Adonis
What have I done? I think to myself as I withdraw myself from inside Lillian. I watch as she winces a bit.
“Are you ok, did I hurt you?”
I asked her worried because after all this was her first time.
“No, no I’m ok just getting used to feeling empty” she says smirking at me and my heart skips a beat. What was I thinking this wasn't right. I am only supposed to use her for intel on Maxwell, that piece of shit. I help her up as we get dressed. I look over at her and she truly is beautiful.
“Remember son, love makes you weak. We Malith men are not that.”
I hear my father's voice ring in my ears. I know he is right; I am not weak, and I will not let anyone get in the way of a mission.
“ you, ok?”
I hear Lillian ask and I am brought back from the depths of my thoughts. I sigh knowing I need to push her away. God I am going to sound like an ass and regret what needs to be done right now. I have to keep her away, I have to push her away for her own sake. For my sake, and for the sake of this mission.
“Yeah, I um I’m good, Lills. Come on, I'm sure they are waiting for us.”
I say and walk away leaving her by herself in the cave. I walk away from her without looking back at her and see the guys with her friends.
“Hey! What the hell?!”
I hear her call for me, and I don’t look at her. I keep walking and suddenly they are all looking at us.
“! I’m talking to you.”
I hear her say it again and she catches my arm. I pull it away from her grasp not wanting to feel weaker than I already am.
“Did I do something wrong? Was I not good? Because I can do better, I can learn-”
“No, it’s not that. I just don't”
God why is this so hard to do. Why has she made me so god damn weak. I need to remember who I am. I am a Malith and we Malith men never fall in love.
“You don't what?”
She looks at me with hurt in her eyes.
“Do you regret it?”
She asks me and I look into her eyes. I see the panic in them but a hint of determination too.
“No, I don’t regret it at all Lillypad.”
I say walking up to her and placing my hand on her cheek.
“But maybe we moved too fast, I’m just worried you will regret this.”
I tell her not being able to bring myself to end it here, not right now.
“Kinda late for you to think this, don't ya think? I mean you did just take my virginity. So honestly I think we are moving at a great pace.”
She tells me with her smile that I have grown to adore. I take her hand and place a kiss on it, and I see her eyes ignite with a fire in them.
“Now Lillypad behave, unless you want me to take you right here in front of your friends.”
I smirk at her, and she sighs, and we walk over to where everyone is. We watch as the girls run back to the water Liam comes up next to me.
“, you're in too deep.”
He says to me, and I don’t take my eyes off of her. Not for a second than Noah says to me,
“, you are going to compromise the mission. Your feelings will get in the way again and then-.”
I snap my eyes over to him and grab his forearm making sure to put as much pressure on it as I can.
“I will do what needs to be done. She is nothing more than a means to an end. I will be able to kill her. Even if I have to strangle her with my own two hands, I will do it. The mission will always come first.”
I let his arm go as his face was filled with shock.
“Fix your faces the girls are coming.”
I tell them.
“, I know this isn’t what you want to hear but you are not your father. You can be-”
I cut Liam off.
“Be what? Weak? No, I can’t. Not even for her, I need to be able to do this. Or else I will never be free of my father.”
I tell them and they look at each other.
That's right. I won’t ever be free if I keep showing weakness. She is a weakness, and I need to do what I do best with a weakness. I need to snuff it out.