11. Mimi
Mimi
Three days later, I was miserable and still moping around. At least Felix was back, and he cheered me somewhat. Toddler laughs, and pudgy cheeks cured most things. Not how much I’d hurt Ev, though. I couldn’t stop thinking about the dimming in his eyes when I pushed him away.
More like shoved him.
I was such an ass.
I’d called him when the photos of our fight went live, but he ignored me. I called him again, trying to explain my position. He refused that call, too.
I’d texted, and he’d left me on “Read.” With each rejection, I understood just how much I’d hurt Evan. He was such a good man. Empathetic and genuinely kind, and I’d eviscerated him.
It started with her laser-beam stare the moment I walked into the house. “Adam said Evan had a terrible practice. Unfocused, frazzled. He skated over the logo, which he never does. Want to explain why you broke the goalie before the opening game of the season?”
I scrunched into the corner of the couch. “No.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, her glare moving into new and more frightening territory. “Well, woman up and do it anyway.”
So, I poured out my soul, how hard I tried not to be a burden to her and Adam, how I couldn’t trust my emotions, especially the big, positive ones, because of what had happened so many times with Mom.
That was when Naomi groaned, flopping back on the couch.
“Look, I know she’s our mother, but she is a shit parent and a worse role model.
” Naomi sat up and gave me a baleful stare.
“I thought you trusted me, not her. I didn’t know you were still in contact with her or that she cleared out your account and you’re struggling to pay for living expenses. ”
“Because I didn’t want you to know,” I whispered.
“Well, now I do, so I’m taking care of it.”
I shook my head, but my sister raised her hand, that “don’t mess with me” expression stamped on her face. “I have the money. Adam and I are more than comfortable. We can and will do this for you because I—we—love you.”
I bit my lip as emotion slammed into me.
Before I could say anything, she continued, “And for the record, I fought to take you away from Mom because I wanted to. Because I loved you. You were never a burden. You were and are my baby sister, one of the sweetest people I know, which is why it sucks that I have to tell you that you treated a delightful, perfect-for-you man like trash. That’s not behavior I condone, and I expect you to do your best to make it right. ”
With that, she rose from the couch, hugged me, and kissed my crown. “Felix and I are going to play trains.”
The worst part of my sister’s commentary was that she said aloud what I was already thinking.
Much as I wanted to slink into the bedroom Naomi kept for me and crawl into the bed that wasn’t as comfortable as the one at Evan’s place, I couldn’t.
I may have texted Evan and called, but I’d also hurt him terribly.
The only way to make this right was in person…
even the mere idea of talking to him now made my palms sweat, and my heart rate escalate.
But I claimed to be an adult; I needed to act like one.
I kept telling myself that as I drove to his place.
My hand shook as I knocked on Ev’s door.
When he didn’t answer, my heart sank after another minute of indecision.
I pulled out a pen and scribbled a note that I tucked into the bag of bananas I’d bought him.
With one last look at the door, I headed back to Naomi and Adam’s place, dejection settling in more heavily with each passing mile.
It grew more when Adam returned home, his expression tight with frustration.
“Ev’s got to get his head in the game or we have no chance tomorrow night.”
Guilt squirmed through my gut, and I excused myself so that Adam could talk more openly to Naomi.
The next day was Saturday again, and my landlord called to say the air conditioning was still out and would be for another couple of days. I hung out in my room, worried Adam was angry with me.
He popped in before he headed to the arena, no doubt at Naomi’s request. “You’re avoiding me.”
“Yeah,” I admitted. “Because I screwed up with Evan, and that’s screwed up your team.”
“One of the hardest things to learn is how to separate what’s happening in your personal life from your professional one.
” Adam shrugged. “I wasn’t that great at it, but it gets easier with time.
What I can say is that before Evan fell into his head, he was one of the best rookie goalies I’ve worked with. Silas knows that, too.”
“I’m sorry I messed with his head.” Biting my lip, I dropped my gaze. “I messed with mine, too. I was scared.”
“No shame in admitting that,” Adam said. “And I get it. I remember what it felt like when I fell in love with Naomi. I was terrified she wouldn’t feel the same. It’s unsettling, not knowing if the person you care about most cares that much back.”
I nodded, my throat tight.
“But I clearly did a poor job showing you how much I care about you, Meems, because I never, ever want you to doubt that we’re a family.”
My gaze flew to his soft, understanding one.
“You’re my little sister as much as Naomi’s, and I’m pretty damn proud of the woman you’ve become.”
“Even if I broke your goalie?” I asked.
He opened his arms, and I fell against his warm, muscular chest. “Even then.” He kissed my crown. “But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”
“He hasn’t called me. I even went by yesterday with a gift I was pretty sure he’d like.”
“I get the feeling Evan’s working through his own insecurities. Just don’t count him out for needing some time, okay?”
I nodded as Adam squeezed me a little tighter. He stepped back. “All right. Well, it sucks you won’t be there tonight, but I get that Naomi wants time with Felix. So, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I smiled. “Good luck tonight.”
He winked, then headed down the stairs. I’d checked my phone way too many times, and I was tired of being cooped up in my room, so I headed downstairs, looking for a project.
Naomi and Felix were in the kitchen with Ashley, Felix’s manny.
Felix’s tiny hands molded cookies into balls, and his mouth was smeared with chocolate, a good indicator that he was eating his weight in sweets.
That boy loved to eat, not unlike his father, and cookies were his favorite. Also like his dad.
I helped them with the rest of the trays as much for something to do as to keep Felix from having a tummy ache.
We ate dinner, and then Naomi bathed Felix before Ashley put him to bed so that Naomi and I could watch the game. Well, Naomi watched while I cleaned the kitchen, then reorganized Naomi’s spice drawer—anything to keep from having to look at Ev’s beautiful face.
It was after nine when my phone blew up with texts.
“Mimi,” Naomi called, voice strangled. “You need to see this.”
“I’m busy alphabetizing—”
“Now, Mimi.”
I shuffled into the living room.
Naomi stood in front of the TV, remote frozen in her hand, trying not to cry. A post-game interview with Evan, still in partial gear, hair damp, cheeks flushed.
“Did they win?” I asked.
“Yes,” Naomi said. “Now, listen.”
The reporter was one of the ones from U of H. “Evan, fans are loving the energy tonight. Practice this week was sluggish. What changed?”
He hesitated, then cleared his throat. “I, uh… actually need to say something.”
The reporter blinked. “About the game?”
“Sort of.”
Naomi grabbed my hand, tugging me to the couch. I barely made it before my legs gave out.
“I messed something up,” Evan says, staring straight into the camera now. “Like…epically. I thought if I kept everything controlled—my routine, my head, my life—then I wouldn’t lose anything important.” He grimaced. “Turns out that’s not how life works.”
Naomi made a weird squeak.
“You know about my girlfriend,” he continued. “She’s brave and stubborn and way smarter than me. She alphabetized my pantry.”
Naomi whispered, “He thinks your weirdness is adorable. Oh my heart.” She clutched at her chest, her expression blissful.
“I thought she’d be safer if I didn’t ask her to stay.
” Evan exhaled, dropping his head. A damp piece of hair stuck to his cheek.
“But that was the dumbest save attempt of my life.” He looked directly into the camera lens.
“I got your note, and I definitely want the woman who eats the ugly banana slices.” His blue-green eyes were so earnest. “I want the woman who calls herself out when she’s being a coward.
Who calls me out for building up expectations in my head. ”
Tears streamed down my cheeks.
“So, Emmy,” he said, “I’m done trying to protect myself from losing you. I already did that once. I don’t intend to ever fight with you again…as long as you’ll have me.”
Naomi pressed a hand to her mouth.
The camera cuts. Chaos erupts behind him.
Naomi turned to me. “Now, thank me for recording that so you can watch it a million more times.”
“I…”
“Yes, I already watched it. No way I was letting you see that live. Now, put on some lipstick and decent pants. We’re going to the arena.”