Chapter 1
Chapter One
T he high-pitched sound caused Faye to double over in pain. She wanted to yank her new implant out of her skull.
Instead, she plopped down in the sand and counted to five until the buzzing stopped. The annoying sound was replaced with soft cries from the seagulls overhead and the sound of the waves a few feet away.
She let out a slow breath and pressed her fingertips against her temple.
The cool breeze that floated off the Pacific soothed her flushed skin.
She sat back, digging her free fingers into the damp sand.
She could still hear the distant echo of the feedback buzzing in her memory, like a ghost of something that didn’t belong inside her head.
The implants were supposed to give the world back to her.
Sound. Music. Conversations without watching lips so closely.
But right now, all she could think about was how loud everything was.
The waves crashing on the rocks. The birds screaming overhead.
Even the rustle of wind through the tall dune grass felt like static in her ears.
She closed her eyes and tilted her head up toward the sun.
“You’re fine,” she whispered. The words didn’t come out steady, but they helped. “You’re okay. This is okay.”
Max’s house—her house for the summer—sat just up the hill behind her, perched like a dream against the Oregon hillside. The white lighthouse stood tall and proud next to her brother’s remodeled home, which he shared with his wife of just over a year.
Staying there should make her feel like she was in a fairytale. Instead, it felt like she’d borrowed someone else’s life without asking.
Maybe after a few days she’d settle into it?
Juliette, her new sister-in-law, had texted her that morning, asking if she’d made it to Pride from Portland okay.
She’d sent her a picture of her smiling in front of their home.
She’d replied back with something about sipping wine in a vineyard in France and watching Max get grilled by an actor who was “too young to be that arrogant.” Her brother’s screenwriting career was booming, and it was thrilling to see his latest works turn into the next big thing.
She was impressed that they’d jetted across the world and would be living in Paris for the next several months.
Faye had smiled at the message. Genuinely. She was glad they were having fun. She really was.
The empty house was the excuse she’d needed to take the leap and finally leave her mother’s home.
A fresh start. Something just for her.
She had packed all her belongings in ten boxes, shoved them in her car, and promised herself she wouldn’t look back.
Her brother’s house was beautiful, peaceful, and everything she needed at the moment.
She even liked her brother’s horses, Stormy and Blaze. She’d never been around horses before and when she’d walked out to the barn after arriving, she was a little scared at first.
Stormy was smaller than Blaze. She had a silky tan coat and kind eyes, and Faye instantly fell for her.
Blaze, on the other hand, was very tall and muscular, and he watched her with cautious eyes. He was a beautiful buckskin and had a dark mane that was braided.
Both of them were tucked away in the barn at the moment. They had seemed to regard her as an intruder at first. But then she had offered them a couple sugar cubes, laying them in her flat palm like she’d been told to do, and they had warmed up to her quickly.
Her brother had said someone would be taking care of them and had assured her that she wouldn’t have to worry about them at all while she was watching their house.
Before she’d arrived in town, Juliette had pre-arranged for her to have a job at the local bookstore that her family owned. She’d had a few jobs over the past years. They’d been low pressure but not something that she cared for.
She loved books though and figured that she’d enjoy working at a bookstore. Besides, she could use the pay. She planned to look for a place of her own before her brother returned.
Her first day at work was Monday, and she hoped to be unpacked and settled in by then.
In the past year or so since her brother and Juliette had finished remodeling their home attached to the historic lighthouse, she had stayed there a handful of times.
This time, she’d chosen to stay in one of the rooms upstairs instead of the guest room on the main floor.
She picked the room that Juliette had called the blue room.
She liked it because it had the largest bathroom of the upstairs rooms and, outside of the main bedroom, it had the best view of the ocean and lighthouse.
Five minutes after she arrived, she was glad she had decided to come. Even the soft sand under her was a reminder that things could be better for her.
When the pain subsided a little and she opened her eyes again, she focused on the ocean, the waves crashing to the rocky shoreline.
She did what she always did when she was overwhelmed.
She tried to find one thing to hold on to.
A sound that didn’t overwhelm her. A rhythm that didn’t jar her senses.
The waves.
In. Out. In. Out.
She let her breath follow the motion. Let her body go still in the sand. This was what she needed. To quiet the sharper edges.
That and to figure out who she was now—after the surgery, after getting back something that she’d gone without for a very long time. And after knowing what she knew now.
She needed to say goodbye to the life she’d had and start over.
The antiseptic smell of the clinic clung to Faye’s memory like a stubborn shadow.
She sat on the edge of the exam table, her hands clenched tightly in her lap. Her mother sat across from her, looking worried as usual.
The skin behind her ear still ached with phantom pressure, a dull throb that pulsed in sync with her heartbeat.
Dr. Rowen tapped on her tablet, then turned to face her with that same careful, measured calm that she always had. A look that said she was afraid one wrong word might shatter Faye.
“Well,” she began, folding her hands, “your recovery looks good so far. The incisions are healing nicely.”
“But…” Faye said quietly. She could already hear it in her voice. She hated how she could read people better than she could hear them.
She nodded, the lines around her eyes tightening. “But your test responses today were slower than expected. And the mapping from last week didn’t show the level of response we’d hoped for in the left ear.”
The sterile room seemed to shrink, the buzzing fluorescent light a cruel reminder of how loud the world had become—and how far away it still felt.
“What does that mean?” her mother asked.
Dr. Rowen took a breath. “Faye, cochlear implants aren’t a perfect fix or a permanent one for some patients.
They’re a tool. Sometimes they work beautifully.
Sometimes the auditory nerve doesn’t respond the way we want it to.
There’s still a chance things will improve with more adjustment, and with time.
But I need you to understand…” She hesitated, choosing her words with maddening precision.
“There’s also a possibility that your hearing won’t get better than it is right now.
And, eventually, it may even decline further. ”
She stared at the floor, the words landing one by one like cold stones in her chest.
Eventually.
May.
Decline.
“But I can still hear some things,” she whispered, unsure if she was trying to convince her or herself.
“Yes,” she said gently. “And that’s something. But you need to prepare for every possibility. Unless things improve…” She had dropped off and avoided eye contact at this point.
Faye knew. Had known for years. Nothing could save her hearing now. This implant was a Band-Aid. The last part of her hearing was slipping away from her like the sand between her fingertips, impossible to hold onto. Eventually, all that would be left was emptiness and silence.
In the distance, a gull swooped low over the water, its cry cutting sharp across the space, hitting her like a wave. She winced, then softened, letting the slight pain settle in her.
She could do this.
She just needed more time.
And fewer seagulls.
She closed her eyes briefly again, took a deep breath, and straightened her shoulders.
It was time to get on with life and enjoy what she could while she could.
She stood up quickly, determined to head up the beach stairs and unpack her things in her new room.
She must have gotten up too quickly and would have face-planted in the sand had it not been for two strong arms that wrapped around her.
“Hey, are you okay?” A smooth, warm, rich voice caused her entire body to vibrate.
She opened her mouth to respond, but then her eyes moved up and landed on the most beautiful blue eyes she’d ever seen. Blue eyes she knew.
“Hey, you’re Faye, right?” He flashed her that sexy grin that she remembered. A grin she’d dreamed about.
Then she blinked and gasped. Yeah, she knew him. Not only knew him, but was related to him. Well, sort of.
“Nate?” Nate Elliott. Juliette’s brother. Juliette, her sister-in-law.
Nate smiled and his entire body vibrated when he chuckled. “I wondered if that was you. Max told me that you would be arriving tomorrow,” he said, still holding onto her as if she was going to fall over at any moment.
He was speaking directly to her, making sure she was able to lip-read his words. Last time they had spoken, he’d used sign language, since she hadn’t been able to hear anything.
She still felt as if she was about to fall over.
She had skipped lunch and had planned on eating a big dinner down at the Golden Oar after she unpacked.
But after she’d unpacked the boxes from her car, she’d developed a headache and had taken a walk to try to shake it.
She’d gone to the stables to see the horses and, after that, the beach had called to her.
So, by now, she was starving. Which was probably why she was light-headed. That and the buzzing that had caused her headache to double.
“I decided to come a day early,” she finally answered him as she glanced down to where his hands were still gently holding her elbows.
“Oh,” he said, noticing. He dropped his hands away quickly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to paw you.”
Faye chuckled slightly, and her cheeks suddenly burned with heat that had nothing to do with the late afternoon sun she’d been enjoying. She brushed some sand off her jeans.
“I was hoping to settle in a bit early,” she said, trying to steady her voice. “I guess I forgot to have lunch.”
Nate frowned slightly. “Well, then I guess it’s lucky that I stopped by. I was doing a quick check on Stormy and Blaze and caught a glimpse of you down here. I figured I’d head over and say hi.”
She tilted her head. “You’re the one taking care of Stormy and Blaze?”
“Yup. My sister isn’t the only one who loves horses.” He tilted his head slightly, studying her a moment. “Are you sure you’re okay? You are still looking pretty pale.”
Faye hesitated, the truth hanging on her tongue.
She could say she was fine—she’d been doing that for weeks, months, years really.
She had always smiled and nodded, faking it through every silent—and now overly loud—day.
But here, with the lighthouse behind her and the ocean stretching endlessly ahead, something about Nate’s presence grounded her. He made her want to be honest.
“I’m… adjusting,” she said finally. “It’s a lot. The implant.” She motioned to behind her left ear. “Everything’s louder than I remember. And quieter at the same time.” She finished with a frustrated shrug. She didn’t have the words to explain how it all made her feel.
Nate looked at her for a second. Not the sympathetic look that she always got when talking to someone about her problems, but a genuine look that told her he understood more than she expected.
“Life can hit hard some days. Sometimes you have to hit back. Moving to Pride was a good start. The city…” He shook his head. “Let’s just say there’s a reason I headed back here for a while.”
Her eyebrows rose. “A while? You’re not staying?”
He shrugged. “I only came back to help with the family business, but that was over a year ago.” He chuckled. “I guess I haven’t decided yet where I’m going next.”
They stood there a second, the surf washing rhythmically behind them. She was suddenly very aware of how good he smelled—like cedar and salt and hay. Why was that mix so sexy?
“I’m sure once I get settled, I’ll feel a little better,” she said, meaning every word.
“Come on,” he said. “I’ll walk back up with you.” He motioned toward the path that led back to the house.
Her stomach took that moment to let out a very loud growl.
He chuckled. “Wow, that was… equal to my own. I was actually planning to head to the Golden Oar for dinner,” he said as they started walking.
“I was planning to head there myself, once I unpacked. Which I still haven’t done.” She held in a groan.
“Do you want some company?” Nate said, glancing over at her.
Her cheeks warmed, and she quickly looked toward the house to hide her reaction. “I’d love some company,”
As they climbed the wooden steps that cut through the grassy dunes, the view of Pride and the endless Pacific opened up for them.
The sun was dipping slightly toward the horizon, and golden streaks shone across the town as the clouds parted.
The scene reminded her of a puzzle she and her mother used to work on together.
She paused for a moment to enjoy it.
“It never gets old,” Nate said beside her, his eyes on the view. “I guess it’s one of the things holding me here. You don’t get views like this in the city.”
“No,” she agreed, “you sure don’t.”
She’d been dreading eating dinner alone in a bustling restaurant, trying to keep up with voices and noise and whatever her implant decided to do in the moment. It had exhausted her before, which is why she had ended up on the beach in the first place.
Nate made her feel… steady. Easy.
At her brother’s wedding, when everyone else had been dancing or shouting across tables, Nate had sat beside her and used sign language.
Sure, he’d been slow at it, but it had helped her relax when he’d cracked a bunch of jokes and talked to her about art.
There had been no pressure. No pity. Just really great conversation.
He’d been one of the only people she’d really talked to that weekend.
There were a lot of people in town who knew sign language, and some had stopped by and chatted, which had made her feel less lonely.
That was before her implant surgery—before she could hear anything again. Even if the sounds still came in waves that she didn’t always trust, she could at least hear his sexy voice now.
And here he was again. Somehow, it felt like his company was exactly what she needed.