18. Ashlyn
18
ASHLYN
T he sun was low in the sky, casting a golden hue over the sprawling fields. I rode Phantom along familiar trails. With each rhythmic beat of his hooves, I felt a sense of calm wash over me, as if the world around us had faded away. It was just me and him, a powerful partnership that had developed into something magical over the past few weeks. He moved effortlessly beneath me, his strong muscles working in perfect harmony as we navigated the winding paths of the ranch.
I couldn’t help but smile at how far we’d come together. Phantom had transformed from a spirited, somewhat unruly horse into a confident competitor. He was no longer just a beautiful creature; he
was my teammate, my equal in a way I had never anticipated. As we cantered through the fields, I felt a connection with him that transcended words—a bond built on trust and understanding. I could
sense his energy, his excitement, as he galloped forward, eager to explore every inch of the land we called home.
But even in the midst of this blissful ride, my thoughts drifted back to Stephanie and the financial strain she was facing. I knew she was worried about the ranch and the costs of running it. About how the future looked uncertain.
I could help her. I had the means to do so in a heartbeat. I had a considerable amount, money that was meant to provide me with a fresh start—a new life away from the chaos of my past.
But the thought of sharing that wealth with Stephanie brought up a torrent of conflicting emotions.
What would she think if I offered her money? Would she feel embarrassed, or worse, indebted? I couldn’t bear the thought of Stephanie looking at me differently. Questioning where the money came from, or why I had it in the first place. There was still a part of me that worried about being discovered. My past life and the secrets I had buried so deep threatened to resurface. The last thing I wanted was to taint what we were building together with my past mistakes.
“Easy there, big guy,” I murmured to Phantom, feeling his eagerness beneath me. He pranced forward, clearly picking up on my tension. I gently squeezed my legs, urging him to slow down. He complied, settling into a steady trot as I took a deep breath, trying to shake off my worries.
The crisp air filled my lungs and I focused on the rhythm of his movement, allowing the connection between us to ground me. I remembered the way Phantom had raced around the track, fueled by adrenaline and the thrill of competition. It was during those moments that I realized how much I loved riding him. How much I loved being in control, while letting him shine.
“Let’s show them what we’re made of,” I whispered, patting his neck affectionately. Phantom tossed his head, as if in agreement, and I felt a rush of excitement pulse through me. We had a race coming up soon. While the thought of competition thrilled me, it also made my heart race for entirely different reasons. Would Phantom be ready? Would we be able to stand out from the other competitors?
But then I thought of Stephanie’s face, and remembered how proud she had looked after Phantom’s first race. She had believed in us when we needed it most, and I wanted to return that faith. I could still see Stephanie standing at the edge of the track, her eyes alight with joy as she cheered us on. I wanted to make her proud, not just as a rider, but as someone who could take care of her own.
We went around a bend in the trail and I leaned down to whisper sweet nothings to Phantom. “We’ll figure it out. I promise.” He snorted softly and I felt warmth radiating from his body, a reminder that we were in this together.
But the reality of Stephanie’s situation still loomed over me like a dark cloud. What if she refused my financial help, even if I offered? What if my wealth only complicated things further? She had always been fiercely independent, a trait I admired, but I could see the cracks beginning to form under the pressure. The last thing I wanted was to push her away by offering too much too soon.
And aside from that, although in some ways we were closer than ever, I was keeping secrets and I knew she was holding something back, too.
We approached a small rise in the landscape and I felt Phantom’s muscles tense beneath me, his instincts kicking in as he sensed the change in terrain. I urged him forward, feeling the thrill of adrenaline rush through us as we leapt over the crest. The world spread out before us, a sprawling panorama of green fields and distant hills. For a moment, I forgot my worries. In that instant, I
felt invincible, as if nothing could touch us.
But as we descended and returned to the gentle slope, my doubts returned. I wanted to be open with Stephanie, to share everything with her. I wanted to tell her that I could help, that I could ease some of her burdens. But I hesitated, unsure how to approach the topic. I didn’t want to bring it up too soon or make her feel uncomfortable. I wanted Stephanie to know that I cared, but I also wanted her to stand on her own two feet.
Maybe I’ll just wait a little longer , I thought, feeling a twinge of guilt. She’ll ask if she needs it. She always has . But I couldn’t shake the feeling that if I didn’t say something soon, this might become a
barrier between us—a wall built from unspoken words and hidden truths.
With a sigh, I nudged Phantom into a gallop, the wind whipping through my hair. And I let go of my worries, if only for a moment. The horse responded eagerly, charging ahead, and I focused on the rhythm of his movements, the beat of his heart matching my own. In that beautiful moment, I knew we were unstoppable together. I could only hope that our bond could withstand the pressures of
our current reality.
I led Phantom into the barn, the familiar scent of hay and leather wrapping around me like a warm embrace. The soft nickers of the other horses soothed me as I carefully unfastened his saddle, the day’s adrenaline still buzzing through my veins. I felt a rush of satisfaction at how well Phantom been today, but my exhilaration was tempered by an underlying tension that had started to gnaw at my insides.
Just as I finished brushing down Phantom, I heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching. I turned, my heart fluttering as I saw Stephanie step into the dim light of the barn.
Her face was alight with excitement and her eyes were sparkling as she rushed towards me.
“Ashlyn!” she exclaimed, her voice ringing with enthusiasm. “You won’t believe what I just talked about with Bill! He thinks Phantom has real potential. If you win the state race in two weeks, we can secure everything! He’s confident we can make it work!”
My stomach dropped as her words sank in. The weight of her expectations felt heavy. I forced a smile, but inside, my mind was racing. Winning that race was not just a challenge; it was a direct violation of the agreement I had signed.
“Stephanie, I—” I started, but she didn’t seem to notice the hesitation in my voice.
“I mean it, Ashlyn! You were incredible, and I just know you can rise to the occasion again! I have complete faith in you. We can turn this around!” Her excitement was infectious, yet I felt a dark cloud forming over my heart.
“Stephanie, wait,” I said, trying to keep my tone steady. “You don’t understand. Competing in that race . . . it’s complicated.”
She stopped, her brow furrowing as she searched my face for answers. “What do you mean? You have to see this as a chance! We can save the ranch!”
“I know that, but . . . ” My voice faltered, the words I needed to say catching in my throat. “I can’t just enter any race. There are consequences. They’re?—”
“Consequences?” she interrupted, her voice rising slightly, frustration creeping into her tone.
“Ashlyn, this is our chance! We can’t just throw it away because of some old doubt. You’re incredible on that horse, and you know it! You can’t let anything hold you back!”
“Don’t you see?” I snapped, anger bubbling up inside me. “It’s not that simple!”
Her expression shifted from excitement to confusion, and I felt the hurt in her eyes as Stephanie took a step back, the reality of my words sinking in. “I thought you wanted to help us,” she said quietly,
disappointment lacing her tone.
“I do want to help you! I want to save the ranch! But not like this,” I replied, my voice softer now, anger giving way to fear. “If I race and something goes wrong, I could lose everything. You could lose everything.” Silence hung between us, thick and heavy. I could see the gears turning in Stephanie’s head as she processed what I was saying.
“But we’ve come so far, Ashlyn! I believed in you. I thought we were in this together,” she said, her voice trembling slightly. “You’re so talented, and I thought we could face this together.”
“We can, but not like this,” I insisted, my heart aching.
Her eyes narrowed, hurt etched on her face. “So what? You’re just going to walk away? You’re going to throw in the towel because you’re scared?”
“No! I’m trying to protect us! I want to be here for you and for Phantom.”
“Then what do you want me to do?” she asked, her voice breaking slightly. “Just give up? Let everything fall apart because you’re afraid?”
I took a deep breath, feeling the anger dissipate, leaving only vulnerability in its wake. “I want you to understand where I’m coming from. I want you to trust that I’m trying to do what’s best for
both of us. I thought we were building something real together, but if this is what it’s going to
take . . .”
“It’s not just a race, Ashlyn! It’s our future! Can’t you see that?” Her voice was louder now, her
frustration boiling over. “I can’t believe you’re willing to just let it go!”
I could feel my own frustration creeping back, a battle of emotions raging within me. “I’m not letting it go! I’m trying to figure out how to move forward without jeopardizing everything!”
“Then help me understand! Talk to me!” she pleaded, her eyes searching mine for a connection, an answer.
I stood there, feeling the turmoil churning inside me. I had never been one to shy away from a challenge, yet this felt different. It felt dangerous. But the alternative—losing Stephanie, losing everything we had built together—was far worse. I took a deep breath, my heart racing as I realized what I had to do.
“Okay,” I said, my voice steadier than I felt. “I’ll do it. I’ll race at the state event.”
The relief that flooded her features was immediate, and I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt.
“Really? You’ll do it?” she asked, her eyes lighting up with hope. “I knew you could! You were amazing out there, and we’ll prepare just like we did for the local derby.”
“Yeah, I just . . . I was nervous,” I added, trying to deflect her enthusiasm away from the truth. I didn’t want to admit that my nerves were rooted in my fear of being discovered. Fear of my past crashing into my present like a runaway train.
“Nervous? You? That’s hard to believe,” she teased, a smile creeping onto her face. “I mean, you practically made Phantom fly!”
I chuckled softly, appreciating her attempt to lighten the mood. “Well, maybe it was more about getting the hang of riding him. He’s got some serious speed.”
“Exactly! And together, you two are unstoppable,” she said, her voice bubbling with excitement. But even as she spoke, I noticed the flicker of doubt behind her eyes, as if she sensed I wasn’t being entirely truthful. I steeled myself against it, knowing that I had to keep my past hidden.
“Listen, we have two weeks to get him in top shape,” she continued, the determination in her voice palpable. “We’ll do everything we can to make sure he’s ready for the race. I’ll help however I can—training, feeding, whatever it takes.”
“Thanks, Stephanie. I appreciate that.” My fingers brushed against hers, a fleeting moment of connection that sent warmth through me, although the undercurrent of tension remained. “We’ll figure it
out together.”
The conversation shifted back to training schedules and strategies, and as we discussed everything from workouts to nutrition for Phantom, I could feel my anxiety starting to ebb away, replaced by a sense of purpose. But in the back of my mind, the nagging thought of the contract loomed large. I couldn’t let Stephanie see how afraid I really was. I had to protect her, even if it meant putting myself in a risky position.
“Okay, so what’s the plan for the next few days?” I asked, trying to refocus. “We need to get Phantom acclimated to race day conditions. Maybe we should get him used to the noise and crowds.”
“Absolutely! We can take him to the local fair next weekend. They’ll have music, people, and everything. It’ll be perfect practice.” She grinned, her enthusiasm infectious, and I couldn’t help but smile back, even as the situation seemed heavier on my shoulders.
As we continued talking, planning every detail for Phantom’s training, I felt a shift in our dynamic. It wasn’t just about the race anymore. It was about our future together. I wanted to keep Stephanie safe and I wanted to be there for her. But I couldn’t shake my anxiety that this all hinged on me. If I failed, it wouldn’t just be my loss—it would be hers too.
“Are you sure you’re okay, Ashlyn?” she asked again, her eyes searching mine, and I felt a pang of guilt about the way I was deflecting her concern.
“I’m fine, really,” I assured her, though the words felt hollow in my throat. “Just trying to take it all in. This is a big deal.”
Stephanie studied me a moment longer and I could feel her instincts kicking in. I knew she was smart and I hated the idea of lying to her. “Okay, but if you ever want to talk, I’m here,” she said softly, her voice full of sincerity. I nodded, grateful for her support, but I also felt the chasm grow wider between us. How could I ever explain my past without risking everything? I couldn’t let her know about the agreement I’d made—the one that had kept me shackled to my old life.
“I’ll be ready,” I finally said, forcing a confident smile. “We’ll make this happen.”
With that, I reached out and took Stephanie’s hand in mine, intertwining our fingers. For a moment, it felt like everything would be okay. But beneath the surface, the storm raged on, and I knew that in two weeks, everything would come to a head.
We left the barn as the sun dipped low on the horizon I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the challenges ahead. I would race in the state competition—not just for Phantom and the ranch, but also for Stephanie. She believed in me and I had to find a way to make her dreams a reality, even if it meant confronting my own demons along the way.