Chapter 24
Kane had no clue where he was going. He just knew that he needed to get Kaitlin alone. He felt like he was on the verge of exploding.
He kept reliving that moment when they’d blown the door open. The smoke had cleared and there had been no one there. He’d thought he’d lost her again.
Her hand felt small in his. He tightened his grip.
“Ouch,” she muttered.
He loosened his hold. After all, she wasn’t going anywhere. At least her color had come back. He hadn’t realized how terrified she was of flying. Hell, he hadn’t thought she was scared of anything.
There were two doors at the back of the plane.
The first led into what was clearly a galley, complete with a flight attendant.
He slammed the door quickly and tried the next one.
It opened onto a spacious bedroom, dominated by a big double bed.
And better yet, it was empty. He hustled her inside and closed the door behind them.
Kaitlin turned to face him and looked up, eyebrows raised. He almost smiled. He was glad she was back—he didn’t like to see her vulnerable.
Then his anger rose again.
He was furious. With her, with him. With the rest of the Kindred who had allowed her to run riot and do whatever she damn well pleased.
He’d been right and she’d been wrong, and she should damn well admit it.
He ripped off the reflector device and hurled it on the bed. Maybe it would be a good idea for her to get inside his head. It might wipe that supercilious expression from her face.
Her eyes widened. Then narrowed. She was no doubt reading him. He wanted inside her head so badly, but she curled her lip.
“Not a chance.”
Damn. She was still keeping him out.
“Yup.” She nodded. “Look, why don’t you just let all that anger out? It’s not good for you to bottle it up like that.”
Okay, she asked for it. “That was the most stupid, dangerous, harebrained plan you have ever come up with. I told you back in Scotland, but would you listen? You not only put yourself at risk, but Josie, too. Not to mention every one of us who had to go in and rescue you.”
“Maybe, but we assessed the risks and decided they were worth it. We needed information. And it was a good plan. How were we to know they would go to such elaborate lengths to set a trap for us?”
He counted to ten in his head and exhaled. “Those people—whoever they are—could have just taken what they wanted from your head and then killed you both.” He turned away and ran his hands through his hair.
“Do you feel better now?” she asked.
“No, I don’t fucking feel better. How could I have fallen in love with a fucking kid with a death wish?”
For a moment, her eyes widened again. Shit.
Had he really just told her that he loved her?
It wasn’t how he’d ever envisaged making a declaration of love.
Actually, he’d never expected to love anyone.
But there was no point in keeping it to himself.
She was in his head. She knew how he felt, even if she didn’t like it.
Hell, he was guessing everyone knew how he felt.
Then her expression hardened. “I’m not a fucking kid. I haven’t been a fucking kid for a long, long time. In case you hadn’t noticed.”
“Oh, I noticed.” He closed his eyes for a moment.
When he opened them, she was standing with her hands on her hips, glaring at him.
He allowed his gaze to drop down over her body, taking in her full breasts under the black sweater, her slim waist, rounded hips and long, long legs.
Christ, she was no child. She was all woman.
His body tightened in an instinctive reaction.
“Good,” she said.
“Good?” What the hell did she mean by that? He felt totally off balance, as though the world was tilting beneath him.
She pursed her lips. “Don’t take this as an undying declaration of love or anything, but I decided that if you want me, you can have me.”
He went completely still.
Was she joking?
She didn’t look like she was joking.
Christ, he wished he could get in her head, see what she was thinking. “And when did you have this startling change of mind? I remember you telling me it would be a cold day in hell before you let me touch you.”
She gave a nonchalant shrug. “You kissed me.”
“And I think you told me it would never happen again.”
She licked her lips, and heat shot straight to his groin. A small glint of amusement flared in her eyes. She knew exactly what she was doing to him. “I liked it,” she said. “I’ve kissed a lot of men, and most of the time, I didn’t think much of it. And sex was always sort of disappointing.”
Probably because most of the time, she’d done it purely to get back at him. She’d always made sure he knew about her conquests.
“Maybe. A little.” At least she was being honest. “But I did want to experience life, and truthfully, at that point, I would never, and I mean really never, have considered anything happening between us.”
“What changed?”
“I had a near-death revelation. I realized, when I thought I might be going to die, that I was sorry we’d never had sex.
I made a vow that if I got out of there, I would.
..” She frowned, then shrugged. “Let you know I was available. I don’t always like you.
But in a weird way, I trust you. And...” She hesitated as though she wasn’t sure she wanted to say the next bit, but then she took a deep breath.
“You came back for me. You put me before the mission and came to save me. I honestly never thought that would ever happen.”
“The time machine isn’t going anywhere.”
“Unless those agents get there first and steal it.”
He didn’t think that was likely. The place was well guarded. But talking about stealing the time machine brought something else to his thoughts. Something powerful and intrusive enough to shift his mind from his hardening dick.
She’d been planning on stealing his goddamn time machine. She was crazy.
Her eyes widened again, and he knew she’d picked up the thought.
“You got that out of Steve’s head, didn’t you?”
“You shouldn’t have told him then,” he growled. “Your planning sucks.”
“I didn’t tell him. Josie blurted it out before I could tell her not to. I told Josie because I needed to tell someone, and she’s the one person you can’t read. Well, apart from me.”
“Jesus, you really planned to steal the machine and go back and save your brother?”
“It seemed like a good idea at the time. Okay, maybe not a good idea but once it came into my head, it refused to leave again. What’s the point of having a time machine if you can’t do anything useful with it?
Oh, I forgot—you were going to do something useful.
You were going to save the world. Or not.
In fact, you have no idea what you’re going to do, or what you’re supposed to do, or even if you’re one of the good guys or one of the bad guys.
You were just going to blindly do what you were told because. .. I don’t even know why.”
In a dazzling flash of clarity, he realized she was right.
She smirked. “I usually am.”
He sank down onto the mattress and rubbed his head. All his life, he had aimed for an invisible goal. He’d thought he was some sort of mystical savior. He’d always looked down on people who believed in religion. He’d thought he had a higher calling.
Instead, he suspected he was just the product of a crazy, fucked-up cosmic accident.
A job that had gone wrong and hurtled his ancestors into a situation they had no way out of.
They’d done their best. And all through the millennia, there had been one strand that had never wavered—they had to complete their mission.
“You know,” Kaitlin murmured. “One of the agents said something. She said that the Tel Group—that’s what they called themselves—always complete their missions. Always.”
The words resonated in his head. How many times had he heard something similar while he was growing up? The mission must be completed. And he saw the truth with startling clarity.
The mission wasn’t some mystical prophecy for saving the world. It was just a job. A job that had gone catastrophically wrong.
He might never know the actual details of the job. Was it for good or evil? Maybe neither. He didn’t know, but from now on, he would keep an open mind.
And with that decision made, he let it go. All of it. The doubts and the fears that he’d got it wrong. That he was recklessly following a course when he had no clue of the destination.
At what point had he started questioning? Probably when Jonas had his accident. Before that, it had all seemed like a fantastic game. He was special, and they had been put there for a reason. An important reason. But then, once he’d been in charge, making the decisions, everything changed.
Jonas had been a father to him, and he’d never questioned the older man’s guidance. He’d promised Jonas, on his deathbed, that he would see the mission through to the end. And he’d done terrible things to try and make his promise come true.
But Jonas had also just been a man, one who was not infallible. He’d never even been out of the Mountains of the Moon. Never seen anything of the world.
In that moment, Kane made a promise to himself.
He would no longer forge ahead blindly. He wasn’t giving up.
But he would make decisions based on what he knew and not some nebulous prophecy that had come down through generations, distorted along the way until it bore little resemblance to the truth.
One of the things he’d always felt the worst about was not helping Sam. It had likely been too late by the time he was aware of the boy’s existence, but he should have tried.
A hand rested on his thigh, and he opened his eyes. He hadn’t even noticed her sitting down beside him.
“I’m sorry about Sam,” he said.
“So am I. But it was my fault as much as yours. More really. He was mine to protect, and I failed him.”
“You didn’t. You were a child yourself.” He sighed, suddenly tired.
“You want the time machine? As far as I’m concerned, it’s yours.
Not that it’s mine to give, but you have my blessing.
Hell, you even have my help. I’ll help you steal the fucking thing.
Or I would, if we knew how it worked. But I have every faith that Christa will get it going.
We’ll go back in time, and we’ll save your brother.
I reckon that’s as good a use as anything else.
After all, maybe that’s what will save the Earth from this cataclysm. ”