Chapter Twelve
The words were out before I could rein them in. The full force of my anger toward my stepfather hitting Emma square on.
She looked at me now. Her tormented green depths shaming me with their shock and rising humility over my words. How could I be so heartless? She had already explained herself to me, to make her think on that again when she was so bruised and battered emotionally was downright cruel.
“I’m so sorry, Emma,” I hurried out. “I just hate seeing him treat you like this, to speak to you like he does, to have him all over you like that ... it makes me sick.”
“He only does it in front of you to get a rise out of us,” she said quietly. “Especially as he knows deep down it’s you I can’t get out of my head.”
Her startling confession blew me away, a rush of elation making my head spin. She couldn’t get me out of her head...
“I don’t know why you look so surprised,” she said. “But then, I guess it makes sense with what you know of me and my relationship with your stepfather and what I do for him ... I suppose you think what we’ve shared is just another fling for me?”
She said it so matter-of-factly, her voice lacking any warmth or emotion that it was almost eerie.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized again, wanting desperately to take it all back, to hear her confess her feelings for me without my stepfather overshadowing them. “I want more than anything to believe what we have is special.”
“It was special,” she said, a slight spark to her voice as she corrected my tense. “But your stepfather is a dangerous man, Abi, and I refuse to put you in harm’s way anymore.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’ll do everything I can to help free you of him, but I will not put you at risk by leading you astray any longer.”
“Astray? Are you kidding me?” I could feel the panic rising once more, only this time it had nothing to do with my stepfather and everything to do with fear of losing the woman before me.
“Emma, you never led me anywhere, I came willingly because my feelings for you are too strong to resist. I have never been so out of control in my life. You fill my head twenty-four seven. You’re all I care about — mind, body, and soul.
To think you may feel the same, even just a little, makes me so unbelievably happy. ”
“I know you think your feelings are special but truth is, you just haven’t met the right someone yet,” she continued, her tone almost distracted.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Had she not listened to what I had just said?
Did she not believe me? She was looking away from me now, her eyes watching her fingers as she toyed mindlessly with her cutlery, her words delivered as though on autopilot.
.. “but you will, Abi, given enough time, you will meet the right person and they will sweep you off your feet. You don’t need me—”
“Stop right there, Emma!” I couldn’t listen to any more. “Don’t assume to tell me how I feel or treat me like a child who doesn’t know better. I know how real my feelings are for you and I won’t let you push me away.”
She lifted her gaze to me, her eyes glittering in the soft light as she considered my words. “I want you to be safe, Abi.”
“I know that, but me being safe and our relationship having a future aren’t mutually exclusive, you must see that.”
Her eyes were plagued with her internal struggle and I saw my chance. “Tell me you don’t have feelings for me too, tell me I am not special, tell me you don’t want to have a future together and I will drop it now.”
“I...” she broke off, her elbows planting into the table as she dropped her face into her hands.
“You what?” I pushed, my confidence growing. “You only have to tell me you don’t want me and I will never speak of it again.”
“I can’t,” she said, her eyes lifting beneath her palms, the adoration I saw there taking my breath away. “I can’t say any of those things.”
“Why?” I asked forcefully, rising out of my seat to walk toward her. “Tell me why, Emma...”
She followed my approach, her eyes almost fearful, her hands lowering to the table as she pressed back into her chair. I knew she was evading my touch, scared that her resolve would crumble on contact and I relished it.
“You know why,” she breathed.
I came to rest against the table next to her, aware that she struggled to keep her gaze off my bare legs as I slowly crossed them alongside her, my skirt gathering to mid-thigh with the move.
A small part of me felt cruel to tease her so, but I didn’t want her to deny me, to deny us...
“Why don’t you tell me?” I said, my hand reaching out to cup her face.
She acted as though stung, her face recoiling from the touch.
Confused, I lowered my gaze to where my hand met with her skin and cursed aloud.
Beneath my touch was the unmistakable swell and tinge of a fresh bruise running high across her cheekbone.
The heavy layer of foundation had been enough to conceal it from afar but now I was up close. ..
“What did he do to you?” The words were barely audible as they left my lips.
“He showed me who was boss,” she replied simply, her eyes closing as she leant into my softened touch.
I shook my head, not wanting to believe it but seeing it all the same.
“Now do you get it? Why I have to push you away?” she whispered, her tone both weary and desperate as she opened her eyes to look back up at me. “I couldn’t live with myself if anything more were to happen to you.”
My head was still shaking, my mind trying to push out the horrific images of Dad assaulting Emma. Just how had he done it to create such a mark? Had he punched her, slapped her, pushed her down hard upon a surface while...
“Abi, listen to me, please, I am totally crazy about you.” She grasped hold of my hand against her face, her voice turning urgent as she realized my head was lost to my thoughts. “Listen to me, I have to know you are safe, that I haven’t put you at risk, if he did this to you, if he ... if he....”
I hushed her. I knew where she was going but, frankly, enough damage had been done. “I think it’s a bit late to worry about any of that.”
Awash with guilt for events to date, she frowned at me. “Yes, but before I had no idea just how bad he could be. Now I know, I can’t possibly put you in that sort of danger.” She released her hold over my hand as she added, “No matter how hard these feelings are to suppress.”
I could feel the question on the tip of my tongue.
“What exactly did he do to you?” but I couldn’t form it, as scared as I was to hear the truth.
Instead, I looked to the future. “What if I told you the things that I discovered in his study mean that we can both be free of him? That we would have the financial security to have a future together if that is what we wanted?”
She eyed me, her disbelief written in her face, but then she nodded. “I’m listening,” she said, her hand coming up to rest against my exposed thigh, the move so casual I wasn’t sure she had realized the intimacy of it.
It hadn’t gone unnoticed by my body though, the frisson of excitement radiating from her touch had my insides positively thrumming and I lowered my hands to my sides to stabilize myself.
“But I warn you, Abi,” she said, the severity of her tone drawing my thoughts out of my panties momentarily to concentrate. “Getting you out of his clutches takes priority over everything else.”
That was enough for me. Once she knew the financial security I could offer, I was certain she would come round to my thinking. She had to.
“Fair enough,” I said, and relaxing once more to enjoy her touch upon my skin, I plowed straight in. “Like I said to you before, I hadn’t meant to go snooping yesterday, I ended up in his study by mistake. But having just come from Dr Tate’s where I’d bumped into you, I was totally freaked.”
She cringed and my heart went out to her, how she could possibly feel bad for something totally out of her control.
“It’s not your fault,” I said. “It had never occurred to me that Dad would have engaged the doctor’s services just to keep tabs on me but seeing, you there, hearing what you had to say, well, it threw so many things into question. ”
“I shouldn’t have said what I did,” she remarked, her guilt ringing through in her tone.
“No, I’m glad you did. When I think of the stuff I had been planning on telling Tate in that session” — I gave an involuntary shiver and she circled her fingers against my skin, the caress instantly soothing — “let’s just say it’s better he didn’t hear any of it.
And then when I hid in Dad’s study, I couldn’t ignore the opportunity to learn more.
It didn’t take me long to scan the files he keeps and find one of interest.”
“Which file?” she asked, her curiosity well and truly piqued, her fingers slipping unconsciously — or to my erotically charged self, consciously — higher.
“It was a file on my mother,” I said, my voice elevating with my growing arousal as I fought to hurry out the lot for her, hoping it would leave time for more than just words between us.
I told her everything: how I’d believed my mother to be penniless, how my inheritance had been kept from me, my suspicions over Dr Tate.
And I watched as her expression changed with each part of my tale to one of absolute horror.
“Good God,” she exclaimed eventually, her hand stilling against me. “I knew he was devious but I had no idea he would sink as low as to do all this to a child.”
I uncrossed my legs, hoping the movement would prompt her to restart her caress. “Well, I’m not exactly a child anymore,” I said, my words deliberately suggestive.
“No, you’re certainly not,” she said, her eyes flashing with blatant interest and causing my heart to leap into my throat, happiness at seeing the old Emma once more adding fuel to the fire already burning inside me. “But that’s downright evil.”