Chapter 23
Three days later, Emmy stood in the flock gym watching Rhea demolish a heavy bag with precise, brutal kicks. The eagle shifter’s dark hair was pulled into a severe ponytail, sweat gleaming as she pivoted and struck again.
Felix lounged on a weight bench nearby, supposedly stretching, but mostly providing commentary. “Okay, but you’re glowing,” he said, eyeing Emmy with exaggerated suspicion. “Like, genuinely glowing. What are they feeding you? I mean, besides the obvious.”
Emmy laughed, and before she could answer, Rhea said, “She’s getting well-fucked on the regular.”
Her friend didn’t break rhythm, her kicks hitting the bag in quick succession while she talked.
“It’s more than that, though.” Felix sat up, genuinely curious now rather than teasing. “You’re … settled. Content. I’ve never seen you this content.”
Emmy grabbed a jump rope, needing something to do with her hands. “Is that so weird?”
“For you?” Rhea caught the bag, stilling its swing, and turned to face Emmy fully. “Yeah, actually. You’ve always been restless. Chaotic. Now you’re—” She gestured vaguely. “Domestic.”
“I am not domestic,” Emmy protested, but even as she said it, she realized they might be right.
Felix grinned. “You’re living with two men, plus getting fucked by random vampires during the feeding frenzies each night, working on your thesis like a responsible grad student, and when’s the last time you did something crazy? That’s domestic as fuck for you.”
“I mean, she hasn’t stolen a vehicle or been kicked out of a college since she landed in Alaska,” Rhea said. “But this is like, a step up from her previous mostly-good behavior.”
Emmy opened her mouth to argue, then closed it. They weren’t wrong.
She moved the rope faster, the rhythmic slap of it on the floor filling the silence.
“I’m happy,” she admitted finally, quietly. “This wasn’t in my plans, falling in love so young, but I’m not going to turn my back on it.”
Rhea’s expression softened. She crossed to Emmy, waiting until she stopped jumping to pull her into a quick, fierce hug. “Of course you aren’t. Happiness is good, and we’re happy for you. You deserve to be happy.”
“Even if it means you’re boring now,” Felix added, then fake-yelped when Rhea spun and threw a kick at him that landed millimeters from his shoulder.
They worked out in companionable silence for a while — Emmy and Felix spotting each other with weights while Rhea rotated through various martial arts forms. By the time they hit the sauna afterward, Emmy’s muscles sang with that pleasant post-workout ache.
The heat enveloped them as they settled onto the wooden benches. For several minutes, no one spoke, just breathed in the steam and let sweat pour.
“So,” Rhea said eventually, voice casual in that way that meant she’d been thinking about how to phrase something. “Il Trovatore was … intense.”
Emmy’s skin flushed hotter, and not from the sauna temperature. “Yeah.”
“You and Zander put on quite a show.” Rhea’s tone was carefully neutral. “The chase through the woods, the takedown, the—”
“Faux rape,” Emmy supplied, deciding to just own it. “Yeah. That’s apparently something I’m into.”
Felix made an interested sound. “The exhibitionism or the rape fantasy?”
“Both?” Emmy leaned back against the hot wood, closing her eyes.
“I didn’t know I liked it until the feeding frenzies, and I told Zander it’s a new discovery.
So, of course, he took it and ran with it.
And yeah, having all those people watching while Zander—” She broke off, swallowing. “It worked for me. Really worked.”
“Good for you,” Rhea said simply. “Consensual non-consent with an audience. That’s some advanced-level kink.”
“Says the woman who requested the harpy scene where she was ‘captured’ by hunters,” Felix pointed out.
Rhea shrugged unapologetically. “What can I say? I like a good predator-prey dynamic. The point is, Emmy’s exploring what she likes. That’s healthy.”
Emmy opened one eye to look at Felix, who’d been uncharacteristically quiet. “You okay? You’re usually more obnoxious about my sex life.”
He smiled, but it was distant, preoccupied. “Just thinking about three nights from now.”
Emmy went through the schedule in her mind, and carefully asked, “The Inquisition?”
“Yeah.” Felix’s hand drifted to his jaw, touching it as if checking that all his teeth were still there. “Master Vexare wants to do the full historical treatment. Teeth pulled, at least one finger removed, branding, the works.”
Rhea sat up straighter. “Felix, that’s—”
“I agreed to it,” he said quickly. “I want to do it. It’s just …
I mean, it won’t be the first time he’ll have done something I genuinely can’t sexualize, but it’s going to be a whole lot in a short time.
I mean, I figure I’ll have a hard-on because he’ll make sure of it with his venom, but even so…
” He shuddered. “I’m going to hate it while it’s happening. ”
“Then why?” Emmy asked, genuinely curious. No amount of money in the world would make her agree to that.
Felix met her gaze, and his eyes were clear, certain. “Because I trust him. Because he needs to take me that far and have me still choose him after. And because…” He looked down at his hands. “Because I love him, and love means trusting someone with the parts of you that are scared.”
The sauna fell silent except for the hiss of steam.
“Also, if I wasn’t under twenty-four/seven restrictions about not masturbating to get myself off, I’d be doing so hourly at the thoughts of the scene, so part of me, at least, is looking forward to it.”
“Fuck,” Rhea said. “You’re in deep.”
Emmy’s eyebrows rose. “You agreed to rules outside of scenes? Mr. ‘I do what I want’?”
“Apparently love makes you do crazy shit.” But his voice was fond, not bitter. “Or maybe it just makes you willing to make changes for the right person.”
Emmy thought about Spence’s confession in the Lupanar, about his fear that he couldn’t trust his own desires. About how Zander had immediately blocked his power when asked, no hesitation. About how she’d broken him open and he’d trusted her to put him back together.
“Yeah,” she said softly. “I get that.”
They sat in the heat a while longer, comfortable in their shared understanding, before heading to the showers and then the cafeteria for lunch.
That evening, Emmy sat cross-legged on the bed with her phone, staring at the contact labeled Aunt Kirsten for a good thirty seconds before finally texting her. “I’d like to get some advice, when you have time to talk.”
“Absolutely. Let me get to my room so we can talk without anyone overhearing. I’ll call you in a few minutes.”
Less than five minutes later, her phone rang, and a slightly concerned, warm voice asked, “Are you okay? What’s up?”
“I’m fine, I just need some advice,” Emmy said without preamble. “About Zander. And telepathy. And … trust.”
A pause. Then, “Ah. And you’ve heard the gossip about why I broke up with him.
I’ll help you as much as I can, but it’s been decades, and from what I understand, he learned a lot from dating someone he couldn’t manipulate, and he hasn’t tried it with Spence.
But again, we aren’t close anymore, so a lot of that is gossip. ”
“Yeah, but gossip from Kendra, which is probably dead on.”
“Actually, Kendra won’t talk bad about him, so maybe, maybe not. However, what I get from Lauren, that she gets from Gavin, I trust more. Tell me what’s got you needing advice, and we’ll see if I can help.”
“He wants—well, I want—” Emmy took a breath, started over.
“Spence and Zander have a telepathic bond. And I know they have more, but for now, I’m just considering the telepathy, not the bigger bonding thing.
” She blew out a breath. “But baby steps, right? But I have to let him past my shields to initiate a path into my head for telepathy, and my mom has taught me all my life to never lower my shields, especially not for a powerful vampire.”
“And that advice would be completely appropriate if you hadn’t gone and fallen in love with a vampire.”
Emmy laughed. “Right. I figured you’d be up on the gossip.”
“Not gossip, just a mom talking to her friend. Your mom taught you the same thing she taught me — the shield around my mind is the most important strength to hold around ancient badasses.” Kirsten’s voice took on a considering quality. “Your mother is wise. And right, in most circumstances.”
“Right, but you dated Zander, and you broke up with him because he lied to you, but later, you found out he fucked with your head. I remember that night at Nathan’s house, and mom swept me and my siblings off to Faerie so we’d be safe, but I know Zander made some kind of back door into your mind while ya’ll were dating, and that set up a path so another evil vampire could get in. ”
“Not exactly, but close enough, I suppose.” A long exhale.
“Okay. This is going to be third-hand information, so take it with appropriate skepticism. It came from Gavin to Lauren to me, which means it’s probably been twisted a little.
Normally I wouldn’t repeat something like this, and I’ll ask you not to continue it, but I think there’s enough truth in it that maybe it’ll help you decide. ”
“Thank you. I’m listening.”
“Gavin was apparently truly disgusted with how things worked out when Abbott, now Zander, was figuring things out with Spence. Abbott gave him all the latitude he could at the time, when Spence couldn’t control his wolf, so Abbott had to.
Legally, Spence had to remain a slave since he didn’t have control, but Abbott gave him some of his power, and did everything he could to give him free will.
Gavin questioned it, many times, and Abbott explained that he’d learned from me that he’d grown far too comfortable controlling everyone around him.
If he ever wanted a true partner, he’d have to stop doing that.
He’d have to let them be themselves, even when it would be easier to … adjust their thinking.”
Emmy’s throat tightened.
“Gavin, at the time, thought I’d completely fucked his boss up, which I guess is one of the reasons he was so cruel to me when he …
but that’s ancient history. Mostly.” Kirsten’s voice warmed with dry humor.
“Anyway, then Gavin fell in love, and he suddenly understood. He has a new respect for how Zander treats his relationship with Spence — how he gave him power so they could be closer to equals.”
“So you think I can trust him?” Emmy asked.
“I can’t make that decision for you.” Kirsten’s voice was firm but kind.
“It went horribly wrong when I trusted him. Undoing what he did in my head fucking hurt, the rebound was excruciating. But he supposedly learned from that. Healthy relationships require trust, and if you don’t trust him, this is probably a short-term thing, and that’s fine, but it means he doesn’t get into your head.
If you want this to be long-term, if you believe it’s the kind of love that will last decades, I think you have to decide whether to — it’s crude, but the Southern saying is to decide whether to shit or get off the pot. ”
Emmy snorted despite herself.
“Love requires trust,” Kirsten continued, “but that doesn’t mean you have to do everything at once.
You can start with telepathy and work up to the big stuff.
” She paused. “I didn’t want Lauren bonding to Gavin, but it’s worked out.
The two are super-close, and I sleep in their home, which is nothing short of a miracle — me trusting my once-arch-enemy while I’m out and he’s awake.
I think the question you have to ask yourself is whether you truly trust him to be your go-to person for the rest of your life.
Whether you want to bond yourself to these two.
No one can make that decision for you. It’s a leap, but you’re smart, and you know how to weigh the options. ”
Emmy closed her eyes, letting the words sink in. “Also,” she said quietly, “if he hurts me, my dad will probably kill him.”
Kirsten’s laugh was sharp and genuine. “Oh yes. There’s that as well.”
They talked a while longer — about Lauren, about the strange peace Kirsten had found with her former enemy, about Emmy’s thesis work. When they finally hung up, Emmy sat with her phone in her lap, thinking.
Love requires trust.
You can start with telepathy and work up to the big stuff.
Decide whether you want to bond yourself to these two.
She thought about Spence’s face when Zander had blocked his power without question.
About how Zander had orchestrated the Lupanar scene to give her exactly what she needed to claim her role.
About how Zander treated her — not like she was something to control, but like a partner. An equal. A strong, intelligent woman.
She thought about Felix saying love means trusting someone with the parts of you that are scared.
Her shields were perfect. Impenetrable. Her mother’s masterwork.
But maybe perfection wasn’t what she needed anymore. Maybe she needed to be brave enough to let them in.
The thought settled in her chest, warm and terrifying at the same time.