Chapter Twenty-Two
Nikolai
I make a right at the intersection, turning the vehicle as we make our way to Lauren’s doctor appointment.
She’s quiet this morning, her head turned away from the windshield like she can’t even look out of the same window as me. Something is bothering her.
I press on the gas. She’s twelve weeks along today. They’re going to tell us the gender of the baby. It should be a good day, but her face has been pale all morning. Maybe another wave of nausea has hit her, or maybe she’s starting to realize just how real this whole thing is.
Her and me having a child together.
Aside from me being a part of her life since she fell pregnant, we haven’t spoken about what the future holds for us. All I know is that there is no chance I’m letting them out of my sight.
I pull into the parking lot, kill the engine, and help her out of the car. She’s slow in stepping out, her jaw hardening as she nervously surveys the surroundings. Her eyes anxiously flick between the cars, searching for any shadows.
“I’m with you. Come on. It’s okay.”
I grab her hand and we walk in together.
She advances to the reception desk, checking herself in.
This morning, she wears her hair in a low ponytail, and it sweeps long across her back every time she moves her head.
Even in this vulnerable state, she still presents herself well, putting on the same confident face to the world.
The receptionist makes a comment about her nails. She smiles and thanks them, causing me to smile to myself. For a moment, my chest swells knowing that this charismatic woman is mine.
Calm the fuck down, mudak.
She’s not yours just because she’s carrying your child.
It’s true. No boundaries have been established between us.
We’re having sex and we’re about to become parents, but we’re still not a couple.
We’ve had too much going on to talk about it.
And even though I don’t know what the fuck we are, I’m not going to pressure her into a conversation until she’s ready.
When the nurse calls her name, we head in. She lies down on the exam table, rolling back her shirt just enough to expose her stomach. Now, at twelve weeks, a small bump has formed. It dawns on me just how real all of this is.
You’re going to be a father, Rogov.
That’s a big fucking responsibility.
Bigger than the Bratva.
Snapping myself back into reality, I watch as the nurse spreads the gel across Lauren’s skin, then moves the probe, inspecting the screen. I watch along with her, trying to search for something that might take the form of a baby amongst all of the unusual black and white imaging.
The nurse shifts the probe once more.
A heartbeat fills the room.
For the first time today, Lauren looks at me, her eyes widening.
“There,” says the nurse, pointing a finger to the screen. “Say hello to your baby.”
Bozhe moy.
I didn’t plan for this to hit me as hard as it does. Of course, twelve weeks into the pregnancy, there’s not much to look at, but I can just about work out where the head and the torso are. Lauren and I share a look, and I can see tears forming in the corners of her eyes.
My heart rate picks up too. This only makes me want to be closer to her.
To establish something solid between us. It only fuels my desire to rid myself of this Aslanov problem once and for all, so that Lauren can birth this child into the world in peace, without danger looming over us.
“Everything looks good.” The nurse turns to Lauren. “Would you like to know the gender?”
Lauren nods, and the nurse prints off a document, tucking it into an envelope.
“Here you go.” She winks, handing the envelope to Lauren. “Have a wonderful day.”
We leave the building and make our way to the car in silence, only exchanging a few stolen glances. By the time we’re back in the car, my heart is pounding erratically in my chest.
I turn to Lauren. She sits in the passenger seat clutching the envelope harder than necessary, staring at it.
“Are you ready?”
She nods, eyeing the envelope for another minute before ripping it open. She takes the document out with shaking hands, her eyes frantically scanning the page for the part that she’s been waiting for. Then, she sucks in a sharp breath and slaps her hand over her mouth.
I raise my eyebrow, waiting.
“It’s a girl.”
Her smile is contagious and I can’t help but grin. She flings her arms around me, sniffing against my neck as we rock back and forth for a while breathing each other in. With my head pressed to her temple, I feel her soaring pulse.
She releases a breath, taking her hands away. “We’re having a girl, Niko,” She says it again as a whisper, like she’s trying to make sense of this revelation. A hand rests on her lower abdomen, another small laugh leaving her lips.
I watch her smiling, as tears begin to stream down her face. There’s no doubt, this means a lot to her, and fuck me if I don’t feel the same way.
Blyad.
You’re going to be a father, mudak.
To a baby girl.
I can’t help but feel blessed that Lauren is going to be the mother of my child. As fiery and stubborn as she is, she makes the world a better place, turning the air sweet wherever she goes. She walks into every room with confidence. A young girl needs a mother like Lauren to look up to.
Sometimes, she reminds me of my own mother. She wasn’t a quitter either, and exuded self-assurance in every room she walked into. Maybe that’s why I’m drawn to her so much.
And with a child on the way, it feels like I have a purpose in life.
Not like with the Bratva—a real purpose this time.
As the head of the Rogov Empire, there’s nothing to focus your attention on but running the game. Days float by. Weeks mold into one another, and before you know it, a new year is turning over and I’m one year older, still doing the same old shit as before.
But not anymore.
My life feels like it’s starting to begin anew.
I start up the car and pull out of the parking lot. Lauren sniffs intermittently, resuming her silence. I leave her to process, to sit with her thoughts and make sense of them. There’s probably a lot floating around.
But then, she exhales shakily, breaking the silence. “I found something last night.”
I glance over but she continues staring into her lap. I wait another moment, giving her the opportunity to explain herself, but the silence continues to extend.
“Are you going to tell me what it is?”
“My father…” she turns to me. “I think he was involved in my mother’s murder.” She turns back to her lap, picking at her manicured fingernails.
I nod. I wish the news was surprising. It’s not. Not to me, at least. But I keep my mouth shut. “Do you know the details?”
Lauren purses her lips. “No. I mean, everything points to that but… I still don’t know how it happened.”
I nod again and make a left at the next intersection when the lights turn green.
“What are you doing?” she says, straightening up. “This isn’t the way back home.”
Home?
She’s calling my place home now?
I raise my eyebrow but refrain from saying anything. Now isn’t the time to comment.
“We’re making a stop first.”
“Where?”
“Timur and Sophia’s,” I answer, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel.
“Why?”
“I asked Timur to look into what really happened to your mother. I want to see if he found anything.”
There’s a flicker in her eyes as she looks at me. “Thank you, Niko,” is all she says before she settles back in her seat.
I nod and keep my focus on the road, staring through the windshield. I already know that Charles Watson is connected to Aslanov’s business. But the fact that he’s involved in his wife’s murder adds a whole new dimension to this shitshow.
Maybe Timur already found the answers we’re looking for.
I exhale all of the tension out of my chest.
I admire Lauren’s strength and unwillingness to give up.
But no matter how strong, no matter how unyielding she is, I don’t think she’ll ever be ready for what’s at the end of all this.