49. Chapter Forty-Nine
The next month flies by. They say time flies when you’re having fun. And boy, is that the truth? The last month has been amazing. I wake up every morning and have breakfast with Cole. Except Sundays when we go to the diner. I make dinner when I get home, except for the days he surprises me and leaves early. Those days I get home to dinner already made. He takes me out to eat sometimes too. We go to the movies. We go bowling. We do stuff together, and though we don’t put on a show in front of people with the PDA, we don’t hide it either. It’s all so natural. I never feel like I can’t kiss him if I want to, and he’s never pulled away when I do. Like when I got excited because I bowled a turkey. I realized what I’d done seconds into the kiss, but when I tried to pull away, he wouldn’t let me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me like no one was watching.
My birthday is on Saturday, just two days away. Mila texted me and asked what I was doing. I haven’t talked to Cole about it yet. He probably doesn’t even remember it’s my birthday. Why would he remember that? What I want to do is spend the day with him. But I should go out with my friends because I haven’t been around them since the fiasco at Mark’s show. It’s bad enough Chris won’t answer me, I shouldn’t ignore everyone else.
I text Mila back.
Me: Nothing planned. What did you have in mind?
Mila: Dinner Friday night?
Me: That sounds good.
Mila: Great! I’ll text you details after I figure them out. Don’t worry about anything. I’ll handle it all!
“Of course you will,” I mutter, putting my phone down to get back to work.
I don’t want to text Cole and mention my birthday and make him feel bad for not knowing. I also don’t want to ignore it and him get upset that I didn’t tell him. Should I invite him? No, I can’t do that. Going out on our own is one thing, but going out with all his son’s friends? That’s a bad idea. At least until I gauge their reaction. After what Chris did, I’m not sure anyone would tell him about it. Not while he’s dealing with all this. It’s not that I plan to tell them about me and Cole, but I’m considering it.
Cole has left work early every day this week to pick me up. I’m making enough money to rideshare back and forth, so I don’t need the rides, but I do love seeing him the moment I get out of work. But today was different because I had to stay late for a meeting. Cole said he was going to work until his normal time, but that was obviously a lie, considering the house smells like dinner is done.
When I’m looking for apartments, I look in areas close to work. I still haven’t found anything I like enough to check into. All the applications I’ve put in so far haven’t gone anywhere, and had I found a place I loved, I’d have reached out. I’m grateful more than ever I can stay with Cole, even though I really should be working harder to move out on my own. That’s always been the goal. I just don’t have much motivation to do it right now.
“Hey, baby,” Cole says when I walk into the kitchen. “How was work?” He glances at me over his shoulder.
He’s standing there, freshly showered in pajama pants and nothing else. That means he was on site today, doing dirty work. When he’s in the office, he stays in those clothes until we shower before bed. Being on site makes him dirty, meaning he showers as soon as he gets home. I like when he’s dirty but haven’t had the balls to tell him that yet. Site days are days I can breathe. It means he hasn’t seen Connie.
I don’t ask about her and force myself to trust that he isn’t seeing her. At least not more than he has to. The thought of him seeing her at all makes me sick, because everything I worry about is still true. He tells me he wants me, and that’s fine, but for how long? How long will hiding in the shadows be enough for him? For me?
“Work was good.” I go to the fridge and grab a beer. “Want one?”
He holds a can up I didn’t realize he had. I close the fridge and crack open the can of beer I grabbed, taking a long sip. It’s refreshing. I take a seat at the table.
“How was your day?” I ask.
“Busy.”
Usually how it is when he’s on site.
I love how simple this is. Walking into the house to dinner. Talking about our day.
This is something I could do every day. I would love to have this all the time—and not with just anyone, but with him. With Cole. It’s routine and stable. It’s the most comfort I’ve felt in my entire life. Cole’s house has always been a home for me, but something about us now? I can breathe better than I ever have before.
And that terrifies me.
“Dinner will be done in about twenty,” he says, turning to face me. I force a smile. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head and tap my fingers on the table. “Mila wants to go out tomorrow for my birthday.”
There, I said it. Mentioned my birthday and going out with friends. Didn’t say he couldn’t go. Didn’t invite him. I left it open.
“But your birthday is on Saturday.” I smile behind the can, taking another sip. So he remembered.
“I think she’s working.”
“Ah. Well, I hope you plan to go with her.”
“It’ll be a bunch of people, knowing her, but I want to. I haven’t seen them in a while.”
He walks over, tilts my head back, and kisses me.
“Then go and have fun.”
It stings a little that he doesn’t want to go. It also makes me happy that he wants me to go and have fun. That he trusts me to go without him.
“Do you ever get jealous?” I ask as he walks back to the stove. I don’t know why I blurt the words out, and after I say them, I feel a little stupid. Especially when I see his shoulders shaking from silent laughter.
“Of course,” he finally says.
“I’d never know,” I mutter.
“Because being jealous has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me, so why would I put that on you?” He looks at me over his shoulder, this time giving me a smile.
“Touche,” I mutter, then finish my beer.
He chuckles as I get up to grab another.
“Do you want to know when I’m jealous?” he asks.
I pause at the fridge, staring inside. Of course he isn’t going to let this go. He never lets things go.
“I’d take it as a compliment,” I say, grabbing the blue can and going back to the table.
He turns, resting against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest.
“Well, I am right now.”
I frown. “Why?”
“Because you are going out with your friends tomorrow night, and I can’t go. You’ll be with them, having fun, and I can’t be a part of it. And I bet the guy who likes you will be there, and though I trust you, I don’t like thinking that he’ll be looking at you. Probably trying to figure out a way to ask you out or get you alone.”
I open my mouth to speak, but he holds a hand up and moves toward me.
“I’m also jealous most days because you spend your entire day with other men, and I don’t like that. I don’t like that you’re with other people all day when I can’t see you because I want to be with you every second of every day, but I’m an adult with responsibilities and I know that isn’t possible. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want it. So yeah, baby, I get jealous. A lot.”
My heart pounds in my chest, but all I can do is smile. Then I start to laugh.
He stands taller, looking down at me with a frown. “I don’t think it’s funny.”
“I’m not laughing because it’s funny,” I say. “I’m laughing because it’s crazy.”
He smirks, still watching me. “Is that so?”
“Yes,” I add through more laughing.
“What I think is crazy is how hard my dick is for you right now, when all you’re doing is sitting there laughing.”
My laughing fades, then so does my smile as I glance at his crotch and see the familiar thick outline of his cock.
I smirk, looking up at him. “I’ll spoil my dinner.”
He slides his pants down, pulling out his dick and stroking it. “I’ll just handle it myself then.”
I watch intently as he strokes himself, stepping back to lean against the counter. His eyes are half lidded, and he’s biting on his bottom lip. He groans quietly, spreading his feet a little wider to get comfortable. Fuck, he’s so sexy. So hot. I want to get on my knees for him. I want to suck him off. Make him feel good. Be the one to make him come. I get to my feet and move to him, about to drop to my knees and do just that. When the front door opens.