she said, trying to hold back a laugh. “The zipper. I can’t get it down.”
“Oh. Yeah.” I swallowed hard and walked toward the hallway. “Of course.”
She stood in the doorway now, framed by light, holding her hair up with one hand. Her eyes met mine, and she dropped her hair back down.
“Hi,” she murmured.
“Hey.”
I stepped forward and pulled her into me, my arms going around her without permission. I breathed her in. “I missed you, El.”
“Yeah,” she said against my chest. “Me too.”
I pulled back slower than I needed to. “Okay. Zipper?”
She turned around slowly, sweeping her hair over one shoulder and exposing the delicate line of her spine. The low back of her dress dipped just enough to make my mouth go dry.
I stepped in close enough to smell her perfume. My fingers lifted without thinking, brushing the nape of her neck where a single curl had fallen loose. She shivered under my touch, breath catching.
My hand followed the path of her spine, barely touching, just enough to feel goosebumps rise on her skin. I found the zipper and curled my fingers around it, her body stiffening ever so slightly.
Then, I started to pull.
Every inch the zipper gave way, my pulse ticked up another beat.
Her bare back was revealed slowly, teasingly, like the universe was daring me to keep going.
I stopped just shy of the curve at the small of her back, and my hand stayed there a second too long.
Maybe two. I think her breathing had changed. Mine definitely had.
Neither of us said a word. I could’ve pressed my mouth to her shoulder, buried my face in her neck, and told her all the things I’ve been dying to say. Instead, I stepped back, forcing air into my lungs like it wasn’t suddenly heavy with the weight of wanting her.
“Okay,” I said, my voice hoarse. “You’re unzipped.”
She spun around fast, cheeks pink. “Thanks. I’m gonna…do the actual bathroom part now.”
“Right. Of course.” I backed away, half-stumbling into the kitchen, fleeing temptation.
I poured a glass of water and stared out the window at the city, trying to regain my control. A few minutes later, she stepped out of the bathroom, holding her dress up with both hands.
“Think I can trouble you into zipping me back up?” A crooked little smile tugged at her lips.
Trouble? I was already in it.
I held out my hand. “Turn around.”
I zipped her back up, careful to keep my hands steady, my gaze somewhere safe—anywhere but the curve of her neck or the way her shoulder blades shifted. I tried not to get caught up in the Ellie haze once again.
Except I was sure I’d always be under her spell.
I tapped her once she was zipped back up, and she turned to face me.
I cleared my throat. “How are you feeling about this?”
She tilted her head, catching my gaze. “The gala?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m fine. Great. I’ve done stuff like this a thousand times. I’m used to it.”
“But not with me,” I said, attempting to shake off all the tension.
She smirked, slow and teasing, but there was something softer beneath it. “No, that part is new.”
I stepped back and swept into a dramatic little bow. “Then allow me to make my gala debut as your boyfriend.”
She rolled her eyes, but her lips curved. “Fake boyfriend. You forgot the fake part.”
“Did I?”