Chapter 12 #5
The other woman shrugged. “It’s some kind of chemical thing, but it’s also something more.
It’s hard to explain. Some species, like sedhi and azhera, have these strong mate-driven instincts that recognize that certain someone and push them toward that person.
Me and Arcanthus think it might’ve been partly because of the mutative compound the Consortium gives to people when they come here.
Even people who are smuggled in illegally usually get it, because it’s basically required to survive in this place.
It changes us. Terrans, anyway. Not who we are, but our bodies.
Makes us more adaptable to pretty much everything. ”
“Yeah, I know a little about that stuff. They gave it to me, too,” Shay said. “They said it allows humans to get knocked up by aliens.”
Murgen had droned on and on about how he couldn’t wait to breed her after she’d given birth.
“Yeah. It does,” Samantha said.
“What does it mean to be someone’s mate?”
“Truthfully? Everything.” Sam reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear.
“I know that’s not really helpful, but it’s like…
there just aren’t adequate words, I guess.
It’s attraction and…lust, but its friendship and affection, it’s love…
and it’s so much more. Not that it’s all those things right away, of course.
But it became all those things for Arc and me. ”
“Can they sniff out more than one mate?” Shay asked.
Sam laughed, shaking her head. “I mean, I can’t speak for every species, but… I don’t think so. Arcanthus knew I was his before we even met. He just…saw my profile in the ID system and knew. And he lost interest in everyone else from that moment.”
Shay pulled back and furrowed her brow. “Are you saying you’re like…soul mates?”
“I guess that’s what we are, isn’t it? I know it sounds crazy but… Look at me. Do you really think someone like him would have picked me out in the crowd?”
Shay frowned. “Why wouldn’t he? You’re a beautiful, badass woman.”
Sam’s cheeks flushed. “Thank you. But I mean, he was so”—she threw her hands up and swept her arms out—“big. I mean his personality. He’s so confident and smooth and so, so sexy, and when we met, I was just…
me. Quiet, shy, timid. I couldn’t compare.
So if it wasn’t instinct, if it wasn’t this magical, wonderful thing that led him to me…
What could it really have been other than fate? ”
It was bizarre to have a stranger open up like this, to confide in Shay so soon, but in a way, it also felt good. Shay lifted her hand, hesitated, and placed it on Samantha’s arm. They both came to a stop. “You were definitely selling yourself short.”
Samantha laughed. “You’re incredibly nice.”
Shay arched a brow. “You don’t know me very well. We’ll see if you still think that by the end of the week.”
Sam’s smile only grew. “I guess we will see. But yeah, I was selling myself short. I came to Arthos to get out of an abusive relationship. Whatever confidence I had before that asshole, I had nothing left by the time I finally built the nerve to run. There’s no way I would’ve ever brought myself to approach Arc back then.
I didn’t believe a man like him could even see a woman like me.
He pushed me to believe in myself…by believing in me when I didn’t.
Everyone here did. Drakkal, too, even though he was leery of me at first.”
Shay frowned. “Of you?”
Samantha’s smile widened into a full-fledged grin. “He thought I was a dangerous distraction for Arcanthus.”
A laugh burst out of Shay. “I guess he was right.”
“More than you know.”
They resumed walking, turning right at the next intersecting hallway.
Shay’s feet were hurting, and she had to pee something fierce, but she wanted Samantha to keep talking.
She needed to know more. There was just something niggling in the back of her mind, something that made her feel uneasy and on edge.
It was like that little voice that had kept telling her this was all too good to be true.
“So, if it’s a chemical thing, do they not have a choice in the matter?” Shay asked as nonchalantly as she could.
“Yes and no. They’re drawn to that mate, but it’s all instinctual at first. Emotions have nothing to do with it, other than lust. They can fight it and ignore it.
It’s not necessarily easy, but it’s possible.
So they can’t prevent themselves from feeling it, but they can prevent themselves from acting on it. ”
Which meant Drakkal really wanted Shay.
“What’s he like?” Shay asked. “Drakkal.”
“He can be…intense. I was scared of him, at first. There was the whole him not liking me around thing early on, and he’s pretty hard to read.”
Shay chuckled. “Resting bitch face.”
Samantha smiled. “Yeah. He’s…I don’t know.
He’s trustworthy and exceedingly loyal. He’s very focused most of the time, and he can come off as being overly serious, but he jokes around just like everyone else.
Even more, when it comes to Arcanthus. They’ve known each other a long time, and are pretty much like brothers to each other.
But Drakkal’s very guarded. He doesn’t like to show much real emotion, even though I know he feels it.
He just locks it away and tries to show everyone the big, strong azhera.
“And he’s very protective of his friends. Like”—her smile faded, and she dropped her gaze—“like willing to die to keep them safe.”
Those words caused a deep, sharp ache in Shay’s chest, so strong that her next breath was a struggle.
Just like my father.
That reminder hurt, but what hurt even more was the thought that followed—she wasn’t sure if she could endure that sort of pain again.
She wasn’t sure she could endure another loss like that.
Her fear of it was so strong, so intense, that she didn’t know if she could even bring herself to take a chance on it, regardless of how small the likelihood of her fear coming to fruition was.
And is it really that small? He runs security for a criminal organization. There’s bound to be trouble. That’s how he lost his arm, isn’t it? And just look at what happened at Murgen’s.
I almost killed Drakkal down there. What would’ve happened if the rest of Murgen’s security team had been alerted?
“Here we are!” Samantha announced.
Shay looked up to find herself in front of a door; she’d not realized just how lost she’d become in her own thoughts. Samantha pressed the button on the panel, opening the door, and stepped into the room. Shay followed; she was immediately struck by how big and beautiful the room was.
It had to easily be at least three times as big as the apartment she’d just left behind.
The carpet was a deep violet, which complimented the light blue accents evident throughout the room—and both colors worked surprisingly well with the more neutral gray of the walls.
A wide, square light panel hung from the ceiling directly over the large bed, casting a clear, inviting glow on the neatly made, navy-blue bedding.
Samantha moved deeper into the room and brushed her fingers over a control panel on the wall.
Several wide drawers pushed out of the wall, and a door-sized section slid aside to reveal a closet.
“I got you some clothes. I really hope they fit okay. I wasn’t sure with…
” Her gaze dipped to Shay’s rounded stomach, visible between the parted sides of her jacket.
“You can put your stuff wherever you’d like. ”
Shay smiled. “Thanks.”
Sam returned the smile and pointed at the other end of the room. “The bathroom is through there. Oh, and we ordered some things for the baby. They should come soon.”
Shay moved her hands to her stomach, cradling it, as her heart clenched.
There’s that damned stinging in my eyes again.
Seeming to understand Shay’s silence, Sam went on, her smile unwavering. “If you need anything, just let me know. And, uh…just so you know, since he basically demanded it, your room is next to Drakkal’s.”
Shay huffed a laugh. “Of course it is.”
The other woman chuckled. “Anyway, it’s late, and I’m sure you’re exhausted. I’ll have some food brought here so you can eat and get some rest.” She moved to the door and opened it. Before she stepped through, she looked back and said, “And honestly Shay…I’m glad you’re here.”
Once Samantha was gone, Shay eased herself onto the bed. Floored—that was the word. She was absolutely floored. These people didn’t know her, Samantha didn’t know her, and yet they’d opened their arms to Shay and welcomed her into their home.
Part of her wanted so badly to distrust them, to see them as the criminals they’d admitted to being and treat them with the appropriate caution and skepticism, but she couldn’t.
And that left her utterly off balance. The world—the universe—wasn’t a nice place full of nice people.
It was cold, and hard, and lonely, and people were mean and selfish.
Mom and Dad weren’t. I wasn’t.
I’m not anymore.
Shay shrugged off her jacket and settled her hands on her belly, smiling as she rubbed it lovingly. “This could work, Baby.”
Even if it didn’t…she’d earn some credits and get out. She’d left bad situations before, and she could leave this one if necessary. It wasn’t like she’d put permanent roots down here; this was just another stop along the way, hopefully better than the others she’d made.
But she found that she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to make this work. A safe place, food, good people—it was perfect for her and her baby. This could be home.
Shay breathed in deeply and lifted her gaze toward the door.
There was just the matter of her mate to sort out.