Chapter 19 #3
“You move people here,” Janie said, “in a very different way, through your wisdom and compassion for all the broken people who stumble into your café.”
Maria laughed, a genuine, delighted sound. “Perhaps. Though I prefer to think of it as simply being present. Anyway,” she placed her hands over Janie’s and Solo’s, “you have much better things to be doing than keeping two old women company. It is time for you to go.”
Janie nodded and smiled at Solo. “I just need the restroom, then we’ll head home.”
Maria watched Janie disappear around the corner of the counter then she turned to Solo. “Take care of her,” she said and squeezed Solo’s hand. “She’s stronger than she thinks, but she’s still fragile. The shame hasn’t fully released its grip yet.”
“I know,” Solo said. “I’m trying.”
“Don’t just try. Do.” Maria’s gaze was intense.
This was all so surreal. Janie had stumbled across a real-life Yoda. Solo had to push a giggle down, so all she could manage was a nod.
“And don’t let her mother anywhere near those children. That woman is poison.”
“We won’t.” All humor evacuated her body, and Solo clenched her jaw.
Maria squeezed her hand a little harder. “You’re good for her. I can see it in how she looks at you. Like you’re home.”
Solo’s throat tightened. “She’s home for me too.”
When Janie returned, Maria and Mirta said their goodbyes with hugs.
Solo offered her hand but was pulled into a bone-crushing embrace that didn’t match their gentle, elderly appearance, and they made her promise to come back soon.
As she and Janie walked back toward the car, the late afternoon sun was turning everything golden, and Solo couldn’t help but think the weather was siding with their attempt to rebuild their lives.
“She’s amazing,” Solo said. “I can’t believe you’ve been hanging out with a former movie star and didn’t tell me.”
“I didn’t know,” Janie said. “She doesn’t exactly advertise it.
With all the stories she tells and the café running on goodwill, I had a suspicion there was more to her background than she’d shared with me, but she obviously wants to keep that part of her life private.
I think she likes being just Maria now, not Maria Flores the actress. ”
“Is that why she wouldn’t accept payment?” Solo slipped her arm around Janie’s waist, and Janie leaned into her.
“Yeah. I think maybe some people pay, like tourists, but mostly, the café’s used by her community, and she wants them to feel safe and looked after.”
Solo smiled and nodded. “That’s a wonderful thing. It’s kind of what Gabe’s doing at the garage, except queer people still have to pay.”
Janie laughed and leaned into Solo a little harder. “So not the same?”
Solo shrugged and laughed too. “I guess not… Thank you for sharing your friends with me. I can see why you like it so much here.”
“I wanted to. I wanted you to see where I’ve been while I’ve been away from you and to meet the people who have been helping me.
Maria’s been...” Janie paused and bit her bottom lip, clearly searching for the right words.
“She became a competing voice in my head, one that told me I deserve good things and that I’m not as broken as the other voice tells me I am. ”
“You’re not broken at all.” Solo pulled Janie in tighter. “You’re healing. There’s a difference.”
They reached the car, but instead of getting in, Janie turned to face Solo, her back against the passenger’s side door. The setting sun caught in her hair, turning it bronze and gold, and Solo’s breath caught. How could she have stopped seeing how beautiful Janie was?
“I don’t want to go home yet,” Janie said quietly.
“No?” Solo was enjoying this time together too much for it to end so quickly, for their reality to push back in. “What do you want to do?”
Janie put her hands on Solo’s shoulders, and Solo pulled her in closer on auto pilot, their bodies fitting together in that familiar way they always had.
“I want...” Janie ran her fingernail over Solo’s bottom lip. “I want to keep being just us for a little while longer. No responsibilities, no triplets needing us, no legal cases hanging over our heads. Just us.”
“Okay.” Solo’s heart pounded against her chest, and other things pulsed in hope. She gently slipped a lock of Janie’s hair behind her ear, not wanting to push anything. “What did you have in mind?”
“I made a reservation at a hotel downtown.” Janie’s cheeks flushed pink. “We don’t have to use it if you’re not ready, but I thought maybe—”
Solo kissed her. Not tentatively or carefully like she thought she’d have to do while they slowly found their way back to each other, but deeply, desperate with all the want and love and longing she’d been holding back.
Janie made a small sound of surprise, then melted into it, her fingers digging into Solo’s shoulders.
Solo pulled back, breathing hard. “Take me to the hotel,” she said. “Please.”
Janie’s smile was wide and confident. It was the same smile Solo had come to know as a sure-fire indication of her sexual arousal.
Janie wrapped her hand around the back of Solo’s neck. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Solo kissed her again, softer this time. “I want you. I want this. I want us to remember what it feels like to just be together without the weight of everything else.”
“Get in the car,” Janie said, already moving around to the driver’s side. “Before I can’t wait for the hotel and just drag you into that alley over there.”
Solo laughed, giddy and reckless in the best possible way. She climbed into the passenger seat, and as Janie started the car and pulled into traffic, Solo reached over and held her hand. “I love you,” she said. “I’ve missed telling you that.”
“I’ve missed hearing it.” Janie brought Solo’s hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “You’ve got some making up to do.”
“I love you. I love you. I love you.” Solo punctuated each repetition with a squeeze of Janie’s hand. “There. That’s a start.”
Janie laughed her full, uninhibited, and joyful laugh. “You’re ridiculous,” she said.
Solo wiggled her eyebrows. “You love it.”
Janie glanced at her and nodded, the love in her eyes clear. “I really do.”
They drove through the city as the sun painted the sky in shades of pink, orange, and purple, and Solo smiled widely. She couldn’t help but hope they were finally driving toward their future instead of running from it.