Chapter 26 Emma
TWENTY-SIX
EMMA
MARCH
“That was crazy the other night when Leroy dropped his gloves. I can’t believe he still does that at his age.”
Harlan chuckled and sat back as our server came through with appetizer plates and a piping hot dish of brussels sprouts. He handed out the plates.
“I’ll tell him you said that,” Harlan said. “We take any opportunity to give Leroy shit about his age.”
“You shouldn’t!” I said. “I can’t imagine doing what you all do at my age.”
“Yeah, grandma,” Liam teased.
“Hey,” Harlan warned, but I just stuck my tongue out at Liam.
“Liam likes to pretend I’m old when I’m probably the youngest mom in his graduating class.”
“Yeah, do you know how annoying it is to get the constant ‘your mom’s hot’ comments?” Liam added, forking a brussels sprout directly off the shared plate.
I slapped the back of his hand. “Use your plate!”
“Well, your mom is hot,” Harlan said. “But your high school cronies can’t have her.”
“Ew!” I objected. “Like I’d even consider that. That’s disgusting.”
“Oh, but twenty-six is okay?” Liam jabbed.
“Harlan is an adult and is very mature for his age,” I said, and he narrowed his eyes at me. “Sometimes.”
His head sagged onto his shoulders. “There it is.”
Liam and I carried on, but I noticed Harlan mentally checking out. Did I actually hurt his feelings? We joked around all the time and really, he’d been nothing but good to me.
I mean, he was annoying at work and took delight in tormenting me in the bedroom, but that was all part of the fun.
“Royce?” Liam looked at him expectantly.
Harlan shook out of his daze. “What? Sorry. Zoned out.”
“I said I can’t believe you guys are third in the division.”
“Right? Don’t jinx it, though. We still have to win tomorrow, and a whole bunch more. It’s too early to run clinching scenarios for the playoffs. How’s your team doing?”
Liam looked a little more distant. “Our last game is coming up. Senior night. Then the playoffs.”
My heart squeezed. Everything about the impending transition in our lives gave me pause. I was unflappably proud of Liam. I was sad to think he wouldn’t live with me anymore, but even more, I was afraid of how it would go if he didn’t leave.
“It’s bittersweet, isn’t it?” Harlan said. “I remember those games. You’re ready to move on, but it’s scary too.”
“Exactly,” Liam said.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, Jeff on the caller ID. “It’s your dad.” I swiped to answer. “Hello?”
“Thank god,” Jeff rushed out. “Liam hasn’t been answering my texts. You got him off the road, right?”
“Yeah, sorry. We’re out to dinner now.”
“Where’s his car? Did you wait for the tow truck?”
I pulled at my neck and tried to stay cool. “No, but Harlan called for one. They’re taking it to the shop he likes.”
Jeff was silent for a beat. “Royce?”
“Yeah.” I cast a quick glance at the man in question sitting across from me.
“Does he know where the good ones are? He probably goes to some expensive one.”
“Jeff, he’s from Columbus. I’m sure he knows a good mechanic.”
Jeff hissed out a breath. “But the expense.”
“I don’t think we need to worry about it,” I said, more pointedly.
“What, like, he’s paying to fix our son’s car? Are you guys serious or something?”
I could feel Harlan actively trying not to look at me.
One car breaks down, and suddenly I have to explain myself to everyone and their dad?
Everything was just coming at me so fast. Boyfriend.
Serious. And who had I become that I’d let Harlan pay for something for my son beyond a stick of gum?
I picked at a divot in the wood table. “Can we drop it? Do you want to talk to Liam?”
I handed the phone off and brightened my face to reset. Harlan’s face was unreadable. I forked one of the brussels sprouts from my plate and popped it in my mouth. I groaned as the flavor spread over my tongue.
“Good, right?” Harlan said, watching me with expectant eyes.
“The smoked salt instead of bacon is a really nice choice. Might have to get some of that.”
“I have some. I’ll share it with you,” he said.
My cheeks flared hot and my stomach tingled at the memory of the other things Harlan and I had shared.
Good girls share.
I was thankful to be sitting next to Liam and not across from him. I trained my gaze on my plate so he wouldn’t look at me.
The meal went on easily. Liam dropped his act of being rude to Harlan and it was a relief. Maybe Liam was trying to warm up to the idea of Harlan and me together.
We returned to my house after dinner, and Harlan gestured to my porch swing. “Can we sit out here for a minute?”
“Sure.” It was a perfect spring evening: a light, warm breeze, and a perfect ambient temperature.
He seemed shifty and I wondered what was bothering him.
“I’m getting out of here,” Liam said, leaning past the door’s threshold. “Thanks for dinner, Royce. And helping with my car.”
“Your mom did the hard part. I was just there for support,” Harlan said.
I sat on the porch swing and patted the seat next to me. “Come sit.”
I pecked Harlan’s cheek when he sat and he took my hand. “Thanks for helping us out. And taking us to dinner. And,” I leaned toward the house to make sure Liam wasn’t close, “for being kind to Liam.”
Harlan nodded and rolled his lips through his teeth, focusing on my hand in his. “Emma, do you take me seriously?”
A lump rose in my throat. “Of course.”
He gave me a wry smile. “I know we goof off a lot, but maybe we should set up some things that are off-limits.”
“The comment about you being mature sometimes?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “That stung.”
I put my hand on his leg. “I’m sorry. I realized after I said it that it wasn’t fair to you.”
“Thanks.” He combed his teeth over his bottom lip, thinking. “I feel like nobody takes me seriously. I get paid less as a goalie. I get treated like my performance isn’t that great when, well, you’ve seen me lately. I’m at my best and getting better all the time.”
“You’ve been amazing,” I agreed. “They’re lucky to have you.”
He was quiet for a beat. “I know some of it’s earned. Before the bus, I really didn’t care, or I told myself I didn’t. But now I do. I deserve to be taken seriously.”
“You do.”
“But that includes us, Em. I’m on your team. I need to know you’re on mine. And,” he puffed out a breath, “I can’t do this if you think I’m not worthy.”
“Oh, wow,” I said, putting a hand to my chest. “That’s not it for me at all.”
“Okay. Then what is it?”
I popped my jaw forward, tipping my head to crack my neck.
“I think I’ve been more afraid that you don’t take me seriously because I’m older.
That I’m just a temporary toy you’re going to break and discard after a week.
That the luster is going to wear off and I’ll be replaced for a newer model. A conquest.”
He bobbed his head. “I can understand that insecurity. It works the same for being younger. I mean, you’re a mom of an adult. You’re about to be an empty-nester. And I’m a guy who doesn’t want kids.”
My heart sank, the wind suddenly pulled from my wings.
This was another moment I dreaded: finding out that I was too difficult because Liam was in my life.
But I hadn’t changed for any other man, and I wasn’t about to start now.
“You know Liam’s non-negotiable for me. He’s part of my life and I’m not pushing him out for a relationship. ”
“No, no. Not what I’m saying. I guess I’m asking . . .” He closed his eyes. “This is all ridiculous given what we are right now, but probably better to know now before I let you down.”
“I agree,” I said. “I want to know what you’re worried about.”
“I don’t want to disappoint you if you want more kids, Em. It’s not something I want.”
I coughed out a laugh and Harlan gave me a dirty look. I waved my hands. “Sorry. Sorry. It’s not funny, but the idea of starting over? Now? After being a single mom for twelve years?”
“Well, I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I didn’t know if you were looking for a redo. Start from scratch. With a partner this time.”
“Even if you start with one, partners aren’t guaranteed,” I mused. “But no. I’m not looking for a redo. I don’t believe in redos. What’s done is done and there’s just now. Tomorrow’s not a promise.”
“True,” he said. “Back to those bus accident lessons.”
I reached to hug him and he hauled me into his lap. I looped my arms behind his neck.
“Thanks for bringing it up,” I said. “Really. This is one of the things I like about you.”
Harlan gasped. “Wait. You like me, Chef?”
I fit my hand over his face. “You ass.” He licked my palm and I pulled my hand back. “Ew!”
Harlan gripped my jaw and looked into my eyes before bending to kiss me. He held me close with his thumb on my chin. His voice took on a sweet growl. “Is that one of the things you like about me? Hating me? Having me hate on you?”
“Honestly? It’s my favorite part.”
“Can you be my girlfriend and still hate me?” Harlan had on a big smile and his cheeks had gone pink.
I paused to let his question sink in, chewing my lip. “I heard you call yourself my boyfriend earlier. Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”
He tipped his head back and forth. “Hmm. Yeah. I think I am.”
“Your secret girlfriend?”
“Secret for now,” he said, “not secret forever. And I would be your secret boyfriend. Your only boyfriend, but a secret one.”
I giggled. “Got it.” I bit my bottom lip, drinking in his sunshiny face. “Yeah. I’ll be your secret girlfriend.”