17. Amelia
It's past two in the morning and the emergency room is starting to quiet down for the night. The rush seems to be over. Thank goodness, because my feet ache and I need to sit down for a while.
"We just need some stitches done, a small wound. The guy is waiting in room three. I gave him a sedative because he was really worked up about something that I didn't understand because his speech wasn't exactly clear. I think he's taken meth. From what I could get out of him. Either way, whatever uppers he took, he took a lot of them. I'd give him another five to calm down a bit before I go in there with a needle."
Sarah leans over the nurses' counter to hand me his medical folder. I sigh. One more idiot to take care of.
"No problem, I'll sort it out," I say, taking the folder from Nurse Sarah who has been on duty with me since eight o'clock.
We've both been at it nonstop for the past few hours. She looks as tired as I am.
It's always midnight when the real chaos starts. Usually, it's a lot worse on the weekends than on weeknights, but tonight those drunken idiots obviously had some extra reason to drink more. Maybe there was a game on that I didn't know about. Who knows.
Usually, as nurses in the emergency room, we make it our business to know when things are happening in the world so that we can prepare for the inevitable outcome of those things.
I've been distracted lately though.
Tonight, I've dealt with two stabbings, one broken bottle wound, a concussion from drunken driving, an overdose that required a stomach pumping, and a broken arm.
The other nurse on duty has mostly taken care of the late-night sick kids, tummy bugs, high fevers, and that sort of thing, only helping with the drama when I was too swamped.
We take it in turns to deal with the shit show on the night shift and it was my turn this evening. She has helped a lot though, when I didn't have enough hands or time to get through the mess.
Looking down at the folder in my hands I read through the patient's file for a moment or two, taking my time, letting those sedatives do their work.
I was busy with the broken arm case when he came in, so Sarah did the prep work for me.
I glance at my watch; it's been ten minutes since she dosed him. That should be enough time.
I head over to the supplies cabinet and get what I need to stitch up his wound. A gash on his shoulder. Jagged and deep. Probably another broken bottle and a disagreement over something stupid. It's always something stupid at the end of the day.
When I have all the things I need on the stainless steel tray I head through to room three.
"Hello. I'm Nurse Amelia. I heard you have a bit of a cut that needs stitching." I say as friendly and warm as I can.
"Fucking cunt." The guy mumbles.
"Who?" I tilt my head.
"The mother fucker who thought he could take me down. He doesn't know who I am. He doesn't know who he's messing with."
"I see."
His speech is almost inaudible, slow, and slurred. But the sedative is definitely working. The usually fast, jittery speech of someone on meth has settled down. His words are angry, but he doesn't have the energy to really do anything about his mood.
"Can I ask you to roll onto your side? I want to take the bandage off and clean it up before we stitch it."
"Umph."
I push him gently until he rolls over.
Nurse Sarah had already cleaned the wound when she bandaged it, but I could see she was struggling with him, and I'll need to clean it again, which is no problem.
I pull the bandage off slowly and start cleaning the gash on his shoulder.
He hasn't spoken again and when I lean over I see his eyes are closed. Thank goodness. I wasn't in the mood for another difficult patient. I've had enough of those tonight.
Even though he is asleep I inject a local anesthetic and then get to work with the stitches.
I'm brilliant with sutures. I take pride in my work because a good suture means almost no scar and better healing. Of course, I can't control if this idiot leaves here, gets into another fight, and rips his stitches open. That's on him.
Wrapping the nylon thread around the needle to tie the last knot I nod at my work in satisfaction. Another good job.
I wipe away the blood, clean the wound one last time, and then place a fresh bandage over it.
I pull the blanket over the guy and leave.
Back at the nurses' station, I find Sarah reading a magazine.
"He's out cold. I think we can just leave him there for an hour or two to sleep it off."
I say, leaning against the counter, sliding the folder beneath the wooden edge.
"He can chill there as long as we don't need the room. If we need the room he's going to have to get his high ass off the bed and sleep it off in the waiting room."
"Fair enough. Who's next?"
"That was the last one. Seems to be quieter now. Do you want to go and check on Elle? I'll just call you if I need you."
"Are you sure?" I ask, hopeful. I haven't had a chance to see her tonight.
"Obviously I'm sure." She chuckles. "Send her my love."
I'm on duty with Sarah for the entire night shift so we'll both be here until six.
Now that the rush is over I can finally go and sit with Elle.
During night shifts I mostly find her fast asleep, but there are some nights when the pain is so bad that she lays awake, uncomfortable, and struggling. Then I am glad to be here with her, just to hold her hand and read her stories, because that's all I can actually do.
Tonight though, thankfully, she is asleep and looking peaceful.
I stare down at her beautiful little face.
I haven't told her about moving in with Stefano yet. I'm not sure how to explain it to her. She is going to have so many questions that I can't answer.
Well - that I don't want to answer.
I reach out to touch her cheek but then pull my hand back again. I don't want to disturb her, not when she is this peaceful.
I walk over to the sofa near her bed.
I lift my legs up on the single-seater chair and curl them beneath me, snuggling myself in comfortably.
Leaning my head against the back I close my eyes for a moment. I really need to try and get more sleep. I can't go on like this. I'll run myself down to the bone and I won't be able to do anything for Elle or for my own patients. I'm no good to anyone like this.
But the constant stress Stefano has placed me under, I don't know how to handle it. It's all new to me and I'm not sure what his intentions are for me or Elle. I should have left the country. I should have gotten further away.
I sigh softly. There's no point in thinking about what should have or could have now.
Listening to the gentle beeping of Elle's heart monitor is soothing.
I start drifting off to sleep.
"Ehem." A male voice cleared his throat, a polite gesture to pull me back awake.
For a moment my subconscious tells me to just ignore it and keep resting, but of course, I can't do that. I am on duty after all.
I open my eyes and to my surprise I find Matteo staring down at me, his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.
"Sorry, you looked so peaceful, but I came to check in, to see if everything was going ok?"
"You mean to make sure I was still around, that I hadn't tried to run off with my daughter."
"Yes, you caught me. I'm here to check on you."
I sit up on the sofa, rubbing my eyes to wake myself up fully. I'm not in the mood to deal with this guy, or to reassure him so that he can go home and reassure Stefano. "Matteo. Everything's fine. You can report that to your brother." I snap.
“Half brother." He chuckles.
"Whatever." I sigh deeply, too tired to give out this much energy.
"You look like shit," Matteo says, dragging a chair closer to me.
"Thanks for stating the obvious," I reply sarcastically.
"But seriously. How is Elle doing?"
I sigh again; it's becoming a bad habit. But this time it's filled with resolve. A sort of acceptance. His seemingly genuine concern for my daughter reminds me that I still desperately need a donor and if I'm going to put energy into anything - it should be that.
"She's not doing well. She needs a donor. Without it, she is going to die." The words catch in my throat.
"Is there anything I can do?" Matteo asks, sounding sincere.
I stare at him for a moment. There's no harm in trying. There's no harm in asking. All he can do is say no.
"You have a sister, don't you? Stefano's half-sister?"
"I do; what about her?"
"I've never met her. I just heard about her. Do you think - do you think that you and your sister would possibly get tested? To see if you are a donor match for Elle?"
"What makes you think that anyone in my family would be a match for Elle?"
I shake my head. "I'm just desperate, Matteo. I'll ask anyone."
He chuckles. "But that's not actually true is it?"
"I don't know what you mean." My stomach knots. Maybe there was harm in asking.
"Elle is my brother's daughter, isn't she? Stefano is her father." The knots pull tighter.
I know, it doesn't take a genius to work it out when you realize I am chasing members of Stefano's family for donor tests. But Matteo's knowing is a risk in itself.
I don't want Stefano to know. I think the risk of him knowing is worse than the risk of him not knowing.
I turn towards him, staring straight into his eyes. There is no point in denying it at this point, but maybe I can still delay the inevitable of Stefano getting that piece of information.
I just need some time to work out what is going on. What he wants from me.
"Please - don't tell Stefano. I'm begging you."
He leans back in the chair, crossing his legs and I can see - I can see that he knows he has something to hold over me now. Fuck. This is bad.
"I can keep a secret." He nods.
I furrow my brows together.
"And will you and your sister get tested?" I may as well ask again, seeing as he knows now.
Matteo's eyes narrow towards me as he considers my request. Then he smiles.
"Of course, we will, Amelia. Of course."
"Thank you so… "
"But - you have to do something for me in return." His smile darkens and I think to myself. There he is. The Matteo I know. The asshole. The selfish creep.
But if he's willing to get tested and possibly be Elle's donor - I would do anything for that.
"What do you want from me, Matteo?" I run my hands across my face trying to wipe away the tired feeling that seems to be soaked right into my veins.
I am tired to my bones, and I think at this point I need a week's worth of sleep before I can start to feel a little bit normal again. I don't feel like myself at all lately.
"I run a business. A side hustle. And for my business I need hospital supplies; some of them are not that easy to come by. But here we are - where you work - at a hospital. It seems too good an opportunity to not take advantage of."
"You want me to get the supplies you need from the hospital? How am I supposed to do that? I'd have to steal them. It's not like I can apply to purchase them or something?"
"Do you want me to see if I am a possible donor for Elle?"
"I could lose my job, everything, and then how will I take care of her?"
He shrugs, that stupid smirk on his face is pissing me off.
With my tiredness comes short-temperedness towards assholes like him.
"The choice is yours, Amelia. You don't have to do it. But that is my offer. That's what I want in return."
I shake my head.
I hate Stefano, and I hate his brother too.
They might only be half-related, but they are the same.
Selfish fucking assholes.
I feel my insides churning when I speak again. I know it's wrong. I know it's a terrible risk.
"I'll do it - if, and only if you are a match." What am I getting myself into?
"That seems fair. Me or my sister though. Either of us. If one of us is a match you will get me what I want?" He tilts his head from side to side, weighing up my counteroffer. "It's a deal then?"
"It's a deal - I guess." I bite my lower lip.
I should say thanks because he'll get the tests done, but I feel disgusting. I just agreed to steal from the hospital. But if that's what it takes to save Elle's life then that is what I will do.
If he's a match.
I started to wonder just how far I would go to save her. What lines would I cross? What boundaries would I overstep? At this point, I don't think there is anything I wouldn't do for her.
I'm so lost in thought - worry - stress - and questioning my own choices - that I forget Matteo is still in the room and when he stands up and stretches I actually jump frightened.
"I'm going to get out of your hair then." He says. "And I'll be in touch soon, once I've spoken to my sister. You can send me Elle's doctor's details so that I can make an appointment with him."
"I'll send them now." I nod, pulling out my phone. If he's agreed to testing I don't want to delay it. Elle can't wait much longer.
Matteo says goodbye, as though we were long-lost friends, and I feel even weirder about everything.
I didn't ask what business he runs that needs hospital supplies. Certainly, nothing to do with the casino.
What is he doing on the side? I wonder if he's working with Stefano on that business and if Stefano would approve of me stealing from the hospital for it. It seems like such a stupid risk to take.
Fuck.
Stefano doesn't give a shit about anything or anyone but himself. Why in the world do I think he would care about me stealing from a hospital?
I slump back in the single-seater sofa next to Elle's bed and sigh deeply.
On my lap, my phone starts vibrating softly.
I lift it up, checking the message.
Sarah: Need your help in ER. Three people just came in at the same time.
Shit. There goes even the slightest chance I had of getting a little bit of sleep.
I stand up, tucking my phone back into my pocket.
With one last look at Elle I leave the room, heading back to the emergency room and whatever chaos needs my attention in there.
The entire time I'm wondering what kind of equipment or products Matteo is going to expect me to steal and how the hell I'm going to pull that off.
I should try not to worry about it now. The chances of him even being a match are so low. I'll worry about it when and if I need to. I don't need extra stress for no reason.
"Oh thank goodness you're back." Sarah rushes over when she spots me.
"What's going on?"
"Car accident. One guy went straight to surgery and the doctor has asked for you. You have to scrub in. I can deal with the other two guys; they were actually wearing seat belts, so their injuries aren't anywhere near as bad."
"Shit, ok, I better run." I take off at a fast jog towards the operating room.
I guess tonight is far from over.