Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
I watched as Victoria rejoined the party, brushing her fingers under her eyes and smudging her makeup slightly. Not that it made her any less beautiful. She’d caught my eye the moment she stepped out of her cabin, her wine-colored dress clinging to every curve. The girl was earth-shatteringly beautiful, and it was becoming a real fucking problem for me.
Last night, I couldn’t sleep, wondering what her kiss would have tasted like. There was a moment when I thought we might cross that line, right after I asked her what she wanted. Her eyes darted down to my lips, and I had to clench my fists to keep from reaching for her. Being close but not claiming her was eating me up inside.
Calla and Theo talked at my side, but I paid them little mind, answering their questions with non-committal answers. How could I when my sole focus was gliding across the field, looking like a goddess plucked from a myth? Calla followed my line of sight, smirking when she realized who captured my attention. She nudged my side. “Go say hi. She’s been quiet all night because she doesn’t know most of these people.”
I nodded and took a long sip of my ginger beer, wishing I had something stronger to steel my nerves. That in and of itself was concerning. I wasn’t used to feeling on edge around women, having gained a good amount of confidence in my youth. But there was something different about Victoria. I didn’t know whether it was because she was related to Cole or because I could see myself getting lost for her.
Dr. Kedir’s words flashed through my mind, making me all too aware that I was letting fear dictate my life. I’d had every intention of letting her go, not wanting to get too close, knowing nothing could ever happen between us.
But then yesterday, I saw her sitting in the gazebo, grinning at her phone, and like the Neanderthal I was, I needed to earn some of her smiles for myself. It was all too easy to fall into a comfortable routine with her, the push and pull igniting feelings I thought I’d buried. It scared the shit out of me—opening myself up, letting someone else see my fears, all of it.
But I’d encouraged her to face her fears; the least I could do was battle my own.
When I reached her on the other side of the field, she looked around, as if trying to face anything but me. “Are you avoiding me, Tori?” I asked with a smirk.
“Avoiding is a strong word,” she smiled, but her cheeks maintained their red flush. It was adorable, and I loved being the one to make her blush. “More like cowering with embarrassment.”
“What do you have to be embarrassed about?”
“That whole thing about my list and wanting to be braver. I know it probably sounded stupid, at least really juvenile?— ”
“Hey,” I said, stepping closer so only she could hear me. “I already told you—nothing you’ve said sounds stupid. I think it’s a great idea.”
Her eyes lit up as she looked at me. “Really?”
“Yeah, what do you have to lose? Write some things down, and maybe it’ll motivate you to try something new.”
She nodded as she exhaled, taking in my words. Her eyes softened as she watched Alex and Cole sway together, ignoring the rest of the guests. I had to give them credit for even staying. Theo had bet me ten bucks they were going to stick out the whole night, and I gave them only ten minutes. Of course, the smug bastard won. Oh well. If it was my wedding, I would have snuck away hours ago.
I followed her gaze, watching as they laughed and swayed together. Even though they held Victoria’s attention, my eyes kept drifting to her, my fingers itching to hold her hand in mine.
“Have you ever thought about getting married?” Victoria asked.
“No,” I answered honestly. “Not because I’m against it, but I haven’t met anyone who made it seem worth it. I think that’s the key. Without the right person, it’s just a piece of paper.”
“How right you are,” Victoria sighed.
“What about you, trouble?” I chuckled, bumping her with my arm. “Are any guys back home trying to tie you down?”
“Once,” she said, turning to face me with a sad smile. “I almost said yes, too. But then I realized I didn’t see it for us. I couldn’t imagine a future with him, not beyond what we already were. And that’s when I knew: I’d rather stay single than settle for someone who doesn’t quite fit.”
“And if you find that person?” I swallowed, hating how my throat dried up at her words. “What then?”
“Then we build a life together,” she smiled. “At least, that’s the dream. First, I have to find the guy, and then we’ll go from there.”
As the song in the background drifted to a slow country ballad, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I held out my hand. “Dance with me.”
Her lip instantly found its way between her teeth. “Are you sure? I don’t want Cole?—”
“We’re just dancing, trouble. It’s a wedding. You have to dance for at least a couple of songs.”
With one last peek over my shoulder, she relented, placing her hand in mine. I tugged her close, letting her smaller frame nestle against my chest. Before we even started to sway, I knew this was a mistake. There was no way I’d ever forget this feeling of rightness—the smell of her perfume, her soft exhale as she laid her head against my chest; hell, even the way her hand fit in mine. Everything about Victoria Campbell felt like she was made for me.
She looked up, and her dark brown eyes consumed me. The rest of the world faded into the background and it was just us in this moment. As the singer crooned in the background, all I could see was her. Forget her being brave; I was the one who needed her strength, something to keep from falling for the woman in my arms.
The thought snapped open in my chest, letting long-buried emotions flood through my veins. For so long, I’d been coasting, letting fear of the world keep me from experiencing anything but the mundane. Dr. Kedir was right; I wasn’t living, not really. I’d been hiding, too busy being afraid to take any chances.
But here, in this moment, all I wanted was a chance—a chance to show Victoria I was worth the risk, a chance to help her be brave, a chance to taste her sweet lips and make her breathless with need.
“Tor, I?—”
But before I could confess anything more, Cole stepped to our side, smiling at his little sister. “Do you mind if I cut in?”
“Oh, I…” Victoria’s voice trailed off as she stared at me, waiting to see if I’d finish my thought.
But my best friend’s presence doused all my bravery, reminding me she wasn’t just any woman. I couldn’t take any risks—not with her, not when I was still figuring out my own shit. If I brought her down with me, Cole would never forgive me, and with a limited number of people in my corner, I couldn’t risk hurting two of the best ones.
I smiled back at Victoria as I backed away. “She’s all yours.”
Staring out at the rippling waves, I tried to sort out my thoughts and strike Victoria Campbell from my memories. I recited the usual words and pretended she meant nothing more to me than Cole’s little sister. Still, the more time I spent with her, the less those sentiments rang true. She was quickly becoming my favorite sight, her smile lighting up even the darkest of moods. I wanted to spend more time with her, get another hit of having her in my arms. It was a high I never knew I needed, but now that I’d experienced it, there was nothing else I wanted.
As if she was as attuned to me as I was to her, I could feel her join me at my side, sighing softly as her gaze followed mine .
“How’s Cole?” I asked, not daring to look at her.
“Ecstatic,” she chuckled. “It’s like my brother’s been body-snatched, and they left behind this smiling, happy guy I don’t recognize. It’s a little jarring.”
I hummed in agreement. My words were still on the dance floor when Victoria buried herself under my skin. But instead of the discomfort I usually felt when people got too close, it was a struggle to keep my distance.
She glanced up at me, her smile faltering when she saw my expression. “Adam, are you okay?”
“Of course.” I gave her my best smile, the one usually reserved for the red carpet and interviews. But unlike those people, Victoria didn’t buy it, only narrowing her eyes further.
“Don’t give me that look, Rice.”
“I’m fine, Tor. You don’t have to worry about me. You’ve got enough going on with Cole.”
She placed her hand on my arm. “I can worry about you and celebrate my brother. You might not know this, but I’m a fantastic multi-tasker.”
“Oh, you are?” I mused.
“Yup,” she said, enunciating the pop at the end of the word. “You’re avoiding talking about yourself.” When I shot her a look, she smirked. “Yes, I’ve noticed. You change the subject as soon as anyone asks how you are doing. But whatever’s going on, Adam, I’m here. And even when I’m not, I’m only a phone call away.”
I turned to face her fully, needing to get another hit of her smile. Her eyes widened slightly when they met mine. Without thinking, I dragged my fingers up, playing with a tendril of her hair. “I don’t want you to worry about me, trouble.”
“Too bad,” she said, but her breath was lighter than it was moments ago, as if my presence was impacting her as much as hers was me. “You’re stuck with me, Rice. You weren’t able to get rid of me years ago, and now that we’re back in each other’s lives, you’re going to have to get used to me pushing you around.”
“Gladly,” I smiled. “I like it when you push me around.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I answered. “It’s like those videos when a chihuahua tries to beat up a German Shepherd.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not short.”
“You are compared to me.”
She shook her head and pointed her finger up at me. “You’re changing the subject again.” For a moment, Victoria looked up at me, then to her finger in the air. With slow but steady movements, she opened her hand and placed her palm on my chest. The impact of her touch burned, and I wanted so much more. “I won’t push, not if you really don’t want to talk, but if you do….” She sighed, darting her eyes up to meet mine. “I’m here, Adam. Always.”
I reached up, capturing her hand on my chest before she could pull it away. “I’ll make you a deal, Tor. I’ll let you in, but only if you do one thing for me.”
“What’s that?”
“Make that list.” My thumb brushed the back of her hand, relishing in her soft skin. “Do the things that scare you. Be brave, Tori. And if you need someone to help you face your fears, make me your first call.”
“Why would you want to do that?”
“I like how your eyes light up when you’re facing something new. It’s quickly becoming my new favorite sight.”
Her deep, chestnut eyes widened, and for a moment, I thought I’d gone too far, crossed that fragile line we’d been toeing for days.
But she surprised me when all she said was, “Deal.”