Chapter 32
32
A pulsing, whooshing sound is the first sensation I have. My head is so heavy I wonder if I’m actually dreaming. If I am, it’s such a powerful one I can’t even open my eyes. I stir, make a sound, beg for my man to wake me up from this nightmare. I say his name in my head, but my mouth doesn’t utter a sound.
Enzo.
My limbs are heavy and full but it’s not painful. My last memories come to me in flashes. Did I make it to Pen’s? No… there was the struggle…
The silence around me is as still as outer space. It’s so quiet that I slump in and out of a slumber of sorts. Am I even on earth… The out-of-body experience lasts for maybe a few minutes, maybe a few hours, when finally, I hear something in the silence.
Two men speak somewhere in the distance, but their voices are garbled. It’s almost like I’m listening to conversation underwater. Finally, as if watching a sticky camera lens unfurl, my eyes blink slowly and the world comes into view around me.
Until now, my heart has beat slow and steady, but at the sound of voices it ignites. My gaze traces every shadowy curve of the beams around me. I’m in a barn? Behind are a few hay bales, and just a few feet ahead there’s a drop-off. A hayloft? It’s dimly lit with only one light bulb illuminated somewhere below.
I’m still disoriented, but even if I felt full strength, I soon realize I’d be going nowhere when I yank at my hands. I’m tied to a chair. My heart races, and I want to scream for help but control myself and suck in hard breaths through my nose that almost whistle they’re so sharp. But I know. Screaming will not help me. My instincts tell me the only person I feel safe with isn’t here. I used to have Anton, but now in place of our friendship is a deep, burning sense of betrayal.
I scan my surroundings. There are no windows up here even if I could break free, and the darkness beyond the large hole in the wood siding of this dilapidated outbuilding is pitch-black, telling me I am far away from flagging someone down even if I could get out of here.
I recall more small details from the struggle last night and know it was Anton’s voice behind me before the sharp jab and the world went dark.
I was all wrong.
Enzo was right .
Father wanted me back.
And Anton helped him.
My heart hollows out, and I go from wanting to scream to being nauseated from the deception. Anton fooled me. And not just now… but for years. My whole world turns upside down. Anton was my only anchor in a lifetime of not understanding who I was, where I was, what I was. He was that little crack of light in the locked box I lived in. He brought me joy, wiped my tears, and was my security for years. How could I have been so wrong to trust him?
Anton wasn’t my friend. He wasn’t my found family. He was my abductor as much as Father.
Maybe he even is Father.
The horrifying thought has bile rising up my throat and tears stinging my eyes. No way. He can’t be. All of this can’t be.
Now I know my greatest fear is true.Will they kill me here? Will I be forced back to the compound to be part of Father’s grand design? When I refuse to be Father’s tool, will he take me to the basement?
My life has served no purpose but to be an instrument for someone else’s corruption. Like Enzo said, good men don’t keep little girls locked up. I should have listened to him. I should have trusted Enzo more, the one person who asked nothing from me other than truth. He’s the purest thing I’ve ever known and I trusted a lie instead.
I should have let Enzo walk me to the door.
But then, maybe he’d be here, too. The wicked stop at nothing until they’ve won or you have. This time… I lost.
I don’t want to draw Anton up here with any noise, even though a loud, ragged sob builds up in my throat. I beg my tears to stay silent as they fill my eyes, roll hot down my cheeks, and swell my throat beyond the point of even breathing.
My mind swirls with all that could have been. The fulfillment of being part of GhostEye. The laughter at the stables in the wood shavings. The pool party. My sweet friend, Luis, and his book club. Scanning for UFOs with Penelope… all of it is gone. All of it was a mirage. It was never mine.
Now, I’ll go back to being a part of some sinister plan I don’t even understand. Or… I’ll die when I refuse. They can’t force me to do anything anymore. That is the only control I have. This brain, these fingers, this voice, they all belong to me.I will not be a pawn.
I grit my teeth, breaths racing in and out, hard and fast. I scissor my hands back and forth, hoping to loosen the knots to no avail. But courage rises despite my situation. Anger replaces fear when I realize that even in this circumstance, I do have control. They will get nothing more from me ever again.
If I can’t have Enzo, the one choice I have left is to never be Father’s puppet. They can’t keep me tied up forever. Whoever watches me next better sleep with one eye open. And I’ll take my punishment whatever it may be.
Adrenaline races through my body, making me more alert than I was moments ago.
Just then, the low timbre of a man’s voice, thick with a Mexican accent, floats up to my ears through the dingy shadows.
“She should be awake by now.”
I hold my breath.
The thud on a hollow step, followed by another, as the men who think they own me come up the stairs to strike again. Every step they take closes like the twist of a vise around my lungs.
The first man appears at the top of the stairs, back to the only light source. His face is muted, but I know instantly I’ve never seen him before.
When Anton joins him on the platform, his gaze lands on me and his eyes blast open as if moved by my tearstained face. Even now he hasn’t given up the charade. The pain in his gaze fools me still. He actually appears upset to see me like this. Maybe I’m mistaken; when the other man with the accent turns to glance at him, a stone-cold glaze fills Anton’s eyes.
He’s one of them .
“Lucy… Lucy… Lucy…” The other man takes one small step every time he says my name until he crouches in front of me. He brushes the back of a finger along my cheek.
I turn my face as far away from his dirty touch as I can.
I’m met with a wicked, sardonic laugh, and he tilts my chin up with two fingers as if admiring me. I snatch my face from him and curl my lip.
“Finally, after so many years, my little prize reached her true potential.”
My potential? I flick my gaze back and forth between this man and Anton, back and forth. What the hell is he talking about? Me being tied up in this dusty barn, half drugged, losing it all, is reaching my true potential? What kind of sick person is this?
He offers a sinister smile and puts two hands on my knees, sending fury up my spine. I want to kick him. Punch him. The only thing I could do is spit, but my mouth is so dry I can’t conjure any up.
Wickedness pours from his clenched jaw. “So beautiful. So many options with you, but you’ve achieved the highest purpose.”
“Who the fuck are you?”
He lets out an exaggerated sigh. “Please don’t stoop. You can crack puzzles far more complicated than this one. You really don’t know who I am? Not even a hunch?”
He talks about my purpose, about my life like he knows anything about me. Only the man standing next to him knows anything about me. And then, like a punch to the gut, I slowly come to a realization. It can’t be. I’ve never seen this man, and yet, the way he speaks, his connection to Anton… It must be him.
“Go on. Say it,” he hisses.
It’s barely a whisper, nothing inside me wants to believe it. “Father…”
“Well, not yours exactly. But I branded myself as one. I took on the title when I realized I have such a flair for nurturing.” He releases a sickening laugh. “And I’m just so very good at wringing out the very best in people.”
I heave with a pain so deep I can hardly contain the chest-splitting cry building up inside. My mother left me with this vile man, and he wasn’t even my actual father? How could she have done that to me? I used to wonder if she didn’t love me. Now I wonder, did she hate me? Was I so easy to discard, so useless…
My soul fractures into so many pieces, I’ll never put it back together again.
He stands, allowing the space to cool between us. Anger. It’s all that’s left inside me. I breathe in deeply, and it refreshes my fury.
My voice is more like a growl. “You use people for your own sordid, twisted gain…”
“I bring people into my world. I take care of them as my own, examine their talents. An innocent face can be a great thief. A strong man, an enforcer, nice tits… well, I’m sure you can see where this is going. Why slaughter people when they can be useful? I’ve always thought my contemporaries just don’t have finesse.”
How many more people did he keep on that property in Oregon? How many more are there now? Maybe children? Other women… This man is a psychopath.
He walks around the back of me. “Some people take a lifetime to serve their purpose.”
He wraps his arm around my chest, hugging me from behind, and I want to vomit under his touch.
“But you turned out to be a real treasure, Lucy. When you came to me, a girl too thin to be cute and hair cut savagely by a pair of kitchen scissors, I never could have guessed you’d be so brilliant. I thought you would have ended up where most of the girls do. But your mother, my God.” He laughs again, and it’s the most repulsive sound in the world. “She thought I was actually going to return you once she finished paying off her debt. But once you’re in the family”—he comes around to the front of me again, and his evil gaze is heavy on mine—“there’s no way out.”
I struggle against my ropes, eager for a chance to dig my fingers into his eye sockets. “What debt?”
Father allows me to yank at the ropes until they rub my wrists raw. I finally give up. He paces to the edge of the hayloft and gazes out of the hole in the siding.
“I’m afraid your mother was just a lowly drug addict, Lucy. Truly lost. Filthy.”
“Fuck you,” I spit.
He’s deep in his murky story and ignores me. “I had no idea you’d be my most valuable asset when your mother became a mule to pay her debt to my men. They told me there was a daughter. An eleven-year-old. What should they do with little Lucy Murphy while her mother crosses the border stuffed with drugs? My answer is always the same on these occasions. Bring her to Father.”
This man is revolting. He’s the scum of the earth. I’m overwhelmed with thoughts of my mother. The second bit of faith I had was that she did love me. Even maybe, that one day she’d come back.
He ruined me. He ruined my mother. Men like him spread destruction throughout the most vulnerable places.
His tone is patronizing. “Your mamita was an addict.” A smug laugh leaves his lips. “Don’t tell me it doesn’t make sense. You’re too smart to think I’m lying. You came to me malnourished with less than ten items of clothing to your name, including panties.”
Every word dropping from his lips is ugly and crude.
I defend my need for this to be untrue, to think it’s all this man’s fault along with those slimy drug dealers in my neighborhood, but my words are meek and unconvincing. “She took care of me.”
“Did she? Did she really?” He bites. “Did she take care of you or did she keep you alive?”
The agony I hid so deep rises to the surface. I shudder at the thought of him knowing so much about me. He took a defenseless young girl, a woman on the edge, and used them both. But much as I want to focus solely on him, because over the years it was a way to ignore the pain around my mom abandoning me, I can’t now. I can’t pretend he stole me.
In an instant, shame consumes my whole life. Everything I value in myself, my wits, my intelligence, even my loyalty to Anton has been called into question, and my life becomes worse than meaningless. My own mother left me in the hands of corruption. I remember the day she lied to me. On our way to his compound, she told me everything was going to be okay. The memory burns a savage trail down my insides.
I can hardly breathe; my throat is so tight, and tears stain my cheeks. Even my nose runs with rejection, pouring deep sorrow out of my body.There’s nothing I want more than to be strong, but the pain is too much.
I gaze up at Anton sharply. How could he be part of this? How was he able to make me think there was hope in a world where there was none?
His jaw is clenched, his fists curled in so tightly his nails must be digging into his palms. I see regret in his eyes but I know better than to believe it. I don’t know him. He’s a stranger to me. The Anton I knew never existed.
And now, Father turns back to gaze at me with soulless eyes. “You’re lucky you didn’t end up like some of the others who came to me. You can’t say you weren’t kept in comfort.”
“You stole my youth. You stole my freedom,” I snarl.
His condescending gaze meets mine. “I thought you’d be desperate to hear this story. Doesn’t every orphan want to know where they came from?”
My voice is ragged and doesn’t sound like my own “One day you’ll get what you deserve…”
He smiles, and evil pours from his every feature while he continues his tale. “Your mother told my men you were a genius. That you were a coding expert. Now that piqued my interest because I’ve always taken a special interest in the brainy ones. More valuable than a whore. More lucrative than a mule.”
What is he saying? Were there others like me in his compound? Oh God, I hope there are no children there.
“You sure earned your way out of the brothel. I had people test you. Teach you. They all said how brilliant you were. And charming, too. I waited years, watching from afar, using the best talent in my organization to teach you, though over the years it was you who became the teacher.”
My biggest nightmare is a reality. “You used me to commit crimes?”
He pinches together his finger and thumb. “Just a bit. When your mom left you, I would have never predicted you’d be the jewel in my crown but you, mi Tesoro , allowed me my greatest desire—revenge against your little boyfriend. You allowed me to, shall we say… open the door?”
True terror crushes my heart. My boyfriend. The door… I was used to get to Enzo?
Pain, regret, and shame rip through me so hard my heart squeezes, a stone pressing into my sternum. I hacked GhostEye? It’s not possible. I would have known… I wish the pits of Hell would burn thorough the wooden beams and incinerate this man.
“You…” My voice is strained. I can’t even say anything more than one simple word. “Ensenada.”
He raises his left hand, and I didn’t notice earlier, he’s missing two fingers. “Revenge is a noble cause.”
My stomach roils. I swallow hard to keep from screaming. From crying… Father is the man who killed Enzo’s cousin?
His disturbing gaze bores into me.
Tears make hot tracks down my cheeks. “I never hacked GhostEye. I didn’t help you.” I can’t believe I did anything to hurt Enzo. To put his company at risk.
“Well, not directly. But we set up tasks, one by one, each time adding new challenges my own hackers faced when trying to break through his defenses. Don’t worry, mi angel , you just told us what to do, you didn’t have to get your hands dirty.”
My throat constricts holding back the jagged sob that builds there. It can’t be true. My code led to those hacks at GhostEye?
Father stares out of the large, glassless window into the night. “As if I wasn’t already pleased enough to have made a breach of any sort, to finally make progress on my years-long vendetta, my luck just kept on giving when that contest opened. It was the perfect opportunity.”
Despite my soul begging me not to, I let my gaze land on Anton. That’s why he was sent with me. To keep me under lock and key because I never broke free. I was allowed to go to GhostEye. He knew exactly what I did in all those hours in the library. A tear escapes. Anton’s betrayal crushes me. It might even hurt more than my mother’s because she never showed me so much affection as Anton did.
Nothing can hold me back screaming. “Enzo never did anything to you. All he did was defend his cousin. Who you killed!”
Father rushes to me and grabs me by the neck, squeezing until it’s hard to breathe. His breath is labored, struggling for control. “That’s where you’re wrong. Enzo stole my life .”
Spit showers me as he speaks with venom.
“I lost my reputation, my family… my home…” He trembles with rage, and his nails bite at my skin. “And now I’m going to steal everything he cares about. Bit by bit…”
I dart my gaze over to Anton whose muscles are so taut he shakes.
Father lets go of me sharply and smooths his shirt as if regaining some sort of decency. He’s the ugliest person I have ever seen. And he’s mindless, too. Enzo will find him .
“Enzo will take you down.” It’s my turn to let out a maniacal laugh. “You’re so done and you can’t even see it.”
He stares back out into space, his breath now steady, and he speaks as though he didn’t hear a word I said.
“Now you have everything I need to take down GhostEye.” He hums to himself, satisfied. “It would have been enough for you to help me ruin his company. It would destroy Enzo and give me the ultimate influence over my peers. They’ll all need me to continue doing business. But this is going to be even more fun than I thought. After GhostEye, I planned to take his precious family, just like he did to me. One by one.”
Flashes of those wonderful men back at the ranch go through my mind. Father has to be stopped.
“I couldn’t have known he’d fall for you.” His wicked gaze lands on me again. “It’s such a bonus for him to agonize over your departure.”
He comes to my side again and threads his fingers through my hair. He lowers his lips toward mine but then tugs so hard my head yanks back.
“You turned out so pretty once I started caring for you. Maybe I won’t kill you when I’m done with your boyfriend. Maybe you’ll serve a second purpose in my bedroom.”
“You’re a monster.” My voice is furious. Another tear burns my cheek.
He crouches again so he is face to face and takes the sides of my head in his hands. “There, there.” He kisses my wet cheek
Just then a cell beeps, and Father slides my phone out of his pocket. He puts it in front of my face. “Say cheese…” He swipes up to look at the text, mumbling to himself. “Amazing face recognition doesn’t need your eyes open to work. A flaw if you ask me. ”
He opens my messages and arches an eyebrow. He shows me the phone.
ENZO
I’m here now, Sánchez. You got what you wanted.
A sinister smile smears across Father’s lips. “I’ve got a special delivery.”
My heart falls into my stomach with an ache so deep. It’s both beautiful and tragic Enzo wouldn’t let me go because he’s walking right into this man’s grasp. I’m sure Father would have brought men to surround the place. I have to believe Enzo knows what he’s doing. I have to believe I’ll see his face again and get a chance to tell him—I love him and he’s the only pure thing I’ve ever known in this world.