Chapter 5
January was always the hardest month for Spence.
Not because of the work — Spence had managed the flock through worse.
Not because of the cold — werewolves barely feel temperatures that would kill humans in minutes.
Not even because of the darkness, though the endless night wore on every daywalker.
It was his job to act as chief therapist and problem solver, which he took great pride in.
The uber-powerful and crazy-rich vampires were used to the decadence of this crazy playground made just for them, and they got up to all kinds of mischief in this final stretch.
But Zander could handle whatever they came up with, and he could do it with finesse.
January was hard because it was the last month. The finish line was visible, sunshine and normalcy tantalizingly close, and every day felt like crawling through thick mud to reach it.
But this year, having Emmy in their suite and in his bed, made everything sweeter.
Spence watched her from the doorway, hunched over her laptop with noise-canceling headphones firmly in place, completely absorbed in whatever genetic sequence she was analyzing.
Her coffee had long since gone cold, and she’d been in that exact position since he’d brought her last snack at around ten.
It was now ten past noon.
He crossed the room silently, set a large glass of lemonade down along with a plate with a roast beef sandwich, apple slices, and cheese cubes — all things she could eat one-handed without looking — and waited.
She didn’t notice, so he pushed it a little closer. Usually, she just starts eating, but today she turned and pulled her headphones off.
“Spence! Thank you!” She took a long swig of the lemonade and said, “I don’t say it enough. Thank you for bringing me snacks.”
He gestured to the plate. “You’re welcome. Now eat, please. Doctor’s orders.”
“You’re not a doctor.”
“No, but submissive’s orders is just wrong.” He leaned down for a quick kiss. “How’s it going?”
Emmy’s face lit up, and she pointed to the monitor above her laptop’s monitor — a screen full of data that may as well have been Greek.
“Look at this cluster here, see how the mitochondrial markers align with the hybrid viability indicators? I was right about the timing hypothesis. If I can just—” She broke off, grabbed the sandwich and took a huge bite. “Sorry. I get excited.”
“I know.” He perched on the edge of her desk, watching her eat while she explained her breakthrough in between bites. He understood maybe half of what she explained, but he had the gist of it, and her enthusiasm was infectious.
This was his favorite role in the triangle — not the intellectual equal, not the strategic mind, but the one who made sure they ate, slept, and took care of their bodies while their brilliant minds raced ahead. The foundation. The anchor.
He was good at it.
“You’ll need to take a break before tonight’s frenzy,” he reminded her when she’d finished the sandwich. “Maybe a workout? Rhea was asking about you this morning.”
Emmy sighed but nodded. “Yeah, okay. I should move my body before vampires move it for me.”
She looked at the monitor and back to him. “Maybe two and a half hours? Can you let Rhea, Felix, and Toby know I’m going to hit the workout room around three?”
“Yes, I can absolutely do that. I’ll bring you a snack around two.”
He set a reminder once he was out in the hallway, so he’d remember her snack, and then texted Toby and Rhea, and then considered the best way to deal with Felix, who’d gone to Vex’s room after the feeding frenzy the night before, and hadn’t been seen today.
He went up two floors and knocked on Vex’s door. When the vampire answered, Spence told him, “Some of Felix’s friends are planning to work out at three, before they head up to eat.”
“Ah, yes.” Vex smiled. “My bunny is a little tied up at the moment, but a workout with his friends will do him good. Thank you for telling me, but I’m curious as to why you have.”
“Because he wants to spend all the time he can with you this month, before the two of you are separated for possibly as long as a year, and you are correct that he needs some time with his friends.”
Vex nodded. “Yes, I see. Thank you, Spence.”
“You’re welcome, and I believe you and Felix are good for each other, for what it’s worth. I’ll leave you to your fun.”
He checked in with the set designers in the theater, with the vampires and daywalkers in the ballroom watching a big football game projected onto a huge screen that rolled into the ceiling when not in use, and then went to his office to look over the pictures of the slaves on offer for the last hunt of the year, still two weeks out.
This one would be shifters in human form wearing solid black clothing, so he had a bigger selection.
He narrowed it down to forty, all men who’d lived most of their lives in rural areas, so they should know how to travel through the wilderness as humans.
He didn’t know if Zander would want eighteen or twenty-four, but he figured it would be more than a dozen for the final hunt, and he’d want to choose, but not from a list of over one hundred.
While in his office, he stood and edged himself two more times, careful to hold his hips perfectly still.
It was frustrating as fuck, but he managed it.
During the first time, he’d pushed his ass into a wall to hold his hips still, but he managed it toward the end of the second time without having to resort to that.
Progress . When he finished, he focused on forcing his cock to go soft, and then he went to the cafeteria for Emmy’s snack, took it to her, and climbed all the way to the top of the silo to provide aftercare to a level three after two hours in the Lupanar with a sadistic bitch of a vampire.
He got the owl shifter back into his room, fed him a mouse while he was changed , and then sent him up to the cafeteria once he was back in human form.
And then went to pull Emmy from her studies so she could go work out.
She was working without her headphones, and he could see her saving her work while he walked to her desk, so he didn’t say anything. Thirty seconds later, she stood and stretched, her spine popping audibly. Spence winced in sympathy.
“How many more days?” she asked, and something in her voice made him look closer.
“Twenty-six days.” He’d been counting.
“Twenty-six days,” she repeated, and he couldn’t quite read her expression. Anticipation? Anxiety? Both?
Before he could ask, she headed for the bedroom. “I’m wearing leggings today, not sweats. Is Rhea coming?”
“Yes, and Felix. Toby’s at the outpost.”
And his mind was spinning. Twenty-six days until they returned to Anchorage, to real life, to a world where their triangle would be tested by normalcy instead of isolation.
Spence had lived in Anchorage for years. He’d worked with Mattie to decorate Zander’s suite in the coterie house, as well as the common rooms. It was his true home now, comfortable in ways the silo could never be … but how would things be with Emmy?
What if everything was different? The silo was intense, compressed, a bubble where the three of them had no choice but to focus entirely on each other a good portion of the day.
But Anchorage would have Emmy leaving for school in the mornings, and Zander traveling to the businesses he owned at night.
Three lives, going three different directions, and on different sleep schedules.
Zander had a territory to manage, businesses to run, and duties that extended far beyond the coterie walls. Spence was both Zander’s main business assistant and in charge of the flock. And Emmy had her research, plus a whole life that existed before she’d come to Alaska.
Would there be room for the triangle in all of that?
And what would happen once Emmy graduated? Would she even want to stay in Alaska?
Would the intimacy survive when they weren’t living in this tiny little microcosm?
The fear sat cold in his stomach, and he carefully changed his thoughts to something happier, so she wouldn’t scent his anxiety when she returned.
Because if she asked him what was bothering him, he’d be obligated to tell her, and no way did he want to voice his worries.
His worries, not hers. Though, through therapy, he’d learned all about the small, scared part of himself that had been a slave for so long, he’d once believed he didn’t deserve love and happiness.
But that wasn’t what this was about. He was past that.
He was pretty sure.
But what if Anchorage proved it had all been temporary? What if sunshine broke the spell?
Stop, he told himself firmly. This is just January talking. Everyone gets melancholy in January.
He focused on his work instead and thumbed his phone awake. He looked over the whiteboard checklist to see how the feeding frenzy prep was going, and responded to a dozen small requests from flock members who needed something only he or Zander could authorize.
The routine was soothing. Familiar. He was good at this job, had been doing it for years, and the competence settled his nerves.
And then Zander’s voice sounded in his head, soothing and loving.
Come to my office when you have a moment, please. Not urgent.
Of course, Sir.
Emmy came out in leggings and a sports bra, her hair in a ponytail, and a huge smile on her face.
“Are you working out with us?”
He shook his head. “Not today. Just thought I’d walk you up the steps before I keep going to the top.”
The two talked companionably while they climbed the spiral staircase, and then kissed goodbye on the flock’s common floor.
When he reached the top floor, Zander was at his desk, a pen in his hand, looking at the computer screen.
“Oh, good,” Zander said. “Let me just jot down a few notes. Have a seat. When did you eat last?”
“When I took Emmy her snack an hour ago, I ate a few burgers in the cafeteria while I waited for them to put it together. I’m looking forward to the reindeer chili for dinner. It smelled amazing.”