27. Chapter Twenty-Seven
It’s Cole and me at breakfast alone this week. Again.
Chris didn’t come home last night, which isn’t surprising.
Tori asks about him, and Cole easily lies and says he works on Sunday mornings now.
I’m honestly not sure why I’m even here. I had a shitty night last night. I mean, Cole had already said we couldn’t do this anymore in Chris’s bathroom, but part of me hoped he was just saying it. Because we’ve known that the whole time, yet it kept happening. But yesterday was a different kind of conversation. There was a finality to it, and it’s really done this time. The way he could do it so simply is what hurt the most. It still hurts now. Probably will for a while.
What really confuses me, and also angers me, is we’re not only doing this because of Chris. At least, that’s how he made it seem. Because I’ve thought about this too much—of course. And we’re all adults. All three of us. If Cole wanted us to be something, we could be. Who’s to say Christopher will even care?
All of this made me realize it’s an excuse. A cover-up to let me down easy, I guess. Because Cole doesn’t want anything serious. He fucked up one night because he was drunk. Messed with me a few times because he was horny, and I was way too easy. I mean, Jesus, I could at least put up a little fight and not go running when he calls me. Desperate much? Pathetic too.
Especially because…
I’m here.
Again.
I keep telling myself it’s me making up for Chris not being here. That I’m part of the reason they had this last big fight, and if it weren’t for me being at their house, Chris would be here instead. And a little more than that? Cole is letting me stay in his house for nothing, so the least I can do is join the man for breakfast, so he isn’t alone.
This tradition means something to him. Even though he can so easily put up a wall between us, I can’t. I care about Cole. Always have. Even before the crush started, I cared about him in a fatherly way. Like a step-dad, maybe. An uncle? I don’t even know because any way I put it makes it weird now.
I like Cole. I’m not in love with him, but I have feelings for him. I’m safe, comfortable, and more relaxed with him than anyone else. The way he looks at me? I want someone to look at me like that all the time. And maybe someone will one day. It just can’t be him.
Breakfast is fine, albeit a little awkward, as we don’t speak much.
Though, that quickly takes a turn for extremely awkward and something else I can’t quite put a name to. Or maybe choose not to put a name to it because it’s dangerous territory.
“I thought that was you.”
We both look up from our plates of food. There’s a woman standing at the end of the table. Pretty with sharp features, high cheekbones, and full lips. Her hair is dirty blonde, long, and full. Not as full as her boobs. Nice sacks of fat they are. Still don’t get the appeal. She’s dressed, in my opinion, a little too nicely for this diner. Like maybe she just got out of church, but who the hell comes here after church?
“Connie. Nice to see you,” Cole says with a genuine smile.
Oh, it’s nice to see Connie, is it?
“It’s nice to see you too, Cole.” She smiles back, showing off straight white teeth.
First name basis? Nice.
She turns to me with a half-smile. “Is this your son? This is Christopher?”
We both respond with a no quickly. Though I too was fast in denying being his son, the way he did it is offensive. Like I’m so bad to have as a son? What the fuck? And he doesn’t apologize or look slightly sorry. He’s just staring at her. Smiling. I want to throw up.
“My son is working.”
“Ah,” she says with a head tilt. “Well, it was nice seeing you. I’ll see you Tuesday afternoon. For our date, right?”
My stomach sours. Date? He’s going on a date with this woman?
When did this happen? When the actual hell did this man make a date with her? Was it when he was jerking me off? When he had me sucking his cock? Maybe when he was feeding me my own cum and then making out with me? Totally seems like the right time to make a date with a woman.
I grit my teeth and stab a potato so hard the fork clanks against the porcelain plate.
“Of course,” he says in a tone smoother than the butter on his toast.
I’ve never felt anything like what I feel now. I have no right feeling half the things that just swarmed me. Like jealousy. Betrayal. Rage.
Hell, I feel like I was slapped in the face.
My stomach turns again, and I’m going to be sick. I look down at my half eaten plate of food and hold back a gag. My throat tightens and there’s no way I can eat another bite of this. I put down my fork, the potato still attached.
I don’t know what to say. What to think? He’s dating a woman? A beautiful woman. And he’s screwing me on the side? Who else? How many other people does this man have on the side? Is this the reason he’s ending things with me? For her?
All the nice things I said about him being humble and knowing he’s hot but not caring? I take them back. Every single one of them. Cole Harper is a pig.
And I swear, if it wouldn’t absolutely break him, I’d get up and walk out. But unfortunately, this breakfast means too much to him, and I’m not a cruel person. So I sit through the rest of breakfast, pretend to eat until he’s done, and when he asks why I don’t finish my food, I say I’m stressed and not hungry.
He lets it go.
He lets it go and doesn’t ask a single question. Shouldn’t he feel the need to clear up whatever that was with that woman? Maybe tell me she has a condition where the words she uses aren’t really what they mean. So for her, date is actually cat or something?
Christ, I’m so pathetic.
But can’t he tell I’m upset by this? I mean, though he and I are nothing, I at least have the freedom to be upset over him fucking someone else while having me suck his dick. That is legit something I can get mad about. No, we never said we were exclusive, but don’t people care about STDs anymore? They didn’t just disappear!
This is a nightmare. And for the first time since I’ve been here, I seriously consider going back to Providence. Actually getting on a plane and flying back. Taking time to figure out how I can make the move work. Before now, it was just a fleeting thought. An option. Now, I’m actually considering it.
There’s always Daniel. He has a place to live. I could do it. I could call him right now, fly back there, and stay with him.
Then the strangest thing happens. I get a text. And I wish it was him so I could tell him my new plan. But the number is one I don’t recognize.
Tori leaves the bill and clears our plates. I open the text while Cole finishes his coffee.
Unknown: Hey, it’s Tomas. I got your number from Mark. Hope you don’t mind?
I grin so wide it hurts.
But then I frown because I haven’t decided how I feel about Tomas yet. I said I wouldn’t judge him over any of the stuff I heard about Cole and his father because I don’t know his side of the story. That wouldn’t be fair of me.
Me: Couldn’t have texted at a better time. What’s up?
Tomas: I was wondering if you wanted to hang out later?
Me: I’d love to.
Tomas: Five okay? We can catch a movie?
Me: Perfect
I purposely put my phone down without locking it, hoping Cole sees the text thread. I’m not sure if he does or not. The drive back to his house is silent, and when we get inside, he goes to his office, and I go up to my room.
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
I’m just going to make sure I have condoms when I do it.