21. Chapter 21
Chapter twenty-one
Liria
I t had felt like forever since I got to see Luciana. My emotions were churning at the realization that I was no longer a virgin. I had been wanting to tell her, but it seemed weird to do over text messages.
When I asked her to hang out, I specifically asked for her apartment, so we could hang out in her room alone. If Tall Dino was around, he would listen in and offer his opinion and commentary, which I did not want for this subject.
One of Ettore’s men, Hugo, dropped me off at her apartment. After confirming both Tall and Short Dino’s presence, he gave them a nod and walked off.
“Hey,” she greeted me warmly, pulling me into a tight hug. As I breathed in the scent of her lavender perfume, I felt my anxiety slightly diminish.
“How’s it going?” Tall Dino asked, looking up from one of Luciana’s magazines.
Short Dino just gave a small grunt of acknowledgement. I said hello to all three and followed Luciana into her room, where I firmly shut the door behind me.
“Are you okay?” Luciana asked, her perceptive eyes searching my face. There was an uncanny ability in her gaze to unravel the deepest secrets.
“Well, you know…” I attempted nonchalance, but it came out more forced than natural.
“Spill it,” she said firmly but softly. “I know when something is bothering you.”
I paused for a moment, swallowing hard, and took a deep breath. “I did it .”
“Did what?” she said, looking confused. Her eyes were wide and curious, crinkling at the corners as she studied me.
“Y’know…” I said, too embarrassed to say it aloud. How could people talk so freely about this stuff?
Luciana’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion before realization set in. “You had sex!”
“Don’t say it so loud!” I said, looking at the door in fear someone else might hear.
She laughed, leaning back onto her bed and pulling me down to sit beside her. “Okay, okay, I won’t. So...how was it? Do you feel any different?”
“I don’t know? I guess?”
Luciana and I talked about it before we decided to order pizza. As we sat cross-legged on her bed, scrolling through the pizza topping options on her phone, a comfortable silence descended between us. We had always been good at that - silence. It never felt awkward or forced. Instead, it wrapped around us like a warm blanket, a testament to our close bond.
“Pepperoni and olives?” Luciana asked, glancing up at me. I nodded in agreement, my thoughts still lingering on our previous conversation.
“Olives…” A phantom smell filled my nose. It was almost as if the fermented taste was right in front of me, and it was the most disgusting thing I had ever experienced. My stomach churned, and a wave of nausea hit me. I quickly got up from the bed, rushing to the bathroom down the hall. I knelt over the porcelain bowl, ridding the contents of my stomach into the bowl.
“Are you ok?” Tall Dino stood above me, his arms crossed.
I tried to respond, but again heaved over the bowl.
“Are you pregnant, or something?” he asked, never one for subtlety.
Luciana joined him in the doorway, spectating my illness with a mixture of sympathy and concern etched on her face. “TD, you can’t just ask someone that!”
“Well, why not?” Tall Dino replied, challenging Luciana with a sideways glance. “It’s a legitimate question! She suddenly starts throwing up at the mention of olives-”
“You were listening in on us?!” I was so frustrated that I managed to lift my head and give him a piercing glare.
“I was walking down the hallway and happened to overhear your conversation.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, that’s one way to remember your first time.”
I was surprised I hadn’t murdered Tall Dino by now. However, he and Luciana had come to my rescue before, so I was in his debt. And his personality could be endearing, sometimes.
“Hey! You know more than if you just walked down the hallway,” Luciana said. She and Tall Dino squabbled back and forth, before finally being interrupted by Short Dino shoving a bottle of Gatorade between them. I reached out and grabbed the bottle, taking a sip to rid my mouth of the horrible taste.
“Enough,” commanded Short Dino, looking from Tall Dino to Luciana. They both went silent. When Short Dino talked, it was with purpose, and they didn’t dare question anything he said. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” I mumbled back, taking another sip of the Gatorade.
I couldn’t be pregnant - right? I hadn’t even… The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I hadn’t even considered the possibility until now. A sequence of events played back in my mind, the timeline fitting too perfectly to be dismissed.
“But it took my mom like five years to get pregnant with me,” I said, trying not to hyperventilate. “And then she was never able to again. I didn’t think it would be this easy to get pregnant!”
“Calm down,” Short Dino said. His voice had a soothing quality to it, not too different from a lullaby. It was much more pleasant to listen to than Tall Dino’s, and I wished it was him that did more talking. “You don’t even know for sure, yet.”
“Well, there’s only one way to find out,” Luciana said, fists curled in a determined position. “Let’s go to the store and buy a pregnancy test!”
Without a moment’s hesitation, Luciana grabbed my hand and led me towards the door. Tall Dino followed behind us, chuckling to himself, while Short Dino brought up the rear. I already felt dizzy, and the whole scenario had an unreal quality to it, as if it was some sort of surreal dream.
We piled into the car, and I wanted to disappear into the car cushions. This was surely the most embarrassing moment of my life. Short Dino was driving and Tall Dino was riding shotgun, while Luciana and I sat silently in the back. With every bump in the road, I felt myself jolt with uncertainty.
As we neared the store, Luciana squeezed my hand for reassurance. It was a small gesture, but it meant a lot. She was someone who could handle even the most chaotic situations with grace and ease - something I wished I could emulate in that moment.
Tall Dino broke the silence as we parked. “Well, let’s go inside, then.”
“I-I can’t do that!” I said, my fingers curling into the seats. “Then a stranger will know.”
“And? They don’t care,” he responded.
“But I do!” I protested, my voice sounding small and vulnerable in the enclosed space of the car.
Luciana intervened then, her grip on my hand momentarily tightening. “It’s okay, I’ll go in and buy it.”
“You,” Short Dino interjected in a very stern tone. “Go nowhere without one of us.”
“Don’t need Emilio getting the wrong idea,” Tall Dino mused, flashing a mischievous smile. “A girl and her bodyguard walk in to buy a pregnancy test-”
“Oh my god, TD, will you shut up?” Luciana said, nibbling on her thumbnail.
“Well, I think my jokes are fun-”
“Stop!” Short Dino near yelled, causing everyone in the car to jump. His gruff voice had an edge of irritation to it. “I’ll get it. Wait here.” Short Dino opened the door and made his way into the store, leaving an eerie silence in his wake.
“Did he just…” I asked, unable to believe that Short Dino’s voice had reached a tone that loud.
“I’ve never heard him raise his voice,” Tall Dino said in disbelief.
“Neither have I,” Luciana added, her eyes wide and her voice a whisper.
We sat in silence, waiting for Short Dino to return, the tension palpable. The car felt somehow smaller, and I couldn’t help but notice the way Luciana started tapping the end of her thumbnail against the car window in a nervous rhythm. I echoed her gesture on my knee, as if the tapping could somehow ease the heavy blanket of silence encapsulating us.
In what felt like an eternity, but was probably only minutes, we saw Short Dino emerge from the store holding a bag. He opened the car door and tossed the bag into my lap before sliding back into his seat without uttering a single word. He started the car, and we sped off, leaving behind the bright lights of the store in the dimming twilight. Everyone remained silent, even Tall Dino, whose usual cheeky chatter was noticeably absent.
Suddenly, the tension high and the silence unbearable, Luciana burst into laughter. It was a piercing, almost hysterical giggle at first, before deepening into a full-throated laugh that made her clutch her sides. The absurdity of the situation seemed to have finally caught up with her.
Tall Dino looked bewildered at first, then grinned as he joined her laughter, his deep chuckle almost drowning out the soft hum of the car engine. The laughter was contagious; before I knew it, I was holding my stomach and giggling along with them.
Short Dino remained quiet throughout the laughter-filled journey. But, in between my fits of giggles, I caught the smallest smile on his face in the rearview mirror.
“Let’s get back to business,” Luciana said as we arrived back at the apartment.
“Right!” I responded, my brows furrowing in determination.
Luciana dumped the contents of the bag on the coffee table. Short Dino had bought one of every single test. “Uh… SD, I think just one would have been fine.”
He looked at her and shrugged, before turning back to reading the newspaper. It didn’t take long for him to resume his usual personality.
“I’ll just use this one, I guess.” I said, choosing a box with no rhyme or reason.
Luciana and I read the directions together. Speed-reading through the convoluted instructions, our heads bobbed simultaneously to the rhythm of the text. I could feel the warmth of her shoulder brushing against mine as we leaned closer, our focus narrowing down to the piece of paper in front of us.
“Two lines for positive, one line for negative,” Luciana read aloud, her brow furrowed in concentration. “And you have to dip it in pee.”
After giving me a cup, she shoved me into the bathroom.
“Good luck!” she chirped from behind the closed door, her voice a touch too cheerful for the gravity of the situation.
I didn’t need luck—I needed a miracle. My hands were trembling as I held the cup, staring at my reflection in the mirror. What was I hoping to find there? Assurance? Strength?
The mirror reflected only uncertainty masked behind a thin veil of hopefulness. I took a deep breath in an attempt to steady my nerves. It was neither the first nor the last time I’d come face to face with life-altering decisions, but the weight of it never seemed to lighten.
After following the directions and laying the stick on the counter, I waited. In less than a minute, two lines appeared. I blinked, certain my eyes were deceiving me. Two lines. Positive.
I sat down on the edge of the bathtub, the cold ceramic a sharp contrast to the heat radiating off me. The room seemed to spin, my vision blurring as I squeezed my eyes shut.
“Are you ok in there?” Luciana’s voice filtered through the door, her tone laced with genuine concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine…” My voice came out as an unconvincing whisper, echoing hollowly on the cool bathroom tiles.
I stood up, steadying myself against the cold porcelain sink. My eyes locked onto those two little lines that would forever change my life, hoping if I stared hard enough, they would somehow vanish.
What would Ettore think? As thoughts of him swirled around my head, a deep sense of worry clawed at my heart.
“What does it say?” Luciana asked through the door.
I tried to respond, but couldn’t get the words out. Instead, I opened the door and placed the test in her hand. Always nosy, Tall Dino hovered over her shoulder, also wanting to know the answer.
“Oh shit,” they said in unison.