Chapter 37
Kaitlin stared after him as Kane disappeared down the track.
Her chest ached. She suspected it might be her heart breaking, then chided herself for being melodramatic.
She thought about trying to make her own way back, but maybe she was better off here.
Kane clearly didn’t want her with him right now.
Besides, she’d used up the last of her strength getting to him.
What a waste of time that had been.
He’d totally shut down. Shut her out.
What the fuck!
She lay back and stared at the sky, keeping her mind blank, not moving even when she heard the vehicle pull up. She finally turned her head as the driver came to stand over her. Dave stared down, hands shoved in his pockets, a frown between his eyes.
“Thanks for coming to get me.” She heaved herself into a sitting position, wincing as pain shot through her ankle.
“My pleasure. I had to get out of there,” he said. “Everyone is pretty tense.”
Crouching down, he scooped her up gently, and placed her in the passenger seat. Then he came around and climbed in beside her, handing her a flask. “Jake sent this.”
She unscrewed the top—it was Scotch—and took a deep swallow. The alcohol went straight to her head, no doubt mingling with the aftereffects of the painkillers. She took another swig and rested her head back.
“Love is hard,” she said.
Dave chuckled. “Nah. You just picked the wrong guy.”
“I know.” She sighed, then took another swallow. “I always knew. Why do you think I fought so hard and so long?” And another. “Kane’s an asshole.”
“He is.”
“But it’s too late to take my heart back. I’m fucked.”
“Yup.”
She’d emptied the flask by the time they reached the house. It took all of about three minutes. And she was hardly aware as Dave picked her up and carried her inside, gently lowering her to her bed.
She must have slept because the next thing she knew, Rose was nudging her. “Wake up, sleepy. We’re having a funeral. I thought you’d want to be there.”
Kaitlin struggled to pull herself from sleep. Her head felt fuzzy, and something really hurt at the end of her left leg. Rose handed her a couple of pills and a glass of water. “Christa sent them for the pain. And the hangover.”
“Thanks.”
“And here are some clean clothes.”
Rose dropped a bundle on the bottom of the bed. “Do you need any help?”
Probably. But she decided to go for looking strong and silent, so she shook her head.
“Okay then. Dave will come and get you in ten minutes to carry you to the burial ground.”
“Thanks.”
Rose’s eyes narrowed. “You’re not very talkative.”
She shrugged. It was true. But she couldn’t think of anything to say. Everything was so fucked up, it was unbelievable. Talking about it wouldn’t help.
Rose patted her arm. “Everything will work out.”
Was she crazy? How the hell could everything work out?
Leila and Brandon were dead. So was the colonel, though that wasn’t such a bad thing, even if he had saved her life.
The time machine was gone. The bad guys had a bomb that they were very likely going to use to blow up the world.
And she’d told Kane she loved him, and only hours later, he’d completely shut her out.
She wanted him so badly, her chest ached. It was becoming a permanent thing.
How could anything work out?
So she just glared, and Rose gave her another pat and left the room. “Ten minutes,” she called back.
Kaitlin was ready when Dave arrived, but only just. If getting undressed had been hard, getting dressed had been almost impossible.
And then she’d made the mistake of looking in the mirror.
One side of her face was bruised and swollen.
It looked like she’d been on the losing side of a boxing match.
Her lip was also split, and blood crusted at the corner. Ugh.
She’d wiped a damp cloth over her face. That would have to do.
Dave carried her outside. The burial site was about a hundred feet from the house, a flat area surrounded by a fence. It held maybe a dozen graves, each with a wooden plaque. And three newly dug holes.
Dave deposited her on the only chair and patted her head. Christ, it was like she was six years old or something. She must look really pathetic. Kane was nowhere in sight. With no other option, she sat back and let the sun warm her through.
Finally, they came, carrying the bodies wrapped in simple shrouds.
Kane led the way, no doubt carrying Leila’s body. He didn’t even look in her direction but just kept his gaze straight ahead.
Jake and Imogen came next—that would be the colonel. Christa walked behind them, her head down, though she glanced up as they passed Kaitlin and gave her a wan smile.
And finally, Stefan and Dave with Brandon’s body.
The others walked behind; Rose, Josie and Steve, Finn, Chase, Imogen, Dexter, Connor, and Ryder. It was all of them, except for Sadie, who was in Australia, and Quinn, who was God knows where. Hopefully, he was safe in some unknown future. No one had been left to guard the perimeter.
There was nothing left to guard.
No words were spoken, either out loud or in their heads, as the bodies were laid to rest. Kaitlin kept her own mind blank.
After it was over, Kane finally turned in her direction. She could see the grief in his eyes, and she hurt for him. Even without going into his head, she could sense his despair. She wanted to hug him, but he was giving out “keep away” vibes so strong, they hovered in the air between them.
He came over and stopped in front of her, shoving his hands in his pockets. “How do you feel?”
Stupid question. “How do I look?”
A faint smile flashed across his face but was gone as quickly as it had come. “Like crap.”
“There you are then. How about you?”
“Like crap.” He exhaled. “There’s a meeting. We need to decide what to do next.”
“What do you want to do?”
“Right now, nothing comes to mind. I can’t see past this.” He waved a hand at the fresh graves behind him. “It’s strange. I’d convinced myself that I was doing the right thing. Turning my back on the mission—”
“You weren’t turning your back,” Kaitlin said.
“You were just keeping an open mind.” She’d never seen him like this—so lacking in confidence.
He’d always been certain of the way forward, that his chosen direction was the right and only one.
She’d often found his total self-confidence annoying. Now she wanted it back. He seemed lost.
“Leila and Brandon believed I was betraying our purpose—the very reason we were here. Maybe if I’d stuck with them, the others would never have taken the machine.”
“Or you’d be in the ground as well. Dead, like they are.”
“Maybe I should be.”
She gritted her teeth. Now she was getting seriously pissed. Again. “Well, just hang around for a while and likely you’ll get there,” she snapped. “If there’s anyone left to bury you.”
His eyes widened a little at her pissy tone. Then narrowed. “I might just do that.”
Well, she wasn’t going to hang around. She was going to do what she could to save the goddamn world, and Kane could come along, or he could...
Her heart hurt, though. Had it only been a few hours ago that they had made love so beautifully? She’d known she was in love. And she’d been happy about that. She should have known she and love did not mix well.
She peered around. The others had already left, and the place was deserted but for her and Kane and the dead.
She tried to push herself up, but her ankle wouldn’t hold her, and she collapsed back again.
She should have brought her stick. Maybe Kane would just leave her here, and no one would notice she wasn’t even with them, and she’d be here all night and. ..
She was really starting to feel sorry for herself, and she hated that most of all.
But before she could wallow in any more self-pity, Kane leaned down and scooped her up in his arms. He cradled her close to his chest, and for a moment, she held herself tense.
Then she relaxed against him, resting her head against his heart, feeling the slow, steady thud.
She breathed in the warm, masculine scent of him, so familiar now, and closed her eyes as he carried her back to the house, both of them silent.
Just outside he paused, and she opened her eyes and stared up into his face. He looked...sad.
“I’m—”
“If you say you’re sorry again, I might just slap you,” she growled.
He snorted. “I won’t then.”
“Have you seen Kpo?” She’d been worried about the big cat.
“Yes. He turned up a little dazed and confused. I presume he’d been stunned.”
“I’m glad he’s okay. Right…” She sighed. “I suppose we should get this over with.”
He nodded, then kicked open the door with his foot, and carried her in, through the house and to the meeting room at the back. He put her down on the corner of a sofa, then disappeared, coming back a minute later carrying a plate piled with sandwiches and a cold beer.
“I could hear your stomach rumbling all the way here.”
She hadn’t even realized she was hungry until the food was in front of her. She was ravenous. But that was hardly surprising; she hadn’t eaten all day. “Thanks.”
He took the seat beside her. But despite the physical closeness, she could sense the yawning vastness between them. Jake had told her to give him time. Unfortunately, that was one thing they didn’t have. She shook off the thought and concentrated on something she could control. Eating.
The room was filling up. Everyone appeared subdued, though that was hardly surprising.
Jake and Christa came in last; Jake’s arm curved around her shoulder, holding her close.
Clearly, Christa had been crying, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy.
He released her, and she took a seat at the back of the room, while Jake headed to the front. He stood facing them all.
“Before we start, we’ll just take a moment to think about those we lost today.”