Chapter Fifteen
Lauren
My head’s screwed.
That’s the only way I can describe my current state of mind.
I glue my eyes to the computer screen, trying to force my brain to focus, but all it does is think about Nikolai.
Even hours later, I still feel the weight of his body against mine.
Still taste the mint on his tongue. Feel his hard cock press into my hip.
If I weren’t in the office, I probably would have let him rip off my clothes and bend me over the desk.
But for once, with my father right down the hall, it was too risky. Not to mention that it is fucked up, this wild chemistry we have. Whatever the case, I did the right thing, putting a stop to it.
But now my mind can’t stop wandering. Maybe I should have stopped him sooner. Shouldn’t have relaxed into his embrace and let him kiss me.
He pushes my boundaries.
Typical fuckboy attitude.
He keeps teasing me because he knows we’re drawn to each other, and he knows I’m struggling to resist. But that doesn’t mean I should just give in to my desire.
I should be more responsible than this. It’s my own fault because I can’t seem to control my body around him. Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones too.
Dammit!
Unable to focus, I log out of the computer and pick up my phone. A chat with Sophia is what I need. Maybe she can offer me some advice because right now, I’m desperate for some.
She answers on the first ring.
“Hey, Lala. What’s up?”
“Hey Soph… Guess who showed up at the office today?”
“Ooh, let me guess. Baby daddy?”
“Okay.” I wince. “Can we just stick with Nikolai for now?”
“Alright, Nikolai it is.” She snickers. “Did you end up telling him he’s about to become a dad?”
“Didn’t have to. He found out. Came around banging on my door the other day, demanding to know if it was his.
Anyway, that’s beside the point.” I take another breath, stabilizing myself.
“The point is that he was here earlier this afternoon for a ‘business meeting.’ He wants us to manage some of his investments. One thing led to another and we almost had sex again.”
“Again?!” Sophia echoes.
“Yep. He came on to me, and… I almost didn’t resist. Thank God some sense came to me. I managed to get him out before we had a chance to take off our clothes and mess up my desk.”
There’s a pause on the receiving end of the phone.
“Soph? You still there?”
The silence continues. I can practically hear her grinning down the other end of the line. She starts humming, the sound slowly leading up to a laugh, but I interrupt before she can get there.
“Seriously, Soph? This isn’t funny. He’s dangerous!”
“All I’m hearing is that he likes you. A lot. It doesn’t take much to see. He seems to really want to be in this baby’s life if he won’t leave you alone.”
“Are you being serious?”
“Look, Lauren.” Sophia exhales. “I don’t know why you’re trying so hard to push him away, but this is your life. Have it your way. I’ll support you no matter what, okay?”
“Thank you.”
I feel her breath stop for a moment.
“The baby,” she says. “Have you told your father?”
I stiffen at the question, anxiety balling up inside of me.
I don’t know why that makes me nervous, but somehow, I know that not telling him is the right thing to do.
There’s something shady going on with him, and I fear it’s getting worse.
Since Nikolai got me pregnant, my hormones have shifted.
It’s like I have more intuition now. I always knew that my father wasn’t exactly an angel, but now, every time I hear his name, alarm bells go off in my ears as a warning to keep my distance.
“Lauren? You still there?”
“Yeah,” I respond, shaken from my thoughts. “No, I haven’t told him. I don’t plan to.”
“He’ll find out eventually,” warns Sophia. “Won’t it be better coming from you?”
I shake my head. “He can’t know. Not yet. If he finds out, the baby can forget living a life of its own. Its entire life will be mapped out according to my father’s plans. Just like mine was.”
Sophia goes quiet, which means she agrees with me. What I don’t say to her is that there’s very likely blood on my father’s hands, too. Maybe even my mother’s blood.
My pulse quickening, I take a deep breath and shut my eyes. Pregnant women can’t be getting stressed. It’s not good for the baby.
“Listen,” I say. “I have to go now, Soph. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay,” says Sophia. “Love you.”
“Love you too, Soph. Thanks for being there for me.”
“Sure, babe. Always.”
I hang up and press the phone to my chest. I feel a tear form in my eye but push it away, flinging back my head to prevent it from falling.
Right now, all I need is a Sophia hug. I want things to go back to the way they were before.
I want high school back, us sitting next to each other talking shit to make the time go faster in class.
All I ever wanted was for the time to go faster. For the school day to be finished already.
Now, I wish the clock would tick slower.
Things aren’t the same anymore. Sophia is married off to a member of the Bratva, and I’m carrying his friend’s child. We’re both out of our depth.
Although, it sounds like Sophia is managing to keep afloat.
I take the USB out of my pocket and play with it in my hands. Part of me doesn’t want to read through the contents, scared of what I might find. I shut my eyes. Ignorance is bliss, but I also need to know what my father is doing. Maybe those files even hold answers about my mother’s death.
If only you were here, Mom…
What would you do in my shoes?
I don’t know why I’m starting to believe Nikolai about Timur being innocent, having nothing to do with Mom’s death.
As a billionaire Russian gangster, he isn’t exactly the textbook version of reliability.
Perhaps that’s why I’m trying so hard to push him away.
But one way or another, the “Nikolai effect” is starting to work its way through me.
I have him in my system now.
In more ways than just one…
I turn the USB in my hands, still thinking about him. Why does he want us to manage his investments? Is he up to something? Is he working with my father behind my back? Or is this simply a way for him to keep me close? Or is it something more than that? Something I haven’t figured out yet?
Maybe the USB in my hand has the answers.
I shut my eyes again, but I still see him.
His face. His body. His blue eyes touch something inside of me, something that no other person has managed to do before.
I have encountered many people in my life, but Nikolai Rogov’s eyes are the only pair to actually transcend the physical and make me feel something.
I open my eyes and continue staring at the USB stick.
I need to take action. I need to read through these files and uncover the truth. But I can’t do it here.
I rise from my seat, swing my jacket around my shoulders, and grab my car keys. I should look at this information on my own, personal laptop—not the company computer. Besides, we’re approaching the end of the workday anyway.
I lock up, take the elevator down, and head outside.
The street air feels different out here.
Muggier than normal. Undoing the buttons of my jacket, I stride to the parking lot as fast as possible before Father sees me and calls me to find out why I’m leaving early.
Besides, I have a feeling it’s only a matter of time before Danielle tells him that I stayed behind in his office this morning.
I have to get home and see those files before she spills my secret.
I’m almost at the parking lot when I feel something in my gut, prodding. Telling me to stop whatever the hell I’m doing and walk back. To head back inside where it’s safe. Which is strange because it’s the middle of the afternoon. The sun’s out. It shouldn’t be dangerous to be alone outside.
Still, my instinct keeps screaming at me. Goosebumps rise on my skin, which is weird—it’s hot out here. But I go cold, feeling the need to button back up my jacket.
It’s okay, Lauren.
It must be your hormones again.
I start up again, continuing to head towards the parking lot. Although we’re nearing the end of the workday, it’s still too early for people to start leaving their offices. All the cars are standing still and there isn’t a single soul out here but me.
Except it’s not just me.
There is somebody else out here.
I can feel it.
Ripping off the band-aid, I snap around and see a shadow that looks like the outline of a man. Not wanting to look more than necessary, I turn back around and enter the parking lot, pacing towards the far end where my car is parked, fumbling for my keys in my jacket pocket.
Relax, Lauren.
It must be someone else from the office.
I quicken my steps, almost breaking into a run.
My heels click hard against the concrete pavement.
When I turn around again, I notice that the figure has teleported closer, now sandwiched between two vehicles, stationary, as he watches me again.
Sunlight cuts around him, so I still can’t see his face—just the outline of his body.
What the hell?
Is this guy following me?
Maybe I wasn’t being crazy, after all.
My pulse spikes, my breath becoming shallow.
I lunge forward.
And so does he.
Shit!
I dart past a long line of cars and beeline for the other side of the car park, my eyes catching sight of an alley up ahead. My vision has become blurry, but I know this alley. It leads to a crowded main street. I’m sure I can lose my stalker there.
My feet are starting to hurt, pain spreading through my ankles and down to the soles of my feet. I’d be able to run faster barefoot, but taking off the heels would cost me time that I can’t afford, considering how fast this man seems to be able to run.
A tear slips from the corner of my eye.
Dammit!
What if this is the end?
What if Nikolai was right all along?
Maybe he wasn’t telling me to stop digging so his organization would be protected. Maybe he was actually telling me to stop for my own good.
I grit my teeth, the heels almost slicing my feet in half. Turning around, I notice the figure just a few feet away now. He’s obviously faster than me. He’s wearing a black balaclava to conceal his identity; long, black clothes, too.
No!
My body starts to overheat, my head feeling light.
I will my pained feet and legs to continue, to carry me faster, and make it across the alleyway.
I try to quicken my pace even more, as much as my body will allow.
Luckily, thanks to the surge of adrenaline, I’m able to keep sprinting.
At the end of the alleyway, I see light. Cars drive past, one after the other.
Civilization!
People!
Thank God!
I race to the light at the end of the tunnel, hoping that I can turn the corner and make it to safety before the stalker catches up to me, but when I look back, he’s right behind me.
No!
It’s clear that running alone isn’t going to save me anymore. But maybe something else can.
I slip my shaking hand into my jacket pocket to pull out my phone, trying to navigate to the phone dial whilst running. Now would be a good time to have Nikolai’s number—I’m sure he’d come to my rescue and save me from this nightmare.
I settle for emergency services, inputting nine-one-one into the dial.
My finger is a second away from hitting ‘call’ when a gloved hand clamps over my mouth and I’m pulled back. My phone slips from my hand, hitting the concrete with a crack.
I scream, the sound muffled. My heart shudders in my chest, my pulse going a thousand miles an hour. I don’t stand a chance.
I’m too out of puff to breathe through my nose. I suck in as much air through my mouth as possible, but it’s not enough.
My lungs feel like they’re getting tighter.
A faint spell passes through me.
Then comes the hazy vision.
The dark walls of the alley are starting to close in around me, crushing me into a suffocating box. The only way to escape is to shut my eyes, but if I do that, I fear that will be the end.
It’s over, Lauren.
You made your bed, now you have to lie in it.
I hear footsteps echo, like they’re coming from another world.
Maybe I’m dreaming.
But then I see it. Another figure. This one is all black too, but taller.
Broader.
It moves like a nocturnal predator.
I’m not prepared for the sound that comes next. A sickening crack. A bone breaking.
The gloved hand drops from my mouth, the body it belongs to almost taking me with it as it crashes to the ground. It doesn’t even make a sound—just quietly collapses to the floor.
I gasp, air filling back into my airways now that I can make use of my mouth again. A second, bigger gasp escapes my mouth when I turn around to see my attacker unconscious on the floor, their neck misaligned with their shoulders.
That accelerates my breathing again.
I turn around, prepared to meet the same fate as the first guy, when I see a familiar face press a finger to his lips.
“Shh. No screaming, lapochka.”
Nikolai steps into the faint ray of sunlight between us, confirming that it is in fact him, not just a figment of my imagination. He adjusts his white linen sleeve, rolling it back down like this was nothing.
My knees feel like they’re about to give way.
It’s not fear, it’s something worse.
It’s realization.
Realization that he was right about everything.
And I hate that.