Chapter 13
September 2004 - Nantucket Island
Stella told Hilary not to waste time. “You need to get out of that marriage immediately. Don’t wait around.” Hilary knew Stella was right. If she waited for Rodrick and his new actress to break up—an event that was sure to happen soon, she was prone to taking him back. How could she not? Her entire heart belonged to him.
Within a week of seeing Rodrick in People magazine with that actress, Hilary sat in front of a Nantucket divorce lawyer, outlining what she owned in the marriage and how she thought they should split everything up. She was Isabella Helin’s daughter, which meant she was worth much more than Rodrick. But she didn’t want to stiff him, despite what he’d done. She’d loved him for nearly half her life.
The divorce lawyer was named Jefferson Randall, and he’d handled several divorces from this very office here in Nantucket. Apparently, it wasn’t so uncommon for very rich wives to escape to the Nantucket home while their husbands continued their affairs in the city, waiting for paperwork to arrive in the mail. Hilary wasn’t sure if this made her feel less alone or just more foolish.
“You’re being too kind to him,” Jefferson said, peering over his glasses at her. He smelled of very expensive cologne and whiskey. Hilary eyed his extensive collection of European whiskeys and thought Rodrick would be impressed with his taste. She hated that she thought of everything through the lens of Rodrick’s mind.
“I just want to get out of this as quickly and easily as possible,” Hilary said.
“And he wants to get out of this with as much of Isabella Helin’s money as he can,” Jefferson said.
Hilary frowned. “No. He wants to get out of this so he can date young actresses.” But even as she said it, she felt uneasy. Was Rodrick really so money-motivated? Was he really so cruel?
He was a Hollywood man, after all. Maybe Jefferson was right.
“Just think about it,” Jefferson said. “We don’t have to send him anything today. Divorces take months or even years, sometimes. Some exes really enjoy attempting to throw the other under the bus. They see it as getting revenge for all the horrible things in your marriage. Think about something he did that got to you. Did he ever do the dishes? Did he forget your anniversary?”
Hilary’s head thudded. Rodrick had done the dishes often. And he’d never forgotten their anniversary.
“Just think about it,” Jefferson repeated as though it were that simple. As though Hilary could go home, sit in her room, and remember a different past than the one she’d actually lived. Was anyone that creative?
Stella was waiting for Hilary outside Jefferson’s office. When Hilary stepped out, she found Stella in conversation with another woman who looked a little bit younger than Hilary and a little bit older than Stella. She was blotchy-eyed and shaking like a tiny dog.
“We’re going to wait right here for you,” Stella assured her as the woman got up. “Don’t worry.”
When the woman disappeared in Jefferson’s office, Hilary sat down, wiped her tearstained cheek with her sleeve, and furrowed her brow. “Who was that?”
“Her name is Rose,” Stella explained. “She doesn’t have anyone else on the island, and her husband is trying to take everything. She came from literally nothing.”
“Did she sign a prenup?” Hilary asked.
“I didn’t ask.” Stella sighed. “Did you make Rodrick sign one?”
Hilary shook her head. “Jefferson just told me I was a fool.”
“You were young and in love,” Stella said.
“And insane, apparently.”
“You don’t mind waiting for Rose, do you?” Stella asked. “I told her we could all grab dinner after. I don’t want her to be alone.”
“Of course not.”
Hilary understood that being alone was poisonous. It could destroy you.
Over dinner that night, Rose alternated between telling jokes and funny stories and sobbing openly. She wore her heart on her sleeve. This was endearing. Hilary remembered how long it had taken her and Stella to fully open up to each other; it had been a bit like opening a window very slowly to let in the calming breeze. By contrast, Rose let it all out. She was more like a sudden storm.
“You’re the nicest people I’ve met on Nantucket by a long shot,” Rose said, sniffling. “I don’t know which way is up these days. And I don’t dare use the house phone. I’m terrified he’ll charge me for making a long-distance call back to my parents’ place.”
“Why don’t you come home with me?” Hilary suggested, surprising herself. “You can use my phone all night if you want to.”
Rose gasped. “Are you sure?”
Hilary raised her shoulders. There were so many people in her life she wasn’t talking to anymore. Who could she possibly call? Somebody needed to use the phone.
It didn’t take long for Rose to move into one of Hilary’s guest rooms to get out of her horrific situation with her ex. Rose happily babbled all morning over coffee, went for long runs, helped Hilary paint one of the bathrooms, and created such an air of joy in Hilary’s home that Hilary went long stretches of time, hardly thinking about her broken heart. When Rose eventually got a job and moved into her own little apartment, Hilary made her promise to come over whenever she wanted. “My home is your home. You know that.”
Through autumn and into winter, Hilary, Rose, and Stella met a few other “stragglers,” which was what they called themselves at first. Many of them were carrying heaps of grief. They’d been divorced or were going through one; they’d lost someone important; they were very alone. Many of them were struggling to make sense of what was next. Hilary hosted dinner parties at least once a week, sometimes twice, and invited more and more women as time went on. For the first time since her wedding, the house on Nantucket was full and vibrant. Voices came from every room.
All the while, Jefferson was in conversation with Rodrick’s lawyer in California. He didn’t update her often. When he did, he explained that Rodrick’s lawyer was “respectable but not as good as” Jefferson—and that Jefferson was going to ensure that Hilary kept her “Hollywood gold.” His words, not hers.
By this time, Hilary was so exhausted from the entire experience that she asked Jefferson to hurry it up. “Give Rodrick whatever he wants!” she cried in his office one day. Jefferson looked at her with disappointment in his eyes.
Just before Christmas, the tabloids at the grocery store showed a photograph of Rodrick and the actress with a big red line between them. “A LOOK INSIDE THE brEAKUP,” the heading read. Hilary had to force herself not to put the magazine in her cart next to the Christmas ham.
When Hilary had one too many drinks on Christmas Eve, she got up the nerve to ask Stella what she knew about Rodrick’s breakup. Stella had read up on it—both for her own interest and for Hilary’s benefit, just in case she asked.
“The actress ran off with her new co-star,” Stella said. “Rodrick has been quoted as saying she was too young for him, anyway.”
Rose, who was sitting next to Stella with a mug of hot cocoa, giggled into her hand. “Too young! Men take issue with everything. They don’t know what they want, do they?”
Hilary wasn’t sure what to feel. “Did they say if Rodrick was okay?”
Stella squeezed Hilary’s knee. After a long pause, she said, “They said he’s seeing someone else, too.”
Hilary felt the words like a knife. “Who?”
“Another actress. A bit older than the last one,” Stella said with a sigh. “But remember, Hil! You’re through with him. It’s over.”
“You don’t need his crap,” Rose affirmed.
A few minutes later, Hilary made an excuse and went upstairs to put her face on her bedroom pillow. She felt the weight of the world upon her back. Expecting to cry, she steeled herself, pressing either side of the pillow onto her ears. She waited. And waited. But after three or so minutes, no tears came.
From downstairs came the sound of Rose singing Christmas carols. A moment later, the others joined, their voices filling the house. “Hark! The herald angel sings,” they cried. “Glory to the newborn King!”
Hilary clambered to her feet, sniffed, and set her jaw. She wasn’t going to hide from all the love and joy in her house. She wasn’t going to let Rodrick steal her Christmas. She’d been through enough.
It was one of the most beautiful Christmases of her life. It felt remarkable that it was the first without her family. But she had a new family now.
On the day Hilary signed the divorce papers, Stella and the others threw her a divorce party. It was spring already although that seemed impossible. Birds chirped from the trees, and a soft breeze came in off the sound. Hilary sat on the veranda in a light jacket as the girls doted over her, bringing her snacks and calling her a “free woman.” They all knew the trauma this divorce had caused her. They all understood the ache of her broken heart.
Best of all, nobody was telling her that her pain would be over soon. They knew it would last for a very long time. Maybe forever. But it was a cross she wouldn’t have to bear alone.
Stella sat beside her and took her hand. Warmth flooded through Hilary’s arm and into her chest. Stella was watching their other friends as they chatted off to the side about their personal stories and the baggage they had to carry.
“Isn’t this so nice?” Stella asked softly.
“It’s like a sisterhood,” Hilary agreed. “I’ve never had one before.”
Stella smiled and turned back to look Hilary in the eye. “You’re the heartbeat. You know that?”
“I think that might be you.”
Stella laughed. “No way. It’s a sisterhood with a Hilary Salt core. A salty core, if you will.”
“A dash of salt,” Hilary corrected. “Sisterhood with a dash of salt.”
“The Salt Sisters,” Stella said, her eyes sparkling. “Maybe we need a name.”
“We shouldn’t call ourselves that,” Hilary said, even as a smile played across her lips.
But when Stella called over to the group to ask their opinion, the girls agreed it was perfect.
“With a dash of Salt!” Rose cried over the bluffs. “I love how sassy that sounds.”
“Salt Sisters,” Stella said softly. “It’s because of you, Hil. Because you called out to me that day on the beach. It was the loneliest day of my life. And now, we’re all here. On your veranda. Together.”
Hilary had to admit it warmed her to the core. She was single, but she wasn’t alone. She had the rest of her life ahead, with the Salt Sisters in her corner. The darkness remained in the past. It couldn’t hurt her anymore.