Chapter 19
XANDER
Afterwards, wrapped in each other’s arms, my head snug against his chest, his heart going steadily thump, thump, thump under my ear, no longer racing, and the odor of sex in the air – semen and slick and sweat – I broke the peaceful silence that had fallen between us.
Without lifting my head, I asked, “When did you change your mind about me?”
I didn’t want to look him in the eyes right now, fearing some of the answers.
“What do you mean?”
I sighed. “Well, I was just a business transaction, wasn’t I? You were mating me to save the pack.”
Darius drew in a sharp breath, the hiss a tell-tale sound. A little part of me started to shrivel inside.
“Wait a minute.” Darius rose from the bed and went to the open door. I looked past him as he surveilled the corridor, but there was no movement in the dim walkway, and it seemed empty.
“No-one there,” he stated simply, the lock clicking as he secured our privacy. He climbed back onto the bed and pulled me into his arms again.
“The Council’s edict was the reason I started looking for an omega, yes,” he admitted, slowly, “but as soon as I saw your picture, I knew I wanted you . Even if it hadn’t been required by the Council, I would have wanted you anyway.
And…” Darius hesitated, then added, “I hoped you’d feel the same way when you saw the photo of me, but you didn’t and that… ”
I pushed myself up off him, and looking down at him, shook my head, “What photo? When we met in your office… that was the first time I knew what you looked like, or anything about you really. I didn’t even know your name.”
Darius pushed up onto one elbow. His brows formed a deep V. “I sent you a photo. And lots of information. So you could make an informed decision.”
I shook my head. “Never saw one. I never saw any of it,” my voice was low and sad. My memory of that fateful day was painful.
“Fuck.” He looked pensive. “I’m so sorry.
I swear I put together a whole lot of shit for you to look over, including a photo.
I wanted you to be sure about what you were doing.
Zendius even mailed it for me, rather than just sending it out with the pack mail, because he agreed it was important you get it.
He had your uncle’s address, so it made sense. I don’t know why you didn’t get it.”
“Uncle Maxim probably didn’t bother to pass it on.
He didn’t tell me anything about you at all.
It’s not like I had a choice about what was happening.
” It wouldn’t have been out of character at all, the more I thought about it.
“And anyway, he wouldn’t have thought an omega warranted that sort of consideration. ”
Darius scowled. “I can’t imagine how awful it must have been for you, coming to mate someone when you had no idea who they were.”
I shrugged. “Well, I was expecting someone my uncle’s age, so I was relieved when you weren’t ancient. Anyway, it was still better than being locked up in my uncle’s dungeon!”
Darius cocked his head, narrowing his eyes. I could tell he thought I was making a joke. I shook my head, slowly, willing him to understand I was serious.
“Did he do that to you?” he asked cautiously, brows furrowed.
“No. But he threatened to do it if I didn’t go along with the mating. I’m certain he would’ve too. The dungeon was all set up underground and it wasn’t new or anything. He showed it to me. It had definitely been used before.”
Darius whistled, a long slow pensive sound.
“Not much of a choice then. No wonder you hated coming here. What was it like living there? Did he mistreat you?”
I scowled. “World’s shittiest place to live.
The entire family are alphas. I think they felt it was beneath them to have a male omega in the house.
I used to lock myself in my room to stay away from them, which was the only way to be safe.
Facts - mating you was the only chance I had of getting out of there, so I would’ve agreed even if I’d had a choice.
I was planning on running away afterwards though,” I admitted sheepishly.
“I can’t blame you, now I know you had no choice in the matter. No wonder you weren’t interested in dating me.”
“What are you talking about?” I was genuinely puzzled.
“I thought it would be a good idea to get to know each other before you committed to the arrangement, but you refused my invitations.”
“Um... I would have loved to go on a date, although I might have been an asshole on it.” I winced, thinking of my behavior on the one date he’d taken me on, the night of our mating. “I didn’t know anything about this whole affair until I was basically told to pack and be ready to leave.”
“You didn’t get my invitations? You didn’t turn them down?”
I shook my head.
“You had no choice and you were kept in the dark. No wonder you hated me from the get-go,” murmured Darius quietly.
“I didn’t really. Well, maybe a little. I thought you were just another arrogant asshole of an alpha, and when you couldn’t even be bothered to meet me when I arrived…
You sent Zendius instead. Because I had no idea what you looked like, I thought he must have been the alpha I was to mate with, which made me feel stupid when he wasn’t.
And I felt even more stupid being the only one who dressed up for the occasion!
Like you didn’t think it was important, or something. ”
“I certainly would have – dressed up, that is - if I’d known you preferred that. But I thought you’d be more comfortable coming casual, that’s why I suggested it.”
“I was told to wear a fucking suit!”
“What?! No! I specifically said, ‘come casual’. I knew it might be confronting meeting an alpha you didn’t know in these circumstances, and I thought it would help you be more relaxed.”
“And for the record, I did not send Zendius to meet you. He must have just been in that part of the building at the time. The reason I wasn’t there was because you came half an hour early! I thought I had plenty of time to prepare myself before you arrived.”
We looked at each other. My brain buzzed, turning over all this new information.
If I could believe everything he was telling me, and knowing him as I did now, I felt I could safely do that, then I’d been a first-class a-hole.
I’d jumped to conclusions about him, without even giving him a chance.
Someone else had been trying to cause trouble.
My suspicions landed heavily on my asshole of an uncle.
I sighed.
“I’m sorry,” I said, laying my head back down on his chest, making him collapse back down on the bed. “I was such an asshole.”
“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” Darius murmured, his breath hot against my ear, one hand stroking my head. “You were in a bad situation and you didn’t know who you could trust. I’m the one who should be sorry. Our mating must have been a nightmare for you. I’m so sorry about that.”
“It wasn’t.”
“Wasn’t what?”
“A nightmare. I… I got angry at myself, because I didn’t want to like it…
but I did. Only I didn’t want to admit it, because then I might have had to admit you weren’t as bad as I thought you were…
I thought you were using me and if I liked you, I was gonna get hurt.
And the only way I could deal with all that was push you away.
And you know what? I’m just a little shit sometimes. ”
Darius’ lips quirked again, the inside of his lower lip showing, pink and moist and fascinating.
“You have… character,” he smiled. “You remind me a little of the mate of a friend of mine. He doesn’t have anywhere near as foul a mouth as you though, and he adores the hell out of his alpha, but I’m sure Talius has his hands full with him.
He’s a real handful. His other mate is much more compliant. ”
I sprung up, eyes wide. “Your friend has two mates?” I asked incredulously. My eyebrows had shot up and had to be almost clear jumping off my face.
“Well, yeah, but neither of them gives as much trouble as you. Here, come back,” Darius pulled me back down.
His strong arms wrapped around me, firmly but gently.
“You’re mine. I like you just the way you are, bad attitude and all.
Just give me a chance, okay? Try not to turn your foul temper on me. ”
There was just one thing left I needed to settle. Just because his friend had two mates didn’t mean I was okay with being one of two. I’d try to make the best of it but there had to be rules. I sucked in a breath, he might not like what I was about to say.
“I’ll be honest with you. I really don’t like sharing you with another omega, but I’ll suck it up.
I’m just asking that since I’m the Alpha Mate, that you put me first, and don’t make me feel like a third wheel.
” I pursed my lips together. Right, I’d put it out there. I steeled myself for his response.
“What are you talking about?” Darius screwed his face up, looking confused. “Why would I need two omegas?”
“You don’t need to pretend anymore,” I tried to keep my voice steady. This was hard enough without him lying to me. “I know about your lover. I’ve known from the start.”
“What the fuck?” Darius sat upright.
“Dayla. The blonde omega that runs the omega house. I… I know about her. I saw the two of you together. I saw her hugging you,” I added hastily, not wanting to give away Zendius’ confidence.
“Dayla? My sister?”
“Your… your what?” my sentence finished in a very unmanly squeak, and I cleared my throat. Relief flooded through me in a wave and I felt the tension leave my body.
“She’s my sister. Not my lover.”
“Oh,” I was almost speechless. Then because I was a dumbass and I was in shock, I said the dumbest thing, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, of course, I’m sure. That’s my sister. She’s a total pain in the ass, but I do have a lot of love for her. She’s been supporting me here for a long time, and she’s really glad you’ve turned up so she can step back from that.”
He paused, cocked his head, brows drawing together.
“Why would you think…?”
“Uh. I, er, I just misunderstood. You guys seemed real close.”
“I would have introduced you to her properly but you always seemed to be trying to get away from me.”
“Yeah, sorry. I was a dick.”
“I never could understand why you were so hot and cold with me. I get it now, if you thought I was already with someone,” Darius said, lying back and pulling me down on top of him.
He felt warm and solid beneath me. For the first time in my recollection, I felt I had a solid base beneath me.
Then he continued, a half-smile quirking up the corner of his mouth, and his tone playful, “but do you think you can maybe give me the benefit of the doubt in future? Just talk to me. I don’t think I could take a lot more of your bad moods. ”
“I’ll try.” Then I twisted my head so I could glare at him. “No promises though. If you annoy me…”
Darius chuckled, his large hands caressing up and down my back. It would have been soothing except for the hard callouses scratching my softer skin and occasionally tugging the hairs.
“Ouch!” I wriggled as another hair snagged.
My instinctive reaction was to protest. But I realized I needed to try and put a cap on my reactions.
My mate’s hands were hard and calloused because of all the hard work he did around the pack.
Unlike a lot of alphas, he wasn’t afraid to get in and do the hard work himself.
When I looked at it that way, the callouses weren’t so bad.
They were a symbol. I was proud that my mate was such a good pack leader. I felt my cock stir again. Damn!
“Are we done talking now?” I whined. I wanted to get back to the good part of having a mate.
“Mmm. Is there something you want, Xander?” Darius’ words feathered across my ear, as his hands slipped lower.
“I want to spend the rest of the day in this room. With you.” I fake pouted. “I know it’s my own fault that I’ve missed out on time with my mate, but I want to make up for it now.”
“Mmm, well I’m sure the pack can do without me for a day.”