Chapter 34
THIRTY-FOUR
EMMA
APRIL
Liam and I were through half of our iced coffees and rocking through the farmland between Columbus and Cincinnati.
I cherished these moments with him, times when we got to just go have fun, no hockey, no cooking, no hot plans but a semi-flat stadium soda, a hot dog covered in peppers and onions, and my boy.
Paradise.
“So, how bad did Royce embarrass you last night with the kids night thing?”
“Oh my god,” Liam muttered, burying his face in his hands. “It was nice, though. Owen was nice. I met him out there.”
“Oh, yeah, he’s a sweetheart,” I agreed. “We love Owen.”
“Do you love someone else who was out there?” he asked. “Perhaps a certain goalie with a shutout in a shootout?”
I tipped my head to the side. “Has Cordero had a shutout with us yet?”
“Nice try,” Liam said, but was quickly silenced by my car reading my texts.
MARA LEROY
Emma, I’d like to officially invite you to the Rusties WAGs Group. The hazing ritual will start promptly at 8:30 pm
JEANINE SORRENTO
Hell yeah. Big fan of younger men myself. And doing stuff in parking lots, once upon a time ;)
Whatever this was, it wasn’t good.
Liam spoke first. “Ew.” He paused. “Wait. What are they talking about?”
I pressed a button on my car’s stereo and instructed it to call Mara.
“Hey there, future Mrs. Royce,” Mara answered.
“Hey, I’m here with Liam. We’re headed to a Reds game.”
“Aw, fun. Hi, Liam!”
“Hi, Mara,” Liam said.
“So, what made you send that text? And what is Jeanine talking about?”
“Oh.” Mara paused. “Did no one tell you?”
“No?”
“Fuck,” she muttered, and a small voice piped up in the background. “Oops. Yes, one for Mommy in the swear jar!”
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“You should probably talk to Royce, but, shoot, they’re flying now and this is a longer flight. I don’t want to ruin your day out. You guys go have fun at the game.”
“I think you better tell her,” Liam said. “She’s white-knuckling the steering wheel.”
“Right. Well,” Mara let out a nervous laugh, “A picture of you two from the parking lot last night was sent to a lot of the team and their partners.”
A cold sweat prickled on my neck and the car suddenly felt too small. Someone had been watching us. Someone watched us while we had sex for the first time. And yeah, it was our fault for being in a parking lot, but it still felt violating. “Like, what kind of picture?”
“You’re just holding hands,” she said.
“Ooooooh!” Liam teased, and I actually laughed, partially because my son was a goober, and partially from relief that it wasn’t a picture of us having sex. But someone was probably watching us while we did. They probably also had pictures of that. I shivered at the thought.
“Just wait till your kids are teens,” I joked to Mara, but the reality floated in. “Oh god, I don’t want to get fired.”
“Oh, jeez,” Mara said. “I hope you don’t. Getting fired sucks.”
“Mom, you could make SoUPCYCLE happen,” Liam said.
“What’s SoUPCYCLE?” Mara asked.
“It’s just a stupid idea I’ve had for a few years,” I started, but Liam cut me off.
“No, it’s Mom’s really smart idea to turn food waste into soup for soup kitchens and shelters. Coordinate with grocery stores who have on the verge produce.”
“Wait, that’s a great idea,” Mara said. “You know I used to be a grocery buyer, right?”
“And your husband’s rich so he could invest,” Liam said.
“Liam!” I scolded him, but Mara just laughed.
“No, really. I think this might have legs. We should get together soon. See if we can draft up a business plan.”
Liam and I snuck into some seats in the sun. April baseball can be so unpredictable, where it could be snow or boiling hot. There was a cool breeze this day that would be perfectly countered by the sun. This game was poorly attended, so we were able to sprawl out like lizards and soak up the rays.
Liam perked up as the Reds hit a line drive into left field. “Go!” Once the runner was safely at second base, he looked over at me cautiously. “Mom, who is stalking you?”
I stretched my arms overhead, hoping that would quell the shaking in my hands. I didn’t want Liam to pick up on the darker implications of what Mara said, but he wasn’t a kid anymore. I couldn’t fool him with Tooth Fairy logic forever. So, I answered honestly. “I don’t know.”
“Last week, I saw some random lady parked outside our house. And she was just staring at it.”
My throat dried out and every cell in my body stopped whatever cell things they were doing. I sat up and lowered my sunglasses at him. “You’re just telling me this now?”
“I don’t know! I thought I was just being paranoid.”
“What did she look like?” I asked.
“I don’t know. She had a hoodie pulled up and a ballcap on.”
I nodded. “Please tell me if you see anything like that again.”
Liam’s voice was a little more frantic. “Are we safe, Mom? Are you safe?”
“I think so,” I said, but I wasn’t fully convinced.
This was the first time I felt like I really needed Harlan. All this time he had been a nice addition, an augmentation to my already-existing life. I loved the times when he was there, but I didn’t feel like I particularly needed his comfort.
Now, I did.
I wanted him to hold me and tell me everything would be okay.
I wanted the security of his arms and his laugh.
I needed one of his jokes to calm me down.
I wished I had a picture of him to look at, or a Harlan-coded worry stone in my pocket to rub.
But there was no way to get a hold of him while he was flying.
The Reds got their third out on a swing and a miss, leading to the top of the fourth inning. Liam took a deep breath and scanned the Cincinnati skyline. “I think maybe I don’t want to move away from you. I think I’ll keep playing juniors.”
I studied him, trying to figure out what was really going on there. “You’re sure that’s what you want?”
He lifted a shoulder. “Just seems like a waste. If I keep playing hockey, I might get a scholarship.”
“Li, I’ve been getting paid well to teach Harlan.”
He rubbed his hands over his hair, his agitated tell. “Yeah, well, look what that did. No one was stalking you before Royce came around.”
“Honey, if someone is stalking us because of Harlan, it’s not Harlan’s fault.”
My phone rang. “Hey, speak of the devil.” I silenced the call.
“You can answer,” Liam said.
“Nah, this is my time with you.”
“Mom. Your job is at risk. More importantly, someone was taking creepy pictures of you from the bushes after the game last night. You don’t think he’s at all concerned about that? I am.”
He ripped my phone out of my hand and answered. “Hey.”
Liam’s face softened after Harlan spoke for a few seconds. “Yeah, we’re just roasting in the sun. Reds are losing. What’s new.”
Why did my son sound like a middle-aged office worker?
“Did you find out who’s stalking my mom?”
I couldn’t hear what Harlan was saying, but his voice turned more serious.
“Tell her to leave my mom alone. And to stay away from our house.”
Harlan’s tone sounded more panicked.
“Yeah, some lady was sitting in a car outside our house, staring at our porch. Yes, you can talk to her.” Liam held the phone out to me. “Your boyfriend wants to talk to you.”
“Hey,” Harlan said. “Did you hear what I said to Liam?”
“No, fill me in.”
“So, we’re pretty sure Greer was the one who sent the picture, since it went to players and their partners. And it wasn’t anybody new on the team, only people she would have overlapped with.”
“Okay. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“Probably good, since we have a good lead on who it is,” he said. “The team is going to get the police involved. I thought we’d get in trouble, but they’re more worried about security and our safety.”
“What can the police do?” I asked. “We don’t have any proof, do we?”
“Even without proof, we can file restraining orders. I thought it was just going to be me, but if she’s been around your house . . . god, I wish I’d known.”
“What could you have done?”
“I don’t know,” Harlan said quietly. “I guess tried to talk her into staying away from you.”
“I don’t think you should talk to her at all. That’s giving her what she wants, and she shouldn’t get it by following us around.”
I heard a scratching sound and could picture his movements: rubbing a hand over his mustache, dragging his fingertips down the side of his face. “I’m sorry, Emma. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
“It’s not your fault,” I assured him. “Have you heard anything about the team? Are they mad at us?”
He sighed. “I guess we need to do some paperwork, but it’s more to cover the team’s ass. Coach was annoyed at first, but Cap talked him down.”
“Aw. He does have a soft heart after all,” I laughed.
“Right? Who knew? So,” Harlan puffed out a sigh, “people know we’re together now.”
“Kinda figured that was a consequence.”
His voice was quiet. “Sorry. This isn’t how I wanted it to go. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. And it’s not your fault. Plus, now we don’t have to hide.”
“Bummer,” he said. “That was kinda fun. Being all sneaky.”
“It was, wasn’t it?” Despite the sun on my skin, I got a chill. I liked Harlan. I missed him. I loved all the things we’d shared and felt giddy at the prospect of getting more of that.
At the same time, I was still scared, of being stalked, of people knowing about us, of being loved.
But if I’d learned anything from the last several months, it was that the scary stuff often brought forth the good stuff.
If I hadn’t faced the bus, Harlan wouldn’t be in my life like he was.
And even though sometimes bad stuff came with the Royce package, he’d been such a positive force in my life, and in Liam’s life.
I took a deep breath. “Hey, Harlan?”
“Yeah?”
I closed my eyes and wrinkled my nose, needing to just spit it out. “I love you?”
Liam nudged my side and shot me a big smile with a thumbs up.
Harlan chuckled, and I relished in the sound of his laugh. “Is that a question?”
“Maybe? I don’t know? It’s weird saying it over the phone?”
“I’ll just have to look forward to hearing it in person. Without a question mark at the end.”
I was beaming with a lobster-colored face that had nothing to do with the spring sun. “I’m trying,” I squeaked.
His smile was in his tone, and it sent my stomach into further knots. “I know you are. I love you the way you are, princess.”
“Is that how it is?” I struggled not to giggle, flashing back to when I accidentally let that slip at Liam’s senior night dinner.
“It’s exactly like that,” Harlan said. The line clicked and he interrupted what I was about to say. “Actually, my agent’s calling me. I should probably go.”
“Oh, yep! Go!”
“Bye, Em.” He raised his voice. “Bye, Liam!”
About ten minutes later, a text hit my phone.
HARLAN
I’m still in love with you. The way you are. No questions asked.
EMMA
I don’t think it’s like that.
HARLAN
It’s exactly like that.
EMMA
(black heart emoji)