Chapter Nine #2
Nikolai looked tense a few weeks ago before we took off one another’s clothes, like something was bothering him.
Something more pressing than me snooping around.
I don’t think he was intruding on my personal space with intentions of having sex with me.
Something else is going on, I fear. Something that will lead to more questions, like Nikolai said.
I jump in my car, slam the door and lock myself inside, just in case. Slamming my foot on the gas, I drive away, glimpsing in the rearview mirror to check the area one final time.
Wide shadows elongate on the pavement, turning more of the parking lot into shade. I might not be able to see anyone, but that doesn’t mean nobody is there.
I drive away, but the unease continues to linger in my heart.
***
Knock, knock!
Even though I know it’s just Sophia, my stomach twists. The anxiety from earlier hasn’t completely worn off.
I walk over to the door and let her in, finding myself taking a sharp inhale of breath for some reason.
“Lau! Oh my God, girl!” Sophia flings her arms around me. “I’ve missed you, babe!” She removes her arms and stares at me. Normally she invites herself in, but today she stands in the doorway. “You’re tense. Everything okay?”
I close the door and pull her into the living room. “Come, take a seat. You don’t want to be standing for this.”
“Oh?” A shadow crosses her face. She sits down. “What happened?”
I exhale. Short and direct.
“I slept with Nikolai.”
Her eyes widen. The surprised expression from earlier is instantly replaced by a knowing grin. “I knew it.”
What the hell?
Was it that obvious?
I open my hands in question. “Why are you smiling? You’re not supposed to be smiling. This is a serious situation. Very serious. I don’t think you know just how—”
“Relax, it’s okay.” There’s something soothing about Sophia’s voice. She could enact world peace with that voice if she wanted. “I knew it was only going to be a matter of time.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Come on, Lauren. It was so obvious. The way he looked at you at the wedding. The way you looked at him.”
She thinks it’s the start of some cringy love story.
Time to drop the bomb.
“I’m pregnant.”
That erases the smile.
Sophia straightens herself, her expression shifting from amused to shocked. “What? Are you being serious?”
“Deadly.”
She runs a hand through her hair, leaning forward. “Holy shit. Okay, um...” She takes a breath. “Are you keeping it?”
I shake my head, not because I don’t want to. Because this is a lot to wrap my head around.
“God, Soph, I don’t know what to do. I only just found out. I always wanted to be a mother, but this isn’t how I imagined it. We’re not even together,” I say, leaning in. “And he’s dangerous.” My voice becomes a whisper for some reason when I say that.
I press a hand to my stomach to remind myself that I’m carrying a child, a real human being. My brain seems ten seconds behind today since seeing those two positive lines. It’s too much to digest, especially on top of all of the other shit going on.
Getting an abortion would be the right thing to do, Lauren.
The sensible thing to do.
But the thought of calling the doctor’s office for another appointment makes me sick.
I only found out an hour ago that I was pregnant, but already, I feel drawn to the baby.
You don’t realize how powerful maternal instincts are until they kick in.
And mine are certainly kicking in. Getting an abortion just doesn’t feel right, and I feel queasy every time the thought crosses my mind.
Then again, there’s common sense. What sort of life would this baby have with a Bratva boss as its father? Nikolai Rogov isn’t exactly the suburban dad type who will be taking the kids out every weekend to local sporting events or walks in the park. I doubt he would even have time to be a dad.
I turn back to Sophia to see her studying me carefully. I sense she’s been doing this for some time.
“Nikolai seems like a good man.”
I scoff. “You’re joking, right? He’s ruthless. That’s why he’s so jacked. Every time he gets the urge to order fast food, he eats testosterone instead. Or orders for somebody to be killed. Must sate the appetite.”
Sophia doesn’t laugh at my poor attempt at a joke. She just continues staring. “Timur trusts him.” She turns sheepish after saying his name, finally breaking eye contact. Her cheeks turn pink.
I frown. “You sure this is an arranged marriage?”
The blush deepens, cheeks turning red now. I could ask for more details, but I decide to leave it at that.
I bite my lip. I guess I should be happy for her.
Instead, I’m even more worried. Of course, Timur trusts Nikolai.
They’re on the same team. Nikolai gives the orders and Timur carries them out.
It’s them against the world, and I would bet he kisses Nikolai’s ass just like everybody else seems to do.
But who am I to talk? Now, I’m getting involved with the same shady people as Sophia. I had a moment of weakness, and look where that got me.
But I’ve learned my lesson. It will never happen again.
As for the baby, I guess Nikolai has the right to know. It’s just as much his as it is mine. The problem is, telling him would only complicate things right now. I need to keep this to myself, at least until I can figure out what to do.
Let’s not forget what happened to my mother.
Nothing good comes from being tied to a man like Nikolai Rogov.