Lillian
I unlocked my door and shut it quickly behind me, I listened for the sound of his bike leaving. Today has been one crazy day after another.
I slid my arms around my stomach, I feel myself getting weak again. All my insecurities have been pushed to the max because of him. Why was I letting him get under my skin? I roll my eyes and head upstairs. I put on my Pajamas and finally looked at my phone.
I saw the girls message me asking me how the date was going. I groaned. I called them both and put them in a group call.
“Lills! How did it go?”
Mary asks me and I sigh.
“Yeah, tell us everything that happened!”
Liz says and I chuckled.
“It started off really great, he took me to this amazing spot with such a beautiful view.”
I continue to say.
“But it may have turned a bit sour towards the ending but then went great and then went awkward.”
I tell them as I take my shoes off.
“What do you mean what happened?”
Liz asked and I can hear Mary say,
“Did he do something to you?”
I shook my head taking a deep breath.
“He took me to the little cafe I used to go to when I was younger with my dad, and I was going to order a salad and-”
Suddenly Mary cuts me off,
“Did you say salad? You never get a salad!”
I laugh and speak.
“Yea I know, he cut me off though as I was ordering it and ended up ordering for me.”
I say and hear Elizabeth say,
“Ok and? That's what you Like Lilly? What's wrong with him ordering for you? I mean yea ok; it may have come off rude, but clearly, he knew you didn’t want a salad.”
I know she’s right; truth is I wasn’t entirely sure why I was so angry with him when he ordered for me. I think back to how he looked so hurt at his attempt to make me happy and all I did was trample all over his sincere gesture to me.
I tell them everything that happened after the kiss, the way he made me feel, everything. Mary was super excited while Liz was cautious about it all. As I should be as well but seeing him be vulnerable before telling me about his mom.
I could tell he didn’t want to talk about it, but yet he still let himself talk about her around me. To me that meant so much, for him to be able to do that. I sat there recalling the moment when he kissed me, the hunger I felt in the kiss. I touch my lips remembering how his lips felt on mine and how he tasted like Mint and Strawberries.
I smile, but it fades when I remember him touching my stomach,
“Lilly Darlin, you need to lose this stomach I mean look at these stretch marks. They look absolutely disgusting, when I touch them, it feels like ridges. Here eat this celery stick, trust me you will thank me.”
I feel the sadness start to overcome me again, remembering how disgusting I truly am. I remembered Maxwell telling me that just a week before I caught him cheating on me.
I remembered him yelling at me for intruding as if I was the one in the wrong. I remember every little thing that happened that day when I found out of his infidelity. Him calling me a disgusting pig and how if I had put out more maybe he wouldn’t have to find strange women and have sex with them in our home.
I remember how my hand felt stinging when I had slapped him, and how he hit me back and wouldn’t let up. Mary and Elizabeth rushed to my side in the hospital telling me I needed to leave him.
But those thoughts started to fade when I saw the message that popped up on my screen.
Hey Lillypad, I just wanted to say thank you for going out with me tonight. I really enjoyed it. I also enjoyed the kiss we shared. I hope we can do it again, and soon?
The memory of Maxwell is beginning to fade slowly but surely, Adonis is making me believe that there are actual good and genuine men out there.
I gather the courage to message him back, and smile as I type my response to him. He really is bringing the best parts of me back. I only hope he truly meant everything he said and did tonight.
“Adonis”
I say his name and let it linger on my tongue. Was it really ok for me to let someone new into my life? After everything that I have been through, can I truly trust him? I hadn’t let anyone else into my life since the day I left Maxwell. I vowed to never see him again and that is a promise I am going to keep.
I roll over on my bed, resting my head on my pillow thinking about the way Adonis laughed and smiled and the kisses and intimate moments we shared. As I think about all these things I let sleep take me into her arms.