Chapter 25
Chapter twenty-five
Duncan
The Fuck is a Spoonula?
"Cap! Can I borrow Andre later?" I ask as I toss my gloves to our equipment manager Luke for him to place on the dryer. I didn’t expect to get this sweaty leading a camp.
To be fair I thought it was going to be a bunch of seven year olds.
Instead we led a group of cocky little bastard teenagers so I pushed myself to show them how much work they have to do to get to my level.
They have a long way to go.
I’m the first guy to stand in your corner to support you. But I”m also the first guy to knock you down a peg when you need it.
I probably shouldn’t feel as cocky about them slugging out of here and crying to mommy.
They’re still technically children.
Which is why this camp is wrapping up at three in the afternoon.
Rhys arrives in D.C. next week. He’s been busy with music festivals and writing music so we’ve been stuck with texting and occasional phone calls.
Okay, phone sex, I’m only a human man.
I’ve been plenty busy too. Crosby still needs my support. I came up with a brilliant idea to make his guest bedroom unusable so Laila has to sleep with him. You’re welcome.
Jo is back in Utah for the second half of her season and I know Bryson is going to need extra attention without his fiancée here.
"Why do you need to borrow my personal chef?" Felix asks as he sits to take off his skates. "You just texted us about the sale on dino nuggets at the price club."
I’m in the process of stripping off my team issued windbreaker pants. They swish like the pair Rhys picked out for me and I have a new fondness for the material. "That was a Public Service Announcement and you’re welcome. You better have a stash for me at your place."
"You have the eating habits of a child." Felix scolds. "So, tell me why you want to borrow Andre."
It isn’t a secret that Rhys is moving to D.C. The school he’s working with posted it on their social media all summer.
But, it is a secret that I know him.
Biblically know him.
So what am I supposed to say here? That a friend is going to be coming to my house a lot (I hope) and I want him to have the stuff he needs to cook for me?
I guess that’ll have to do.
"I want him to come over and tell me what kitchen tools I need."
"An air fryer and an instant pot." Bryson says as he takes off his skates, left first, always.
"And a blender." Aiden adds.
"Grandma Turner found the perfect spoonula." Emmett’s casual tone shows no hint of him being aware that he’s making up words.
"What the fuck is a spoonula?" I ask as I gather my contact solution and case. I hate wearing them but I do when I’m on the ice because rec specs are a hard pass.
"It’s a half spoon, half spatula. Like a spork but for stirring or spreading all at once." E.T. tells us.
"Could be useful." Felix tosses in with a shrug.
"Fine, if Andre comes over and tells me to get a spoonula I’ll be sure to ask G.T. which one."
"No need to call G.T., it’s this one." E.T. says as he types. Phones around the locker room buzz in tandem moments later.
Boba Tea is the first to swipe his open. "Oh, I’m totally getting the confetti one." His head bounces side-to-side as he mutters, "add to cart."
"The skinny one could be helpful with getting all the smoothie off the walls of the blender." Aiden observes. "I’m getting us the dark green one."
I click the link and wonder if I should just order one right now or if I should wait for Andre’s advice. And then I realize I haven’t gotten Felix on board yet.
"So, whatdya say Cap? Can Andre come over?"
Felix shakes his head but agrees. "Yes, fine."
He sends me Andre’s contact information and I send out a text asking for help to outfit my kitchen for someone who actually knows how to cook.
***
I have never felt more emasculated in my life.
Andre just tore me a new one.
He’s scary.
And intense.
It was no more than ten minutes of him opening and immediately closing every drawer and cabinet in my kitchen in silence before he looked at me with his bald head and icy blue eyes and said gruffly, "I’ll be in touch."
I just nodded with my eyes bugging out of my head and followed him to the elevator that opens directly into my condo.
Now I’m standing in my kitchen trying to process what just happened.
I still don’t know what the fuck I’m looking at but I know it’s inadequate.
My phone buzzes.
FRENCH FRY
Andre said it was worse than he’d expected.
Really? He didn’t say a word to me.
It takes him a while to warm up.
It was terrifying. My penis has never felt so small.
Does your penis have anything to do with this sudden interest in cooking?
Leave it to Felix to hit the nail on the head.
You got it. Captain Longnstrong wants to start cooking.
I see.
Andre can send you a list. Or he can pull everything at the store and have you pick it up.
That sounds easier. Have him do the shopping.
Budget?